Did you recently get a divorce and ware you wondering what steps you should take now? In this article, we share 10 helpful tips.
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Divorce is never easy, even if you’re the one who has served the papers and made that decision. Choosing to end a marriage, a partnership that you entered into based on faith and love is not going to be straightforward.
Even if you’re able to remain amicable and stay friends, it doesn’t mean that you will find it simple to get through.
Divorce depression is a real thing. You may have been in the highest of spirits when walking down the aisle but it doesn’t always end that way.
Divorce doesn’t just mean you are leaving or losing a spouse, but also your friend. Going back to a place of pure friendship doesn’t work for a lot of couples and even if you can, that depression can still creep in.
Some people take some time out at a rehab for depression to recover and get some support, but it’s not always that straightforward.
You may not have the ability to do that and the severe depression after a divorce is akin to grief after a death. It’s painful and it’s not something that disappears overnight, which means that you have to learn to manage it.
If you have survived the initial divorce, you still have to process and work through the feelings of grief that come with losing a partner. So, here are our tips to help you to do that.
#1 Practice acceptance
The best way to deal with any kind of depression after a divorce is to accept what’s happened. It takes time but accepting it is the first step to healing. You have to give yourself the grace and time to grieve your marriage and the loss – even if you made the decision to end things. The problems that you couldn’t work through, the issues that saw you both butt heads; they need to be considered. Grief can come in waves, but keeping acceptance at the forefront of your mind is important.
#2 Don’t push yourself
You can’t ‘just get over it’ as people may tell you to do. Instead, you have to give yourself the time to understand that your pain and anxiety is normal. You’re going to feel all the feelings given that you have now got a future ahead of you that is different from the one that you originally planned. These feelings are okay to have and it’s a good idea not to push yourself into healing. Let yourself feel and go with it.
#3 Get to know what anxiety feels like for you
Anxiety looks and feels differently to each individual so you have to get to know what that will feel like to you. Keep a journal that helps you to dictate how you feel and know what those symptoms look like. If you keep a diary of your feelings, you’ll be able to pinpoint where depression is taking you and learn to make changes as you need to.
#4 Spend some time on your diet
You do not need to go on a diet, first and foremost, but you do need to recognise that heartbreak diets are not any good for you. Most people after a heartbreak choose to either comfort eat or not eat at all and it’s super important for your physical and mental health that you allow yourself to grieve but not set a pattern of unhealthy behavior. Keep yourself vigilant and give your body the nutrition it needs as opposed to hurting your body.
#5 Work it out
Anti-stress activities can help you to bring your adrenaline to the next level and that means figuring out a way to work your stress out of your body. Exercise can help you but so can mindful movement like yoga or tai chi. Being kind to yourself with stress-busting activities is a good way to ensure that you are able to overcome the depression that has set in with divorce.
#6 Surround yourself with support
Networks of support that make you feel well rested, happy and able to function. This is where you’d need your friends, and you’re left feeling like a happier person when you know you have people to lean on. It takes some time to find people you can comfortably feel feelings around, but once you have that network to lean on you will find yourself again. Don’t forget to ask for help from your doctor, too.
#7 Therapists are gold
Worth their weight in it, therapists are gold for someone in grief or recovering from a breakup. You don’t have to try couples therapy if you’re set on this meaning that your marriage is over, but individual therapy is always going to be something that benefits you overall. You can learn coping techniques for the days that it all feels too much, and they can help you to manage your feelings and anxieties.
#8 Get prepared for the next stages
As we said already, grief comes in stages and that is going to range from deep depression and sobbing to rage and anger. Even though no one has died, the ideal life that you have built for yourself is gone and that takes some time to get over. You have to prepare yourself for every stage of that grief, and it takes a lot out of you to do that. There may be days where it feels like it’s too much but those days can and will pass. Time is a great healer, after all.
#9 Start mapping out a new future
Once you have divorced, you have a whole new life ahead of you. Focusing on the positive elements of a new chapter can help you to take a positive view of everything going on. This is your opportunity to venture out of your comfort zone and really get out there into the world as the new you. You are no longer linked to someone else and you get to go out there and be there for yourself. It can feel daunting but very freeing at the same time!
#10 Start working on ways to cope
Depression that comes after a divorce can lead you into the temptation of drinking, smoking and gambling, which is only going to take you down the route of self-sabotage. Addictive behaviors can make that post-divorce feeling so much worse! Finding healthier coping mechanisms will help you to feel like you are in a better position to move forward. It is not easy to take steps every single day into a new life for yourself but if you have the right crutches to help, you’ll feel more supported.
Some final remarks
This is a major life transition for you and you need these tips to help you to know what to do next. You’re not alone in this, while it may feel like it at the beginning you can get through it. Accelerating your healing with these healing techniques is important. You want to be able to deal with your divorce and the next steps after it with as much support and happiness as possible. You might find that it takes you longer than you expected, but you should remember that there is no time limit for grief. You can get the help that you need without having to think about giving yourself over to the grief.
Use the tips we’ve put together for you – surviving divorce makes you stronger than you think you are. It sucks that you had to go through it and all the pain to get there, but if this was your choice then you’ve been given a fresh start.
You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles
