If you’re an empath, chances are you’ve felt someone else’s sadness settle into your own chest before you even understood what was happening between you. That’s the strange part about being an empath: your own emotions and the emotions you pick up from others can feel exactly the same in the moment. The difference is in noticing where the feeling lives in your body, how quickly it lifts once you’re away from the person or place, and building a few grounding habits so it becomes easier, over time, to tell your feelings apart from what you’ve absorbed.

I’ve always been sensitive to the vibe of a room the second I walk into it. Ask me how it went and I’ll tell you before anyone says a word. But the moment that gets me every time is seeing somebody else be angry, sad, disappointed, or crying. Within seconds, I notice myself tearing up too. It’s like my mirror neurons switch on and start responding to whatever is happening in front of them, whether I asked them to or not.

And while you’re here, make sure to check out our free boundary tracker printable for highly sensitive people!

Why Do Empaths Absorb Other People’s Emotions?

Mirror neurons are the part of the brain that fires both when you do something and when you watch somebody else do it, and in empaths and highly sensitive people, that system seems to run a little hotter. You’re not imagining it.

You’re simply wired to register other people’s inner states as if they were your own, faster and more intensely than most people do.

For me, this shows up most with the people I’m closest to. My partner is a great example. The second he’s upset or annoyed about something, I feel that same tightness rise up in me, even if it has nothing to do with me at all. Therefore, it isn’t always about strangers or crowded rooms. Sometimes the hardest emotions to separate from your own are the ones closest to home.

What Does Absorbing Someone Else’s Emotion Actually Feel Like?

Physically, it shows up in my heart first. When I feel empathy for somebody, I feel it as an intense sensation right in the center of my chest, almost like a heart-to-heart connection has opened up between us. Mentally, it lingers even longer. I’ll carry that other person’s situation with me for the rest of the day, quietly turning over what they’re dealing with and what I could do to help.

That combination, an immediate physical response plus a mental loop that won’t switch off, is what makes absorbed emotion so easy to mistake for your own. It doesn’t announce itself as “this belongs to someone else.” It just feels like a mood that showed up out of nowhere.

How Can You Tell Your Own Emotions Apart From What You’re Absorbing?

This is the part that took me the longest to learn, and honestly, I’m still practicing it. What helps me most is grounding my energy every week with a grounding mat. On the weeks I skip it, I notice the difference almost immediately: I feel far more open, and it becomes much harder to tell where somebody else’s emotion ends and mine begins. Weekly yoga, whether in a class or at home, does something similar. It’s less about the exercise itself and more about the pause it forces, a regular check-in with what’s actually mine to carry.

However, you don’t need a grounding mat to start practicing this. A few minutes of noticing your feet on the ground, a short walk after being around a lot of people, or simply asking yourself “is this mine?” the moment a feeling arrives can be enough to create some distance.

Why Didn’t I Understand This as a Child?

Long before I had the words “empath” or “highly sensitive person,” I was just a kid who felt confused and overwhelmed most of the time, without knowing why. I would burn out and fall asleep at completely random times of the day. Looking back, that was my body telling me, as clearly as it could, that my energetic hygiene needed attention. I just didn’t have the language for it yet.

That’s a big part of why I started HiSensitives in the first place! So that other empaths and highly sensitive people wouldn’t have to spend years feeling confused about something that, once you understand it, actually makes sense. Inside our free community, this is one of the things people say they’re most relieved to finally hear out loud: that they’re not too sensitive, they’re not imagining it, and they’re definitely not the only ones who feel this way.

Your emotions are allowed to be big. Learning to tell them apart from what you’ve absorbed isn’t about feeling less. It’s about knowing, a little more clearly each time, which feelings are actually yours to carry forward.

What’s one thing that helps you tell your own emotions apart from what you’ve picked up from someone else?

Frequently Asked Questions about Emotions in Empaths

Is being an empath the same as being a highly sensitive person (HSP)? Not exactly. Most empaths are also highly sensitive, but being an HSP is a broader trait involving sensitivity to sensory input, emotions, and subtleties in general, while being an empath specifically describes absorbing and feeling other people’s emotions as if they were your own.

Why do I get emotional when someone else is upset, even if it’s not about me? This is a common empath experience linked to a heightened mirror-neuron response. Your brain reacts to someone else’s emotional state almost the same way it would react to your own, which is why their sadness or anger can genuinely register in your own body.

How can I stop absorbing negative emotions from others? You likely won’t stop absorbing them completely, since that’s part of how empaths are wired. What helps is building a regular grounding practice, like yoga, a grounding mat, or a few minutes of quiet reflection, so you can notice absorbed emotion sooner and let it move through you instead of holding onto it.

Is it normal to feel emotionally drained after being around certain people? Yes, very. If you regularly feel exhausted or “not yourself” after specific interactions, that’s often a sign you’ve absorbed emotional energy that wasn’t yours to begin with.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• The Ultimate ‘Pick Yourself Back Up’ Guide For Empaths
• Am I An Empath? 8 Powerful Ways To Accept And Embrace The Label
• 5 Tips On How To Create A Solid Personal Growth Plan
• Is A Highly Sensitive Person The Same As An Empath?
• Can A Highly Sensitive Person Build A Career In Construction?

Disclaimer: In this article, we collaborated with AI while writing articles, meaning that we used it as a personal assistant to provide valuable information to our readers. The personal touch through stories and personal examples and the editing of the article have been performed by the author.

The post Understanding and Managing Your Emotions as an Empath appeared first on HiSensitives.

Practicing self-love matters because it directly shapes your happiness, your choices, and how well you can advocate for your own needs — and for most people, it’s a skill built through small daily habits, not a one-time realization. This guide covers why it matters and how to start.

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes

Self-love is a term that doesn’t get the attention it deserves. You have been taught to prioritize others’ needs before your own and put yourself last on the list in society.

I myself felt guilty to love myself for a long time. It wasn’t until I recently started reading ‘Madly in love with me‘, that I realized how many untrue beliefs about self-love I carried with me.

Before, I used to feel selfish for loving myself. Moreover, I thought that I’d be narcissistic if I’d put my own needs first. However, I came to the realization that in order to be able to love others, I need to love myself first.

The truth of the matter is that if you don’t love yourself first, no one will be able to love you the way you need to. After all, if you don’t know how to love yourself, how should others know that? This blog post will provide insight into why practicing self-love should be one of your top priorities.

Also, I’ll share practical tips on where to start your journey towards loving yourself more. Let’s start with the reasons why you should love yourself more, starting today.

Ready to go beyond tips? Somatics for Self-Love turns this into a structured practice built specifically for highly sensitive people.

#1 Self-Love Brings Balance To Your Lifestyle

The first reason why practicing self-love should be one of your top priorities is that it brings balance to your lifestyle. When you stop putting yourself last and start giving more attention to what you want, everyone around you will benefit from the happiness that radiates off of you.

Also, practicing self-love should be one of your top priorities as it can help fight against depression and other kinds of love addiction. Love gives us a sense of purpose and makes life feel less meaningless when we internal struggle with our own demons. In addition, loving ourselves allows others in our lives to love us back even more profoundly as well!

