In this guest blog, Scott Carrion shares 9 body language tricks that will help you to become the most charismatic person ever.
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Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
It’s weird, but most people have no idea how they come across to strangers. You know your thoughts and feelings intimately, just as you’re aware of how you look. However, none of us can see ourselves through another person’s eyes.
In other words, we have no idea if we seem confident or pushy; fun or obnoxious; attractive or egotistical. Luckily for us, there are certain things people do subconsciously when they like someone, which gives the game away. Here are nine body language tricks to get started.
Here’s What You’ll Learn:
#1 Sit Straight, Stand Straight
When the person slouches, his interlocutor perceives it as disrespect. It is one of the most important body language basics. This pose only means that you are not interested in things happening around you. Even if you are interested, slouching still gives the opposite effect.
When you sit or stand straight, you automatically take the power position. You look confident and fill the space around you. The next time you feel slouching, remember that this way you look small and powerless. Therefore, straighten your shoulders and back, relax, and feel the confidence filling your whole body, like famous automatenspiele players.
#2 Lean In
If the person leans back, it means she is not interested and trying to distance herself from you. If she leans forward, her body language shows that she’s trying to get closer. It means that she’s probably quite into the conversation!
By leaning slightly, but not enough for it to seem like an invasion of personal space (around half an arm’s length away), you show your attention, without becoming overbearing. When you answer the interlocutor, you can lean back. Thus, he will have a chance to lean in and show his interest.
#3 Make Gestures
When you’re having a conversation, don’t forget to use your hands to emphasize your point – it’ll keep the discussion interesting! Gesturing doesn’t just mean flailing your arms around like a kid; think about using hand gestures that help show what you mean.
It’s also good to vary the intensity of gestures depending on how much energy you want to put into what you are saying – emphasize more principal points with fiercer gestures and less principal – with subtle ones.
#4 Laugh More, Smile More, and Even Nod More
A person who smiles is always perceived better. This simple expression has strong power. Of course, it is necessary to objectively assess a situation. Sometimes, even a smile may be inappropriate. But there are also situations in which a smile is a principal factor. For example, when you meet or greet people, a friendly smile will set the conversation comfortably.
It’s the same thing with a laugh. The main point is that it should be appropriate – do not laugh at every word of the interlocutor, otherwise, you will not be taken seriously.
To show another person that you are passionate about his story, do not forget to nod sometimes, confirming his words. But again, don’t overdo it!
#5 Don’t Forget About Eye Contact
Eye contact is principal during a conversation because it lets other people know that their opinion matters to you! When listening to someone speaking, continue looking into their eyes or face at least 50% of the time.
You can also look away while they talk to give them a sense of privacy; when they end up speaking, turn back towards them and let them know that you’re still interested in what they have to say by continuing to look into their eyes.
#6 Firm Handshake
A strong, confident handshake is the first thing most people notice about another person’s potential charisma. Research suggests that it can take less than 200 milliseconds for your mind to determine whether you like someone or not.
Make sure to offer your hand with fingers pointing downwards and grip firmly (but not too hard). Smiling while shaking hands will help create a good memory of the other person’s touch. You don’t want to reappear as the limp-fish handshake guy!
#7 Imitate The Other Person’s Body Language
Body language is principal. It allows you to understand what someone might be thinking in any situation where their words are unclear.
When you imitate other people’s nonverbal cues, you can easily understand their moods and emotions.
You can mirror any gestures – the position of hands, legs, even facial expressions. The main thing is to do it with special care, so your interlocutor does not think that you are just parodying him.
#8 Forget About Crossing Your Arms and Legs
In most cases, charismatic people are quite open. And a position with crossed arms or legs (or even both) indicates that you are closed to communication. That’s why it’s principal to control your poses.
Even with the most charming and possessing facial expressions, this pose remains closed, and the interlocutor can perceive it as disinterest in communicating with him.
#9 Control Your Blinking
When you are talking with someone, you don’t want him to think that your eyelids are weighed down by bricks. It is very tough for a person not to blink his eyes while communicating. However, excessive blinking can be seen as a sign of discomfort or even a lack of confidence.
So, try to create a good balance between blinking and looking away from the interlocutor while he or she is talking.
Some Final Remarks
We hope this short post helped you get rid of some bad habits related to body language during communication. Just remember: charisma is neither in fancy clothes nor in overpriced watches, so there’s no need to worry about your bank account or social status.
Вe yourself, put these tips into practice, and everyone who talks to you for at least a minute will confidently say that you are a charismatic person.