Does it matter what people think of you? Too often we seek validation from others, be that from the likes we get on social media or the comments we get from the people around us. In this article, you’ll discover why it doesn’t always matter what people think of you.
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Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Why Do We Seek Validation?
Well, it’s often because we feel better about ourselves when people like us. When we gain their approval, our sense of self-worth goes up and so too do our feelings of confidence.
Is there anything wrong with this? Not always, no. So long as we’re not people-pleasing to gain approval, we can enjoy the attention we receive. It’s a human need to be liked so don’t feel guilty about wanting some level of approval.
But What About The People Who Judge Us?
We are thinking of those people at work or within our other social circles that criticize us. Or those online commenters that we don’t really know, but whose words we take to heart whenever they post nasty things on our blog or social media pages.
Should we care about what such people think? No, not always.
But too often, we take to heart what such people say to us and accept their words as truth. This isn’t right.
What Should We Do When People Judge Us?
It’s very easy for people to pass judgment but it’s up to us what we do with it. We shouldn’t believe everything they say is true, and we shouldn’t assume we have to change to please them.
If we are judged on our looks, we can make the necessary changes if we choose to. We can lose weight, buy veneers for missing teeth, and change our sense of fashion. But we should do these things because we want to and not because we are afraid of what others think of us.
We don’t have to conform to the standards they expect of us, especially if those standards are purely based on their own opinion. So, if we are happy with our appearance, be that before or after any changes we make, that should be all that matters. After all, the only person that needs to like the way we look is ourselves.
The same thing applies to any other areas where people judgment and criticism. We don’t need to conform to the belief of others unless there is value in listening to what they have to say.
Too often, however, people can attack us with words to hide their own insecurities, as putting us down can make them feel better. In such instances, we should stand back, take perspective, and disregard any word that was meant to diminish us.
It Doesn’t Matter What People Think Of You Because…
They don’t know you. Yes, they might know you superficially, but they don’t know why you are the way you are or why you choose to do what you do.
Yes, there are times when you might have to consider the opinion of others, especially if they have your best interests at heart. But if their words come from hate and not love, and if they make assumptions about you that aren’t true, you don’t need to listen to them.
You have no obligation to believe what other people say.
You don’t need to bend yourself to the will of those who disrespect you.
And you don’t always need validation because the only person that really needs to like you is you!
So, don’t not make an effort to be liked. But don’t radically change who you are for the sake of pleasing others either.
Be who you are, change what you want to change, and press the mute button on those people who don’t really care about you.
If you’d like to learn how to let go of worries about what others think of you, have a look at the book ‘Stop People Pleasing: Be Assertive, Stop Caring What Others Think, Beat Your Guilt, & Stop Being a Pushover’.