#2 Improves Overall Happiness

The second reason why practicing self-love should be one of your top priorities is because it improves overall happiness. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are being selfish, rather the opposite actually!

When we put ourselves out there and show our true selves to others, they will learn what makes us happy as well, which in return creates a more joyful life for everyone around us.

Self-love is something many people struggle with but also take for granted on an everyday basis. The benefits of putting yourself first far outweigh the benefits of people-pleasing and putting others first all the time.

#3 It Helps You Determine What You Want From Life

The third reason why practicing self-love should be one of your top priorities is because it helps you determine what you want from life.

Taking time for yourself and reflecting on the question “what do I really want?” is an essential step in figuring out where your true happiness lies. In addition, when you have a better understanding of what makes you happy, it becomes easier to achieve your goals and dreams.

Self-love comes in many different forms for everyone, so whether that’s spending time with loved ones or taking care of yourself physically, make sure to put your own feelings first while prioritizing others at the same time!

#4 Empower You To Make Better Choices

The fourth reason why practicing self-love should be one of your top priorities is because it empowers you to make better choices. When we love ourselves, even the smallest decisions become easier and more enjoyable, which in turn makes them feel less like a chore than they did before!

If there’s ever any question about what you want out of life or how to get there, look within yourself for the answers instead of looking at others around you.

Self-love helps us take control over our lives again while also breaking away from unhealthy relationships that are holding us back; this applies whether that relationship is with someone else or with something inside ourselves (i.e., negative thoughts). Self-love isn’t always easy, but when practicing every day, finding happiness becomes much simpler!

How To Start Practicing Self-Love In Daily Life

Now that you’ve become aware of the reasons why practicing self-love is crucial, let’s find out where to start your self-love journey.

You already took the first hurdle; you realized that it is time to start putting yourself first. Well done! Now that you are aware of this, it’s time to dive deeper. Here are 3 practical tips to start loving yourself today!

#1 Become Aware Of Your Negative Self-Talk

Something that helped me to love myself more, is to identify my negative self-talk. Oftentimes, highly sensitive people and empaths are incredibly harsh on themselves.

While they are the kindest people towards others, they tend to be incredibly self-critical. This oftentimes results in negative self-talk. Think about inner thoughts such as ‘I am not good enough’, or ‘I am less than others’.

For me, it helped to ask myself the question ‘Would I say this to somebody else’? If the answer is no, you shouldn’t say it to yourself either. You should be your biggest supporter!

Therefore, try to become aware of your own negative self-talk. Sit down and write down all the negative beliefs you hold about yourself. Also, try to become very aware of where those beliefs stem from.

Quite often, there are specific situations in your past that initially placed those beliefs about yourself in you. Understanding those situations, healing them, and doing the necessary shadow work can help you to overcome the limiting beliefs associated with those situations.

#2 ‘Counterattack’ Your Limiting Beliefs With Positive Self-Talk

After becoming aware of your negative self-talk and patterns, try to rephrase them into positive phrases instead. For instance, the belief ‘I am not good enough’ could become ‘I am good just the way I am and don’t need to change’.

Whenever you notice a limiting belief popping up in your mind, try to ‘counterattack’ it immediately with positive self-talk. Just like a friend would comfort you, start comforting yourself by repeating that phrase.

In the beginning, you may feel a bit strange doing so. Also, you may not believe yourself while repeating positive self-talk. After all, your mind was wired to believe the negative belief. However, do not let that stop you from doing this exercise.

Keep repeating the positive self-talk every time you notice negative thoughts about yourself. Love yourself and if you feel comfortable, even hug yourself or hold your own hand. If it comforts you and strengthens the positive belief, it is a very good thing to do!

After doing this for a while, you’ll notice that the negative self-talk will become less and less.

#3 Find The Right Tools To Start Practicing Self-Love

As society programmed all of us to believe that we should never put ourselves first, practicing self-love can feel quite challenging to you.

Therefore, do not hesitate to find valuable resources to support you in your self-love journey. I already mentioned the ‘Madly in love with ME‘-book, which is an incredible resource for your self-love journey.

Also, you may want to consider downloading a great affirmation app that sends you positive affirmations (selected by you) as reminders throughout the day. For instance, I am a big fan of the ‘Affirm It’ app, which has a simple layout and is very user-friendly.

Finally, a good journal is highly recommended in your self-love journey. Here, you can write yourself love letters, do your shadow work and reflect on everything going on within you. It is the perfect way to be your own best friend and practice self-love. For instance, you may want to purchase the self-love journal, which is highly popular on Amazon.

Self-Love Doesn’t Happen Overnight

On a final note, it is important to realize that self-love does not happen overnight. The first step is to realize that self-love is needed, which you just did! Congratulations!

With the tips suggested in this article, you can embark on a journey towards loving yourself more. It is a very personal journey and each person experiences self-love differently. Therefore, find ways to love yourself that work the best for YOU! After all, that’s what matters the most!

Ready to go beyond these tips? Somatics for Self-Love turns this into a structured practice built specifically for highly sensitive people.

How do you feel about self-love? Do you struggle with it? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Radical Self-Love Guide For Highly Sensitive People And Empaths
• Do You Know Your Self Care Love Language?
• The Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide For Empaths
• 4 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Smile More Often

The post Why Practicing Self-Love Should Be One Of Your Top Priorities appeared first on HiSensitives.

Radical self-love, for highly sensitive people and empaths, means treating your own needs and emotions with the same care you’d offer someone else — not as an occasional treat, but as a daily practice. This guide covers the signs you’re overdue for it and practical methods to start.

When I was 22 I discovered that I am a highly sensitive person and empath. It was at a challenging moment in my life, as I spent time recovering from some past traumas during therapy.

Somehow, I just could not seem to be as happy as ‘everyone else’. Oftentimes, I felt anxious, worried and overwhelmed. Self-love was a term I didn’t know at that time. All I could do was to give my love and friendliness to others. They were on top of my priority list.

My therapist brought up that I may be a highly sensitive person and empath. Also, she mentioned that it may be time for me to put self-love first. Before that conversation, I convinced myself that self-love was selfish and egoistic. Nonetheless, it was a false perception of my ego in order to keep me small and insecure. Because that’s where the ego thrives.

After therapy I realized that my therapist may be onto something and dove into the topic radical self-love. For the past 7 years, I discovered all types of techniques that help me to love myself more.

Something I realized in this self-love journey, is that highly sensitive people and empaths have different needs when it comes to self-love. Due to our increased sensitivity and empathy, we process input differently compared to less sensitive people. Moreover, we require more downtime in order to truly thrive.

Therefore, I created this special radical self-love guide for highly sensitive people and empaths. Hopefully, it helps you to develop a deeper, more loving relationship with yourself.

If self-love has always felt more like a nice idea than a daily practice, Somatics for Self-Love gives you body-based practices to actually build it, not just think about it.

What Is Radical Self-Love For Highly Sensitive People And Empaths?

Generally speaking, radical self-love is the act of loving yourself to a degree where you understand that who you are is more than enough. Moreover, you are fully aware that you are good enough, despite eventual flaws and shortcomings. Instead of bashing yourself over and over again for past mistakes, you embrace them with love and patience.

