Are you wondering how to love your highly sensitive partner effectively? Learn how to support them with these tips suiting their sensitivity.
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Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
If you are choosing to be in a relationship with a highly sensitive person, you already realize that having this trait is extremely unique and special.
This article is for those interested in caring for a person that identifies as an HSP but are not quite sure how to. Learn to support and encourage them, cultivate a healthy environment for your relationship, and care for your partner in ways that best suit their sensitivity.
Here’s What You’ll Learn
Surprising to some, many of us know a highly sensitive person. Even more are friends with, roommates with, or partners with one.
According to Dr. Elaine Aron, “high Sensitivity is a personality trait and is not affiliated with any personality disorder”. Furthermore, up to 25% of the population reports being HSPs, with a fairly even split between men and women.
An HSP is said to be present in up to 30% of intimate relationships. In other words, your chances of meeting and falling in love with an HSP at some point in your life are approximately 30% at any given time. And, if you play your cards correctly, it can be the most intense and fulfilling relationship you’ll ever have.
Understanding What an HSP Experiences
A highly sensitive person can be identified in a variety of ways. Check out this blog post for a more detailed explanation.
They are constantly navigating how they feel because they process emotions so deeply. Keeping their surroundings clean and tidy ensures stability and promotes peace for them.
For predictability, they enjoy following a consistent routine on a regular basis. This includes getting more sleep than is necessary. According to studies, this is not due to laziness or general fatigue, but rather to overly accelerated nervous systems and higher levels of neuro-processing.
Sleep is one of the most important things for a highly sensitive person to reset and avoid burnout, which can lead to additional health problems.
Intimacy is usually a strong requirement in their relationships, due to their innate ability to read people and situations. But apart from these common similarities, each Highly Sensitive Partner has preferences, quirks, pet peeves, and triggers.
Unlike them, you probably can’t “read minds”, so communicate well with your partner to learn how they operate most comfortably.
According to this research, “The success of a relationship involving an HSP is largely dependent on the ability of the HSP to recognize their own threshold for overarousal or overstimulation and to communicate these needs to their partner.”
Ways To Give Your Highly Sensitive Partner Space
HSPs most definitely need time set apart to be alone, recharge, and calm their overworked nervous system.
Setting up a space for them to achieve this tranquility is incredibly beneficial. Whether that’s a cozy nook within a favorite room of theirs or even a separate room designated for them, maintaining comfort and serenity in that space (and most importantly, quiet) is essential to combat overstimulation.
Additionally, the more you get to know your partner, you will begin to assess when they are experiencing overwhelm. It is meaningful to suggest they “escape” from the situation and retreat to their safe space.
How to Handle Social Activities with an HSP
Firstly, Highly Sensitive Partners will be very particular with the social activities they take part in. They probably do not prefer surprises.
It is best never to spring an outing, party, gathering, or event on them, as that will not result well. HSPs need adequate time to wrap their mind on whichever activity they are going to take part in.
Secondly, allow them a substantial amount of time to get ready. Rushing around, stressing out, or forgetting anything essential is especially chaotic for their ability to enjoy themselves.
Thirdly, notice while you are out if they seem overstimulated and need a “time out”. Ask if they need to go outside, find a quiet corner, or take some deep breaths in the bathroom. They may want your company, they may not.
Something to note though is NEVER complaining about your partner’s sensitivities or need for space to the company you are with.
Lastly, always show grace and understanding if your Highly Sensitive Partner needs to cancel or reschedule an outing. They will know themselves best and if they do not think it is a good time, then that is perfectly fine.
You care about them for who they are, not how many activities they attend. Respecting their decision displays the utmost care and support.
The Importance of Showing Empathy to Your Highly Sensitive Partner
There will be moments when it is difficult to understand your Highly Sensitive Partner, or you simply cannot comprehend what they are going through. Even so, it is paramount that you demonstrate kindness. Always.
Sometimes even they cannot put words to how they are feeling. And no wonder, it is exhausting having so many thoughts about so much ALL THE TIME.
This study shows people in general and their behavior are what an HSP interprets and evaluates most of the time. Seeing as we’re on a nonstop quest to analyze and understand those around us, knowing that your intentions are also to see and know us is very reassuring.
A majority of HSPs come from a place of expecting rejection, due to their differences from the general public and popular culture. They are prone to constant states of overthinking and over-analyzing. Perhaps in the past, they may have experienced previous partners that rejected them for their sensitivity.
Many HSPs are insecure about their differences. If you truly care about them, revealing your heart and your true intentions of compassion for them will make all the difference. They are naturally empathetic to others and receiving that same empathy from their partner will allow feelings of love, acceptance, and happiness.
Show them you care, are concerned for their wellbeing, and vocalize you accept them no matter what.
The Ultimate Benefits of Being With a Highly Sensitive Partner
Although at times it may seem a different and challenging path to love and care for a Highly Sensitive Person, ultimately, it is so very worth it.
HSPs are passionate and emotionally intelligent, inclined to loving VERY hard. They speak with confronting honestly and intuitive accuracy.
Also, HSPs notice details about you no one else ever would and use that knowledge to love you better. They are creative and intelligent and will help you recognize your goals and maximize your strengths.
Your HSP partner is ultimately your best cheerleader. And most importantly, Highly Sensitive People have a beautiful ability to hone in on life’s most precious details. They will point out incredible things to allow you the enjoyment of the extraordinary.
Do you suspect your partner to be a highly sensitive person and do you want to learn more about thriving in your relationship together? Then you should definitely consider reading the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Person In Love‘. It is a book written by researcher Dr. Elaine Aron, where you’ll learn what it takes to thrive in a relationship with or as a highly sensitive person.
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