Do you want to help others without being manipulative? In this article, we share three valuable tips on how to achieve that.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Being an empath is a wonderful thing, but it comes with responsibilities. You are acutely aware of other people’s emotions, meaning it is easy to get sucked in when someone in your life needs support. You feel naturally drawn to people who need understanding and kindness, but it’s easy to become too absorbed in other people’s problems, and even try to control them.
Although you might never be intentionally manipulative, you could be puppeteering other people’s lives without realizing it. In this post, we’ll explore three ways to help others without trying to manipulate or control the outcome of their situation.
#1 Let Go Of Your Agenda Before You Assist Another Person
When you go into a situation from a point of view of care, you can sometimes go in with your own agenda that will prescribe the outcome of the situation. For example, if your friend is going through a messy breakup, you might go in with intense advice based on what you did during your last breakup. This agenda is often subconscious, but can wind up being negatively impactful if you are not careful.
Going into a situation where you want to care for someone, leave your agenda at the door. Every person is different, so you can’t prescribe how they should behave in the situation or what they should do to fix it. Instead, offer support in whatever path they choose, without judging them.
#2 Don’t Take On Their Pain – It Doesn’t Help
As an empath, you tend to take on your friend or family member’s pain. If they go through something awful in their lives, you tend to feel sad on their behalf – this is totally normal. However, by taking on their pain and internalizing it, you are setting the stage for an unhelpful interaction.
Let’s explore this further. If you take on a person’s pain and allow it to bring you down, you are not in a good position to help them at all. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so try to take care of yourself and avoid falling down the painful rabbit hole that awaits! You’re better equipped to care for another person if you try to stay neutral. Moreover, avoid becoming sucked into the situation itself.
#3 Avoid Using Your Influence To Control The Outcome
If the person you want to support is someone very close to you, such as your child, parent, sibling or a best friend, you might be unintentionally influencing their decisions. Using your undue influence, you could be manipulating the outcome of the situation by persuading them to take a certain path. This is not a helpful or kind thing to do. Therefore, try to avoid this.
To avoid manipulating others, make sure you offer open-ended suggestions, and never reprimand someone for choosing a different path to you.
If you are an empath who wants to help others without becoming too involved, make sure you use this guide to transform the way you intervene in others’ lives.