Practicing radical self-love helps you to feel content and calm in life. It provides you with the ability to appreciate yourself. No matter where you are in your personal growth journey.

Radical self-love for highly sensitive people and empaths means embracing your sensitivity and extraordinary abilities and investing in yourself. Oftentimes, we tend to look at our shortcomings. For example, I remember always feeling bad about not being able to keep up with ‘the rest’. Also, I struggled to relax and take time for myself to recharge (while ‘the rest’ worked inhumane hours). This was something I felt incredibly guilty about.

We who are highly sensitive people and empaths need to realize something important. To be specific, that radical self-love is our key towards fulfillment and happiness in life. By taking care of our own needs first, we will have more energy and joy. This helps us when we want to help others with our gifts.

Common Signs That You Need Radical Self-Love In Your Life

I can imagine that you wonder whether you actually need radical self-love. Perhaps, your mind and ego continuously try to convince you that self-love is selfish and bad. Moreover, you may be unaware that radical self-love is the solution to some of your current challenges. Therefore, I summarized some of the common signs of a lack of self-love amongst highly sensitive people and empaths for you below.

Low Self-Esteem

One of the most common signs of a lack of self-love amongst highly sensitive people and empaths is low self-esteem. For instance, you may compare yourself to others and measure your self-worth based on what they are doing.

Seeking Validation From The Outside

Another common sign that you should practice self-love is that you oftentimes seek validation from others. Rather than believing your own thoughts about yourself, you ask others what they think of you and everything you do.

People-pleasing

Because of the need to seek validation from others, people-pleasing is a common sign that you lack self-love as well. Do you put others needs in front of yours all the time? This may be a clear sign that you should invest more time in radical self-love.

Feeling Overwhelmed And Stressed Out

Highly sensitive people and empaths who lack self-love oftentimes experience feelings of overwhelm and stress. Because of their people-pleasing tendencies, they give everything they have to others instead of themselves. As a result, they pour from an empty cup. Consequently, this results in feeling overwhelmed and stressed out.

Strong Inner Critic

Do you oftentimes experience negative self-talk where you bash yourself unnecessarily? A strong inner critic is a sign that you should invest more time in radical self-love. Because highly sensitive people and empaths tend to overthink, a strong inner critic can easily take over our inner talk.

Struggling With Believing Compliments

Highly sensitive people and empaths who need self-love often struggle with receiving compliments. Although they seek validation from the outside, hearing that validation and internalizing it is challenging for them. As they do not believe what they hear, it can be tough for them to accept the kind words and actually believe them.

Radical Self-Love Methods For Highly Sensitive People And Empaths

Did you relate to some of the signs above? Then this is your sign to start practicing radical self-love. Below, you can find 7 ways to practice self-love as a highly sensitive person and empath.

#1 Heal Your Past Traumas

Looking back at my own self-love journey, it began at the time I started working on healing my traumas. As mentioned, I started therapy when I was 22 years old. It was there I uncovered the things I did not want to look at previously. For example, I faced bad memories from my time in elementary school and wounds from past, non-healthy relationships. It was incredibly confronting and at first I felt as if I was feeling worse.

However, experiencing heavy emotions when healing is very normal. In fact, it are all the suppressed emotions that you are feeling at that moment. Nonetheless, once you start feeling these emotions instead of resisting them, you will soon realize a lightness within you. The bottled-up emotions are gone and you can start to heal these wounds in a calm and conscious way.

Highly sensitive people and empaths who want to practice self-love benefit greatly from healing first. Instead of neglecting what you are feeling, you become authentically honest with yourself. Moreover, you begin to understand that a part of self-love is to embrace every part of yourself, also the dark aspects from your past.

Once you heal your wounds, your memories from the past along with the people in those memories will no longer have power over you. Finally, you will be in charge of how you feel about yourself. That is the first step towards radical self-love.

#2 Understand Why You’re Here

Once you have uncovered bad memories and started your healing journey, it may be interesting for you to ask yourself the following question: “Why am I here?”

This is a deep question that many people wonder about. Every person enters this planet for a reason. Moreover, you are here to fulfill your life’s purpose. But what is that purpose? How do you know what you are destined to be in this life?

Highly sensitive people and empaths have a tendency to think deeply and seek a higher purpose in life, so this question may be very interesting for us to investigate. When I started healing, discovering my higher purpose became more and more important to me.

The only place you can find an answer to that question is within you. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s the truth. Your ‘system’ will tell you where to go in life. Once you find your ‘one thing’, your body will show you that you are on the right path. You will feel a sense of inner peace, excitement, and fulfillment when you have discovered your higher purpose.

Something that truly helped me in confirming that I am on the right path, is to look at my Human Design chart. When I discovered it, it amazed me to see that I am already doing many of the things I am ‘designed’ to do in this life. It was a nice confirmation to have that I am on the right path.

Living according to your life purpose is the ultimate act of self-love. You do something that you are good at, that you love, that the worlds needs, and that you can get paid for.

#3 Identify Your Self-Talk

One of the biggest blockages for practicing radical self-love is negative self-talk. Many of us struggle with a strong inner critic. However, this often is an unconscious voice in your mind. A voice that runs on auto-pilot.

For me, it was a real eye-opener to identify my inner self-talk. In cooperation with my coach, I visualized everything I was telling myself on a daily basis with this self-talk exercise.

Inner Self-Talk Exercise

In this exercise, you identify the different things you tell yourself and place them on a bus. The thoughts that you hear the most, you place in the front seats of your bus. Consequently, you add the more silent thoughts further back in the bus.

It is a very confronting task that I experienced to be deeply emotional. I was surprised to see that the loudest thoughts in my mind were negative things such as ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘I don’t deserve happiness’.

Once you realize which stories you keep repeating about yourself, you can start to decondition your mind and give these thoughts less power. Does that mean you will never struggle with negative self-talk again? No. However, by becoming aware of your inner talk, you can tackle it at the core.

How To Stop Inner Self-Talk

Instead of running negative thoughts on auto play, you now stop them once you become aware of them. In those moments, acknowledge them by thinking:

“I notice that I am thinking thought X. This is a thought from moment X and does not relate to the present moment. Thank you mind, for trying to protect me.’

Why the last sentence? Oftentimes, negative thoughts are trying to protect us. Because they are linked to a negative situation, your mind will start relating new, exciting, and perhaps similar situations to that past experience. Therefore, once your mind acknowledges certain patterns from the past, it will do everything in its power to stop you from that ‘danger’ again.

How? Through negative self-talk! Why? Because it works! It is how we are wired, especially when we are highly sensitive people. However, this mechanism oftentimes keeps us in our comfort zone, where growth rarely happens.

Therefore, repeat the sentence above when you notice negative thoughts. Stop the thought at the core by acknowledging it and telling yourself that this thought relates to your past. This way, you will notice more self-love within and dare to take more risks in the future.

#4 Practice Self-Affirmation

Earlier in this article, I stated that a common sign of a lack of self-love is the need to seek validation outward. In order to break that pattern and start practicing self-love, highly sensitive people and empaths can apply self-affirmations in their daily lives.

