Are you as a highly sensitive person currently in a long-distance relationship and struggling with insecurity? In this article, guest writer Shweta Gautam shares 8 tips on how you can overcome the challenges of a long-distance relationship.
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Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
Long-distance relationships are tough. However, long distance-relationships become even more difficult when you are a highly sensitive person, as you feel everything more deeply. It is easy to catch feelings of insecurity and jealousy. Trust issues are over the roof, especially if it’s just the beginning of the distance.
So how do you deal with emotions like insecurities, trust issues, jealousy, etc.? Emotions that hold the power of eating you alive with overthinking and imaginary scenarios: how do you cope with them?
Here’s a step-by-step guide of how I have been doing it for the past 7.5 years. Sounds crazy, right? It sure is. But you cannot deny the experiences this one person has given me over years. I wonder it would have been the same, had we have been in no distance or meeting frequently kind of relationship.
This guide will help you to look at the insecurities and trust issues within your long-distance relationship from a new perspective. You’ll discover practical tips on how to overcome these challenging feelings and truly thrive in your relationship.
Here’s What You’ll Learn
- The Challenges Of A Long-Distance Relationship As A Highly Sensitive Person
- How To Deal With The Challenges Of Long-Distance Relationships As A Highly Sensitive Person
- #1 Acknowledge Your Feelings
- #2 Take Time To Process
- #3 Do Not Deny Your Feelings As A Highly Sensitive Person In A Long-Distance Relationship
- #4 Take Time To Think About How To Share Your Feelings With Your Partner
- #5 Communicate With Your Partner
- #6 Give Your Partner Time To Accept Your Input
- #7 Spend Time Together Virtually
- #8 Meet In Person, If Possible
- Highly Sensitive Person In A Long-Distance Relationship? Don’t Give Up!
The Challenges Of A Long-Distance Relationship As A Highly Sensitive Person
Long-distance relationships are the test of your lifetime. If the love between two people can stand the test of time, I believe there’s nothing that can tear them apart. Here are some of the challenges you may experience within your long-distance relationship as a highly sensitive person.
Emotions Become Magnified
Long-distance relationships are different from usual relationships. Every emotion that you feel in a normal relationship is magnified to numerous folds. Simply because you have to express it all through texts, phone calls, or facetime.
You may interpret things differently than what your partner intended, simply because the energy is different over phone compared to real life. This can be extra challenging for the highly sensitive person in a long-distance relationship. After all, HSP’s are highly empathic and thrive the most when they are able to emphasize energetically with the other person.
People Questioning Your Choices
Additionally, there are people around you questioning your decision. They are quick to throw their doubts and negative instincts about your partner at you.
Moreover, they are not afraid to share their never-ending list of why you are being so foolish to trust someone sitting miles away. They have a whole lot of reasons to show you why a long-distance relationship won’t work for you as a highly sensitive person.
And then there’s you. The one who has invested all of their feelings and emotions into a person you don’t even get to meet every day or every week or even once a month. Of course, it’s crazy. But, isn’t that exactly what we call love? Crazy, unpredictable, and blind.
I know how hard it is. However, it becomes even harder when your partner is a highly sensitive person too; someone who doesn’t open up so easily. It is extremely hard to break those walls and make them comfortable in expressing themselves.
Having distance between two people is not just about missing each other and craving each other’s touch. Distance also brings a lot of emotions that can easily hamper your relationship both with your partner and with yourself. I won’t label these emotions “negative”, because feelings are not negative or positive, feelings are just feelings. They come and go. It is who you choose to be with, that keeps you together in the long run.
How To Deal With The Challenges Of Long-Distance Relationships As A Highly Sensitive Person
Throughout my long-distance relationship, I found the following tips to be helpful for me as a highly sensitive person and my partner:
#1 Acknowledge Your Feelings
Dealing with your emotions becomes a tough thing, especially when they come from a place of self-created insecurity and uncertainty. It becomes even severe when you both or one of you is a highly sensitive person. Because then you are more vulnerable.
Even a little change in your surroundings or some shift in the dynamics of your relationship with your partner can easily trigger these emotions. Hence, you must acknowledge what you are feeling and do not run away from your emotions.