This is an incredibly powerful method to use in combination with tackling negative self-talk. However, we don’t only use self-affirmations when struggling with negative thoughts. We also apply them as a habit in our daily life.

Think about the things that currently make you feel the most insecure. Write all of them down. Once you have created a list of all these insecurities, start to create positive affirmations.

For example, if you think that you always lack money, replace it with the powerful affirmation: “I attract money and am financially abundant.”

Throughout the day, repeat your positive affirmations to yourself and feel the positive energy of those statements. For example, put up an affirmation on your bathroom mirror and repeat it to yourself loudly whenever you look in the mirror.

Also, you could download an affirmation app like ‘Affirm it’ to receive notifications of your positive affirmations on your phone at random moments of the day, week, and month. I find this method to be incredibly powerful to focus on maintaining a positive attitude and staying resilient. Additionally, affirmations have strengthened my love for myself.

#5 Set Healthy (Energetic) Boundaries

As highly sensitive people and empaths, we are more receptive to feeling the energies of others. Our empathic side sometimes even wants to carry these energies for other people in order to make them feel better. However, it is not our place to take over energies.

Yes, we can feel them in our bodies, but it is important to return these energies to the sender at the end of the day. This is called setting healthy energetic boundaries.

Returning and reclaiming energy

One of the self-love methods you as an empath or highly sensitive person can try is to visualize where you want to feel the energies of others.

I, for example, put one hand around my other hand’s wrist and repeat to myself, that negative energy only is allowed to be felt in my hands. This way, I can still help people by attuning to their needs, but not take over their heavy energy in my entire body. After trying this method and encountering negative energies, I felt a tingling feeling in my hands. It was amazing to see how that energetic boundary worked.

Moreover, try to always return energy to its rightful owner by the end of the day. You can intentionally do so by tuning into your body and feel the places where it feels like you are holding onto energy that isn’t yours. Visualize how you pull the energy out of that place, like pulling weeds out of the ground in your garden. Visualize how you return the energy to its owner.

In addition, it is wise to call back energy that you have given out throughout the day. It is important for you to disconnect from any connections that may be draining you. If you find this challenging, you may want to give this meditation a try:

In the end, setting healthy energetic boundaries is a major act of self-love and self-respect. For me, it was a life changing insight that helped me to take better care of myself and ultimately love myself more.

If you struggle with negative, or toxic people in your life, you may want to discover the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators’.

#6 Learn To Reduce Anxiety

Highly sensitive people especially often struggle with anxious feelings. Due to their heightened activity in their amygdala – the part of the brain responsible for freeze, flight & fight reactions – HSP’s often are anxious. Hence, a major aspect of self-love for highly sensitive people and empaths struggling with anxiety is to learn how to reduce anxious feelings.

There are many ways to become a less anxious person, but I found EFT – the emotional freedom technique – to be particularly useful. Within EFT, you tap on acupressure points on your body. By doing so, you send signals to your brain to calm down and tell it that the situation is safe. Oftentimes, EFT goes paired with using specific statements while tapping.

In this video, you will learn how to do EFT tapping on yourself when you are anxious:

#7 Rest And Recharge Without Guilt

Highly sensitive people and empaths need to rest and recharge more frequently compared to less sensitive people. However, I know from my own experiences and those of the Ideal Self Plus members, that this can be a tricky one.

In society, resting is looked at as unproductive and lazy. Preferably, everybody works crazy hours in order to keep the money machine going. However, this is an outdated way of living. Humans are not designed to live this way. Sadly, many people are driven by ego and do not understand that.

It is easy to want to follow the crowd and neglect your own needs in order to fit in. However, there is a big risk that you will eventually burn out. Remember that we are not designed to live life at that pace.

Therefore, one of the most radical self-love methods is to be kind to yourself and rest and recharge without guilt. By listening to your body and resting when it tells you to rest, you will be way more productive and happy, than if you neglect those needs.

For example, while writing this blog, I noticed halfway that I became tired. Instead of pushing through and finishing the blog with low energy, I meditated and took a power nap first. Afterward, my words easily flew into this article, because I took time to rest.

If I would have continued writing while I was tired, it probably would have taken me three times longer to finish, because inspiration does not come from a place of exhaustion. Moreover, you as a reader would have felt that my energy was off. Energy is transferred in many ways, also through words. Hence, rest without guilt.

The Self-Love Journey For Highly Sensitive People And Empaths Begins Here

If self-love has always felt more like a nice idea than a daily practice, the HiSensitives masterclass Somatics for Self-Love gives you body-based practices for HSPs to actually build it, not just think about it.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey towards more self-love and hope to connect with you on our socials and inside our membership!

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Why Practicing Self-Love Should Be One Of Your Top Priorities
• Struggling With Negative Self-Talk? Try This Simplistic Approach!
• 60 Signs That You Are A Highly Sensitive Person
• Do You Know Your Self Care Love Language?

The post Radical Self-Love Guide For Highly Sensitive People And Empaths appeared first on HiSensitives.

Finding inner peace as a highly sensitive person usually comes down to a few core shifts: setting boundaries with what’s draining you, processing old hurt instead of pushing it away, and catching destructive thought patterns before they spiral. This guide walks through 5 practical tips for building that from the ground up.

Estimated reading time: 19 minutes

My entire life, I have been struggling with the feeling of being on an emotional rollercoaster. One day, I would feel like I am on top of the world and I could tackle anything, while the other day, I would feel incredibly depressed and sad. Somehow, I couldn’t find out how to be emotionally balanced and find inner peace.

In recent years, I have changed that. Although I know that it can be tough for highly sensitive people to not feel overwhelmed all the time, I was and still am sure that we can manage to find inner peace with the right tools and knowledge. Therefore, I have been working tremendously on my mental and physical health in the past year and in this blog, I share practical tips that help me to feel more peaceful from within.

Inner peace isn’t a one-time fix, it’s an ongoing practice: Mental Detox for the Highly Sensitive Mind gives you a structured way to keep clearing the mental clutter this guide talks about.

Want To Find Inner Peace? Cut Ties With Everything That Is Holding You Back!

One of the first things that helped me in my journey to find inner peace, was to let go of everything that caused me to feel worthless, insecure or negatively stressed out in any kind of way. Perhaps, a specific thing, situation or person immediately pops into your mind when you are reading this. That is a sign that you should let it go. It is your gut and intuition reacting! 

For example, you might have someone in your social circle that is holding you back and making you feel bad about yourself, or you might be stuck in a job that limits your growth. Or are you in a relationship that seems one-sided and makes you feel incredibly unhappy? All of these external factors have major influence on your happiness and block your way to find inner peace. Your intuition knows and it most likely has been telling you for a while, but most of us tend to neglect our intuition for far too long until things escalate.

When I started cutting ties with everything and everyone that held me back in my growth, I did so on two levels:

Physically

When you are planning to cut ties with things that no longer serve your growth, you might want to start out at the physical level, as the effect of this often is felt immediately. When you discover that you no longer want to feel a certain way, make a plan on how to change that. A few examples;

1. In a friendship that no longer is making (both of) you happy? Cut ties! Do so gently, thank each other for the good years together and wish each other well.
2. At a job that doesn’t serve your growth? Cut ties! Of course, make sure that you have a good plan for what to do after quitting your job. After all we all have bills to pay, right?
3. In a relationship that makes you (both) feel miserable? Cut ties! Break up, start your path to find inner peace and enjoy the fact that you get to work on your growth now without interference from your partner. You can literally go anywhere and do anything you want!
4. Living in a house/apartment that makes you feel overwhelmed? Cut ties! Search for a new place that is making you feel happier. You are not a tree, you can move wherever you want!

I know, I know, easier said than done! Usually, our brains immediately trick us into thinking in problems rather than solutions. Try to ask yourself; But what if things WILL work out? Make a list of the things that could go well and look at it whenever that little voice called ‘doubt’ enters your mind.

Spiritually

Once you disconnected from physical blockages, you can start to identify your spiritual blockages. These are connections that no longer serve you. You know, those thoughts from the past about people or situations that upset you every time you think about it? Although it is good to deal with your pain from the past (I’ll get to that soon!), some of the pain you have inside you, isn’t yours.

If you are a highly sensitive empath, you might experience that you absorb other people’s emotions and feelings. Often, you do this unconsciously in order to be able to help them better. You literally take over some of their emotional pain. However, many empaths don’t return it afterwards and take it home with them. Sometimes, they hold on to it even years after cutting ties with someone physically. That is when you start to develop these blockages that start to ache after a while. Time to let it go and cut ties!

You might want to try out a ‘cut the rope’-ceremony, as described in this article. If you want to dig deeper in relation to this topic, the book ‘Self-care for the Self-Aware: A guide for highly sensitive people, empaths, intuitives, and healers’ might be a good read for you.

Accept Hurt From The Past And Don’t Push It Away

Once you have cut ties with all external factors that upset you and the internal blockages that weren’t yours to carry, you can start on healing your inner child. When I first started my healing journey, I applied many techniques from Positive Psychology, like gratitude, meditation and thinking 3 positive thoughts for each negative one. 

While I love Positive Psychology, it can be misinterpreted in a sense that you always have to be or feel positive. I know I interpreted it like this for a while. While the above mentioned techniques did wonders for me to feel courageous about my career and all the opportunities ahead of me, they did not take away the pain that I felt from past traumas. In fact, they pushed the pain away instead of enabling me to feel it.

Therefore, my second advice is to accept the hurt from your past and to feel it whenever you have to. It is not a bad thing to sometimes have a bad day and feel whatever you have to feel at that moment. Don’t feel guilty about taking this essential moment for yourself. In this way, you can embark on your healing journey and find inner peace. I know it is easier said than done and sometimes you can’t seem to feel less pain. That is when the following advice might be relevant for you.

Know When To Seek Help!

Seek help! If you feel stuck in your past and can’t seem to work it through on your own, don’t be ashamed or afraid to seek help. There are many different ways to seek help. If you are like me, you preferably want to give it a try on your own first. For this, you might want to try journalling. Write about what happened to you and then again, write about what you wrote down. Write as much as you need, to process what has happened in your past, that upsets you today. 

Sometimes, journalling isn’t enough. For me, that was the case. In order to find inner peace, I went to see a therapist to work through my traumas and learn how to understand them. Together with her, I went through my life history, cried, felt upset about things she said (only to realize that they were true a while later) and most of all, I healed. By ripping open the wounds that were hidden away for so many years, I could heal. And it felt good. 

Therefore, if you truly want to find inner peace and you have some traumas that you haven’t dealt with yet, I recommend you to dare to open up these wounds and heal them properly. It will definitely support your personal growth, believe me!

Acknowledge Destructive Thought Patterns

Once I identified my traumas and all the thoughts that origin from them, I could identify my destructive thought patterns. I finally understood where my perfectionism and lack of self-worth came from, along with all the thoughts associated to the experiences I have had. This knowledge and awareness has helped me greatly in my personal growth.

However, you don’t specifically have to go into therapy to identify your thought patterns. For instance, you might want to try these techniques;

1. Cognitive defusion (CDef): Step back from your negative thoughts and observe them rather than being swept up by them. Acknowledge that many of our thoughts aren’t reality.
2. Journalling; Again, journalling is a wonderful tool to identify certain thoughts that continuously enter your mind. When you feel upset, grab your journal and write down everything you are thinking about yourself in that moment. Most likely, many of your negative thought patterns will pop up in negative kind of situations. In this way a negative situation contributes positively to your personal growth.

How To Tackle These Thought Patterns

Once you have identified your negative thought patterns, you might want to try out these two methods;

1. ‘Thank your mind’: Act as if your mind is a rebellious teenager, and thank it sarcastically for creating these thoughts in your mind. Belittle these destructive thoughts.
2. ‘Name it to tame it’: Once you acknowledged some of your thought patterns and story lines, give them names. This technique was invented by Dr. Daniel Siegel. Basically, by naming your negative thought patterns, you are more aware of them once they occur. For example, I named my insecure thought patterns ‘Mr. Fear’. Mr. Fear does not like change and therefore, he places insecure thoughts in my mind that prevent me from growth. You get it? Name your thought patterns and see how much more aware of them you will become.

Feed Your Brain With Knowledge And New Mind Techniques

So, you’ve cleared your mind, identified what is holding you back and now you are ready to grow! For that you need to feed your brain with as much knowledge as possible! Read articles, buy personal growth books, connect with people who inspire you and learn from them, start taking that online course you have been doubting about and do everything in your power to grow. 

The times in my life I did not invest in my personal growth, were also the times where I felt the most miserable didn’t make any progress in life. However, once I grab a book that sparks joy within me, I get that spirit that helps me to set new, exciting steps needed to feel inner peace and happiness! Also, it is a quick way to recharge your energy.

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone (If It Doesn’t Feel That Comfortable Anymore)

That excitement I mentioned above, motivates me to step out of my comfort zone. In an earlier blog, I explained extensively how the comfort zone works. The thing with the comfort zone is, that we want to stay in it, because we know what is going on there. However, many of us actually are unhappy in that same comfort zone! Therefore, in order to feel happier, find inner peace and live a better life, you need to step out of that comfort zone every now and then. Fun fact; I stepped out of my comfort zone and wrote this blog instead of laying down on the couch and bingewatching my newest favorite Netflix show! Why? I was triggered by a book that I read about taking action even when you don’t immediately feel motivated.

So when you feel that you are in your comfort zone and afraid to step out of it, read a good book or do something that triggers your spirit. Then, immediately take one step out of your comfort zone. It sparks motivation within you to do this more often, trust me!

Ultimately, stepping out of your comfort zone and discovering what truly makes you happy will contribute greatly to finding inner peace. Therefore, dare to change your life by applying the techniques mentioned above.

Inner peace isn’t a one-time fix, it’s an ongoing practice: Mental Detox for the Highly Sensitive Mind gives you a structured way to keep clearing the mental clutter this guide talks about.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• 7 Ways That Self-love Helps Conquer Feelings of Overwhelm
• Change Your Life As A Highly Sensitive Empath With These 3 Wisdoms
• Feeling Unhappy About Your Life? Change Direction Today!