#2 Take Time To Process
As you begin to acknowledge your feelings, you will take some time to process them. It takes time to understand how and why you are feeling insecure. It also takes time to notice and work on areas of your relationship that ignite trust issues.
You have to find out what is it that is bothering you. Are you feeling insecure because they mentioned someone else during that conversation? Is it because they are not as responsive to your texts or calls as they were in the beginning? You have to find out, what is it that channels your sensitivity so much that it controls your mind.
#3 Do Not Deny Your Feelings As A Highly Sensitive Person In A Long-Distance Relationship
Once you know what is bothering you and creating all these problems, you have to accept it. Denying your feelings because you don’t want to come across as possessive is wrong. Denying them thinking what will your partner think or how will they respond is wrong. You cannot run away from what is taking so much of your mental health.
Accepting your feelings is not only good for your relationship. But, as a highly sensitive person, it is the right thing to do. It is healthy for your peace of mind.
#4 Take Time To Think About How To Share Your Feelings With Your Partner
Now that you have acknowledged and accepted your thoughts, emotions, and feelings, the next major step is to share them with your partner. And, I know it is not that easy. It’s always easier said than done. But, we all know the reality.
You have a lot going in your mind. The questions, the answers, the perception, the reality, it is a whole lot. But the only solution is communication. However, the way you bring such conversation into place matters sometimes. Sometimes, it is just about speaking your heart out but sometimes it is being mindful of the words you use so as not to hurt the other person.
If you’d like to improve your way of sharing feelings, you may want to read the book ‘4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work – Anywhere!: A How-To Guide for Practicing the Empathic Listening, Speaking, and Dialogue Skills to Achieve Relationship Success’
#5 Communicate With Your Partner
This is where distance takes your real test. Communicating in person is easier as compared to conversations that happen over phone calls or text messages. I have been there several times and I know one thing for sure, that as much as the internet is a boon for people like us, it backfires too.
Therefore, you have to be patient while communicating such sensitive topics for there are high chances of miscommunication. You want your partner to be attentive and free of distractions while having these conversations.
#6 Give Your Partner Time To Accept Your Input
Once you have had the conversation and shared what is troubling you, you have to wait now. Sometimes, such revelations might be unexpected for your partner. Because when you are physically apart, you are less likely to skim through the situations and read your partner’s mind.
Yes, this gets better with time. But to reach the “better” level in any relationship, not just a long-distance one, it takes loyalty, trust, and patience. Hence, once you have accepted and communicated the problem with your partner, you must now give them the space to process the information too.
#7 Spend Time Together Virtually
Once your partner is aware of what’s troubling you, the next thing they should do must make you feel secure and confident about your relationship. This is something me and my partner do. We increase the individual efforts towards each other and make more time for us.
We try to keep it enjoyable yet connecting. Sometimes, it’s as easy as checking up on each other every hour. Other times, it’s random video calls. Sometimes, it’s creating some art together. I remember we drew some sketches once after a huge fight over some miscommunication. Trust me, it is always the little things that matter.
For instance, you may want to spend your virtual time together answering the questions from this fun book for couples: ‘Questions for Couples Journal: 400 Questions to Enjoy, Reflect, and Connect with Your Partner’
#8 Meet In Person, If Possible
Since we live in different states of the same country, it is comparatively easy for us to meet each other every few months. I know living in different countries, this is not often possible. But, if the distance between you two can be covered in a few hours, then meeting personally to talk things out is the most assuring way of making your partner feel secured about your relationship.
The simple fact that you care enough to drive for hours to see them and work this out, sheds many walls of insecurities and builds back the trust and love.
Highly Sensitive Person In A Long-Distance Relationship? Don’t Give Up!
Distance will always give your more reasons for not being together. You will have people around you who would be waiting for you both to drift apart. As an empath or a highly sensitive person, you will possibly allow all of these to influence you. But, if you have love, trust, loyalty, and respect for each other, nothing else will matter.
If your love can stand the test of time and circumstances, you don’t need a list of reasons to stay together. You just have to find that one reason for being with the other person and make it work for each other. I know it is not going to be easy. But, as long as you both are willing to work this out, it will all be worth it soon.
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If you’d like to learn more about long-distance relationships and how to make them work, make sure to read the book ‘Surviving the Distance: The Do’s, the Don’ts, and the Definitely’s of Surviving a Long Distance Relationship’