The post How To Find Inner Peace As A Highly Sensitive Person appeared first on HiSensitives.

If phrases like “you’re too sensitive” or “you need thicker skin” sound familiar, you may be a highly sensitive person (HSP), someone whose nervous system processes sensory and emotional input more deeply than average, estimated at 15-20% of the population. Below are 60 common signs, from overthinking and easy overwhelm to strong intuition and a deep love of art and nature. You don’t need to relate to all 60 to be an HSP.

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Estimated reading time: 32 minutes

I am so excited to share this blog with you! HSP coach Tiara Ariel and I have combined our strengths to put together this extensive list of signs that you are a highly sensitive person. Based on our own insights from working with and for HSP’s and input from scientific studies we have created this massive list.

If you are anything like me, you have felt like an outsider or different from others for most part of your life. For a long time, you couldn’t make sense of it and perhaps you still can’t. Therefore, I hope that after reading this blog you will be able to understand why you are feeling the way you feel. Perhaps you will discover that you are highly sensitive. Find out by browsing through this extensive list of signs that you are a highly sensitive person.

And while you’re here, make sure to check out our free boundary tracker printable for highly sensitive people!

The 60 Signs That You Are A Highly Sensitive Person

Below, you can find the 60 signs that you might be a highly sensitive person. In the table below, you can directly navigate to the sections that intrigue you.

1. Overthinking

Because of their depth of processing external stimuli, highly sensitive people have a tendency to overthink a lot. Therefore, at times it might feel like you can’t turn off your thoughts. 

Moreover, you might struggle to fall asleep in the evening because your thoughts won’t shut off. 

Oftentimes, highly sensitive people also lay awake in the middle of the night because of their thoughts. These can be thoughts about the past day, thoughts about the future or even thoughts where you obsess about tiny details from the far past.

Hence, overthinking is one of the common sights that you are a highly sensitive person. If you are struggling with a loud and busy mind, you may want to read the book ‘Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts‘.

2. Often Tired

One of the consequences of deep processing and overthinking everything, is that you might feel tired and exhausted all the time. 

Even after 8 full hours of sleep you might wake up and wonder what is wrong with you. Actually, I do this all the time.

Because you process everything so very deeply, you also need more time to rest during the night and throughout the day. This can be challenging for many highly sensitive people in this fast-paced society.

3. Easily Stressed

One of the signs that you are a highly sensitive person is that you tend to feel easily stressed.

As mentioned, highly sensitive people need more rest compared to less sensitive people. Accordingly, packed schedules and many tasks on the to do-list tend to stress out the highly sensitive person easily.

In addition, highly sensitive people are known to be conflict-avoiding and they care deeply about the expectations of others. As a consequence, they hate letting others down and when they sense that this is the case, this can cause great stress within them.

Finally, because of their ability to pick up the tiniest changes in their environment, this can cause great stress when their senses are stimulated in a non-pleasing way. For instance, think about sudden changes in noise levels or brighter lights.

Struggling with stress? The book ‘The Self Care Prescription: Powerful Solutions to Manage Stress, Reduce Anxiety & Increase Wellbeing’ may help you to cope with stress and increase your overall wellbeing as a highly sensitive person.

4. Not Functioning Well When Being Observed

Highly sensitive people are some of the most productive and capable employees you can find. 

While they are performing amazingly when working in a HSP-friendly, calm environment – preferably on their own-, they might function poorly when being observed.

Being observed causes them to feel stressed by the expectations of the others and as you may know, one of the worst fears of an HSP is to let others down. 

Accordingly, this fear for disappointing others causes highly sensitive people to actually perform worse while being observed.

5. Emotional Intensity

Do you sometimes feel that you experience certain emotions more deeply than others? This is one of the signs that you are a highly sensitive person.

In fact, studies show that highly sensitive people are known to process emotions more deeply. Accordingly, they feel emotions more intensely.

This can be a true gift in good times and feel like a curse in bad times. Therefore, it is incredibly important for highly sensitive people to manage emotional regulation.

For example, you might consider to try EFT tapping (emotional freedom therapy). Here is an interesting video upon EFT tapping:

6. Feeling Out Of Place

Because highly sensitive people experience the world differently compared to less sensitive people, they might feel out of place many times.

Society is mostly fast and busy, as less sensitive people seem to have less problems with that pace. However, highly sensitive people might feel out of place and the desire to slow down more often.

Consequently, this different need can cause them to feel different and like ‘the weird kid’. Know that it is completely normal to be highly sensitive and that there is nothing wrong with wanting to live a slower lifestyle.

7. Self-Conscious

Highly sensitive people have a tendency to overthink everything around them – including themselves and their own actions. Hence, the common highly sensitive person is rather self-conscious.

Because of their strong sense of self-consciousness, highly sensitive people often look at ways to improve themselves and grow on a personal level. Also, they tend to reflect in-depth about how they come across to other people.

Therefore, that is why I started HiSensitives together with my fiancé Riny; to support highly sensitive people’s need for personal growth.

8. Extremely Empathic

Highly sensitive people have a heightened amount of mirror neurons in their brain. Mirror neurons enable people to emphasize and feel the pain of others more deeply. 

Accordingly, highly sensitive people often are extremely empathic. As a result, they care deeply about everyone and everything around them and feel other people’s emotions as if they were their own.

If you’d like to learn more about empathy, here’s an interesting video for you:

9. Fear Of Rejection

Due to their extremely empathic nature, highly sensitive people might experience a strong fear of being rejected by others. Especially highly sensitive introverts, who often are labelled as shy, might experience this fear strongly. 

This fear can show itself in the strangest ways: for example by being afraid to raise your hand and speak up – even if you know you have the right answer.

Another way this fear of rejection can show itself is when you are afraid to share your opinion with someone you disagree with, out of fear of being rejected by them.

If you are struggling with a strong fear of rejection, this book may be an inspiring read for you: ‘Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection’

10. Fear Of Failure

Another common fear amongst highly sensitive people is the fear of failure. Because they have a tendency to care so very deeply about everything they take on, the fear of it failing can truly eat us up.

In worst cases, the fear of failure within a highly sensitive person is so strong, that they don’t even dare to take on new projects or give their new dream a chance. To elaborate, the idea that it might fail horrifies a highly sensitive person.

11. Feeling Misunderstood By Others

Do you have a tendency to feel misunderstood by others? Either in relation to how you perceive your environment or how you feel about certain situations? This is one of the common signs that you are a highly sensitive person. 

One thing I recognize often in the HSP community is that before highly sensitive people understand that they are highly sensitive, they feel like ‘the weird kid’. For example, they might feel like they are the only ones in the world experiencing things intensely or different.

However, once you know for sure that you are part of the HSP club, the feeling of being misunderstood will decrease. Finally you will find your people who get it. Who are the same. It will feel like a true relief to you. I know I felt that way.

12. Disliking Loud Noises

Studies show that highly sensitive people process sensory stimulation more intensely. Hence, their senses are heightened and they are more easily overwhelmed by sensory input.

For instance, one type of sensory input that can feel overwhelming to highly sensitive people, are loud noises. Or even worse: loud, unexpected noises. 

Highly sensitive people struggle to function when they are in a noisy environment. Therefore, noise cancelling earbuds (affiliate link) are a highly sensitive person’s best friend.

13. Preferring Dim Lighting

Another result of being easily overwhelmed by sensory input, is that many highly sensitive people prefer dim lighting.

Because it is less overwhelming to their senses, dim lighting is a pleasant and cozy light source to the typical HSP.

14. Loving Art And Music

One of the signs that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you truly appreciate art and music. 

Consequently, you could just sit and listen to (calm) music for hours and feel the words and sounds in every fibre of your body.

The same goes for art; due to their deep sensory processing, beautiful art can trigger wonderful emotions within a highly sensitive person.

15. Loving Animals

A positive side effect of being highly empathic, is that highly sensitive people often love animals. 

Moreover, they can emphasize with their pure, innocent nature and often find comfort in their pets. Comfort, which they sometimes struggle to find within other people.

16. Loving Nature

Similar to being around animals, highly sensitive people seem to truly thrive when being in nature. For instance, a walk in the forest, on the beach or in the mountains can do wonders for their physical and mental health.

Why? Perhaps because the external stimuli from nature is more pleasant to them. No loud car sounds, construction sites and crowds of people. Paradise!

17. Deeply Caring

The empathic nature of a highly sensitive person often results in them caring deeply about everyone and everything around them.

Because of their caring personality, they sometimes struggle to realize that not everyone around them cares as deeply about things as they do. Hence, this can result in frustration and disappointment.

18. Perfectionistic

Highly sensitive people are known to have an incredible eye for detail. Because of that, they tend to be rather perfectionistic. 

Their perfectionism can be a strength in relation to their work, as it causes them to deliver projects of high quality. However, it can also slow them down and sometimes even result in unrealistic expectations towards themselves and never being satisfied with the outcome.

Here’s an incredible podcast upon the topic perfectionism.

19. Strong Inner Critic

Due to their overthinking tendencies, highly sensitive people often struggle with a strong inner critic. In addition, their challenges regarding dealing with criticism, causes their inner critic to remember every tiny bit of criticism they’ve ever received.

As a result, many highly sensitive people often are their own worst critic and almost bully themselves over the tiniest mistakes in their lives. If you struggle with a strong inner critic, this video might be interesting for you:

20. Wanting A Higher Purpose In Life (In Career)

Have you ever found yourself dreading to go to work, because you don’t see the point in doing that job? Most likely, that job was not meaningful enough to you. 

Studies have shown that highly sensitive people can’t just have a job to make money. Hence, their career must be meaningful and support their higher purpose in life.

21. Enjoying Small Things In Life Nobody Else Seems To Notice

One of the other signs that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you enjoy the small things in life which nobody else around you seems to take notice of.

Because highly sensitive people process and notice every tiny detail around them, they are able to notice these seemingly small and simple things.

Have you ever found yourself appreciating the smell of the rain, a light breeze on your skin or the sound of the wind whispering through the trees, while the person you were with was looking at you like you were crazy? Welcome to the world of a highly sensitive person.

Do you want to embrace the small things in life even more? This ’52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude’ may help you with that!

22. Thinking How The World Operates Right Now Is Too Fast, Competitive, And Multi-task Driven

One of the most common thoughts we notice in our community for highly sensitive people and empaths, is that they are struggling with the pace of (Western) society. For instance, they find it too fast, too focused on competition and struggle with the ideal of working on multiple tasks at the same time.

To demonstrate, ask a highly sensitive person about their dream life and they will most likely talk about a calm home (in nature), with a job that is stress-free and can be performed at their own pace.

23. Often Feeling Guilty

Feeling guilty about things that you say or do is one of the signs that you are a highly sensitive person. Most likely, this origins from the overthinking tendencies of the typical highly sensitive person.

Small discussions or signs that another person is displeased with a certain behavior might be overanalyzed by a highly sensitive person and hence result in feelings of guilt. 

Oftentimes, when you check in with the other person and tell them about your guilt, you will realize that there was no reason to feel guilty about anything in the first place.

If you have been struggling with feelings of guilt your entire life, the book ‘Let Go of the Guilt’ may be a good read for you.

24. Feeling ‘High Maintenance’

Because there are certain things that can result in overwhelm and overstimulation within a highly sensitive person, they might avoid specific situations.

Things that less sensitive people don’t seem to struggle with at all, might feel like a big deal to a highly sensitive person. For instance, think about the yearly weekend getaway with your husband’s entire family. All these people under one roof without a space to find silence, might be incredibly overstimulating for a highly sensitive person. 

Not being able to deal with these types of situations ‘normally’, can cause a highly sensitive person to feel high maintenance. 

However, know that being overwhelmed by certain situations is completely normal when you are highly sensitive and that there is no reason to be ashamed of it.

25. Hearing Phrases Such As “You Are Too Sensitive”

If you are highly sensitive, you most likely have heard one of the following phrases sooner or later in your life:

• “You are so needy”
• “You are too emotional”
• “Just get over it” 
• “Let it go”
• “You are taking things too personal”
• “You are too sensitive”

Do these sound familiar to you? If they do, chances are likely that they were said to you by less sensitive people and that you in fact are highly sensitive. 

Oftentimes, when highly sensitive people don’t know about their trait, they struggle to set healthy boundaries for themselves. Moreover, they push themselves to a level of emotional exhaustion and might occasionally experience ‘emotional overload’. It is often in those situations, when people feel justified to make one of those statements towards an HSP.

While it is not okay at all to be criticised like this, know that you will hear these types of statements less, once you find out how to set healthy boundaries for yourself and learn how to thrive as a highly sensitive person.

26. Very Creative

While no studies currently prove that highly sensitive people are more creative than less sensitive people, their depth of processing external input might result in creative output. However, this is only the case if the highly sensitive person has enough confidence to do so. 

So if you find that you are very creative, this might be a sign that you are highly sensitive. Therefore, once you join a couple of communities for highly sensitive people, you will realize that being creative is a common shared interest among HSP’s.

For instance, if you want to embrace your creativity as a highly sensitive person, the creativity journal ‘Creative Thinking Journal: fun, creative challenges designed to increase your creativity‘ may be what you are looking for!

27. Eye For Detail

Highly sensitive people are known to pay attention to detail. Therefore, they will notice the tiniest, most subtle changes in their environment or in the behavior of a person. 

Oftentimes, they see things which others tend to pass by without noticing.

28. Trying Hard To Be A Good Friend

One of the common signs that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you are trying hard to be a good friend. Oftentimes, you tend to remember the things that others seem to forget. 

When your friend is feeling down, you are doing everything to comfort them in a way that makes them happy. Due to your empathic nature, this comes naturally to you.

29. Worrying About What Others Think Of You

Because you are a highly sensitive empath who feels emotions of others rather easily, you preferably want to be liked by everyone. Therefore you care deeply about what others think of you.

Oftentimes, you might overthink the signals you receive from others and start worrying about whether you did something to upset them or to like you less. If you recognize this behaviour within yourself, this might be an interesting video for you:

30. Feeling Better After Time Alone In Your Own “Sacred” Space

Another sign that you are a highly sensitive person is that you feel like a new person after recharging in your ‘sacred’ space. This could be a cozy living room, your bathroom or your bedroom, depending on where you can relax the most.

This is not only the case for highly sensitive introverts, who prefer downtime alone. Also highly sensitive extroverts need to retreat to their own space to recharge their energy.

31. Preferring Your Own Bed And Home

One of the signs that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you prefer your home above anything else. Why? Because you have (hopefully) adapted your home to your needs. 

Dim lighting, cozy furniture, silent rooms and pleasant smells are one of the main reasons why you prefer your home above a fancy hotel room or staying at a friends house. In addition, a bed that fits your sleeping needs makes you prefer to sleep at home.

Even if you are a high sensation seeker and HSP, nothing beats coming home to your own four walls to recharge after a fun experience.

32. Feeling Better When You Are In Control Of Your Environment

Highly sensitive people might prefer to know what is going to happen around them, as they are easily startled by surprising sounds, lights or experiences. Therefore, they tend to prefer being in an environment which they know well. 

Of course a highly sensitive person is able to adapt to new situations too, but these will most likely overwhelm them greatly due to all the new external input. Hence, they might feel the need to recharge after such an experience.

33. Preferring Your Own Mode Of Transportation Instead Of Public Transport

Another subtle sign that you might be a highly sensitive person, is that you prefer your own transport above public transport. The reason is simple: public transport craves more of your energy.

All the people, the sounds and the smells can feel quite overwhelming to a highly sensitive person. External stimuli, which can be avoided by commuting on your own.

34. Easily Overwhelmed

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were easily overwhelmed? Chances are likely that this situation involved unpredictable, loud sounds, bright lights or too many people around you. 

This is a lot to take in for a highly sensitive person. Due to their depth of processing, the high amount of external stimulation can cause an HSP to feel overwhelmed more easily. 

Accordingly, highly sensitive people might not be the biggest fans of large crowds and events, simply because it overwhelms them to the max.

If overwhelm is a common struggle for you, you may want to discover the book ‘The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You’.

35. Relationships Can Be Intense And Challenging

Highly sensitive people and relationships can be a challenge if the partner, friend or relative does not understand what being a highly sensitive person means. Also, somebody close who does not acknowledge the trait can feel challenging for a highly sensitive person. How?

However, when your partner, friend or relative isn’t aware of the trait or does not want to acknowledge it, you constantly find yourself in situations that overwhelm you and they won’t understand why. 

Accordingly, it is important to talk with them about your sensitivity and your needs and to set healthy boundaries in relationships. This can be an intense progress, as you might face resistance from them. However, be patient and try to show them scientific data to back up what you are trying to tell them. Perhaps you could show them this video:

36. Very Uncomfortable With Violence And Obscenity On Television

One of the common signs that you are a highly sensitive person is that you can’t stand violence and obscenity on television and in movies. For instance, seeing such scenes might even cause you to feel nauseous or to have bad nightmares. 

Accordingly, you might prefer to avoid these types of media.

37. Mood Is Affected Easily

Because of their heightened amount of mirror neurons, empathy and depth of processing, the mood of a highly sensitive person is easily affected by external input. 

Their mood can change due to the mood of others around them, scenes from the news, watching a specific movie, listening to certain music and the list goes on. While this is wonderful with regards to positive energy, it can feel like a true curse when encountering negative input. 

Therefore, it is important for highly sensitive people to spend time to properly ground their energy and stand with both feet steady on the ground. This can for example be achieved by protecting your energy. In this blog, we talk about it with regards to toxic people.

And if you are looking for a great way to manage your mood, this book may be a good place to start: ‘The Book of Moods: How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life’

38. In Extreme Cases: Using Drugs Or Alcohol To Numb Emotions

A highly sensitive person who is not aware of their trait and/or is not able to set healthy boundaries for themselves might feel continuous exhaustion and emotional overload. In extreme cases, some might even find temporary relief in alcohol or drugs. However, this is not the perfect solution, as it affects your physical and mental health deeply. 

If you recognize this behavior within yourself, know that there are other ways to learn how to tackle your daily challenges as a highly sensitive person. After all, you do not want to become addicted to alcohol and/or drugs.

For example, you might want to consider seeing an HSP coach. HSP coach Tiara might be able to help you with your struggles and on Dr. Elaine Aron’s website you can find an extensive overview of other HSP experts across the world. Also on our website, you can discover reputable personal growth experts to help you with your challenges.

39. Crying Easily

One of the common signs that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you seem to cry more easily compared to less sensitive people.

As you process external input more deeply both bodily and emotionally, an emotional overload might express itself in a good crying session. When you learn how to ground yourself more properly and set healthy boundaries, you will most likely notice that you will cry less in the future.

40. Anxiety

Because highly sensitive people have heightened activity in the part of their brain responsible for fear – the amygdala -, they also might experience more anxiety compared to less sensitive people. Hence, they come across as more careful and sometimes even nervous to other people. 

Experiencing anxiety might be one of the biggest frustrations of being a highly sensitive person. Anxiety in combination with overthinking can greatly affect one’s feeling of happiness. Accordingly, it might be wise to spend time on learning more about your brain and its patterns and how you can prevent certain destructive thought patterns effectively.

If you struggle with anxiety often, this technique might be interesting for you to try out:

41. Being Told That You Are ‘Too Soft’ And Need To Grow A ‘Thicker Skin’

Has someone ever told you that you are being ‘too soft’ and that you need to grow a ‘thicker skin’? That you need to toughen up? 

These are common things that highly sensitive people hear from their parents, relatives or even their partner. They may mean well when they say those things, but for highly sensitive people this can come across as incredibly hurtful.

Their sensitive nature is something that deserves to be seen and that is needed in the world. Hiding away their trait would mean hiding away who they truly are. 

Therefore, please don’t take these comments too serious and embrace your sensitive side.

42. Strong Intuition And Gut Feeling

Highly sensitive people tend to have a strong intuition, because they notice tiny details that others may not. In addition, their depth of processing this input enables them to connect the dots easily. 

A highly sensitive person can oftentimes sense when someone is struggling, even when that person isn’t saying a word about it. 

Do you want to learn how to understand your intuition better? In the book ‘Radical Intuition: A Revolutionary Guide to Using Your Inner Power‘ you will find useful tips.

43. Few Deep Connections With Others

Another typical sign that you are a highly sensitive person is that you may have few truly deep connections with people around you. Due to your depth of processing certain input, you might find it hard to find people who are able to ‘reach that depth’ with you.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you talked enthusiastically about for example the endless possibilities of the Universe and spirituality, and your conversation partner looked at you with empty eyes, wondering how on earth you could think about those things?

This is quite common for highly sensitive people and might even cause them to feel alone. Know that there are many other people out there who experience it just the same way you do. You can connect with them through HSP communities like this one.

44. People-pleaser

Due to their empathic character, highly sensitive people often are people-pleasers. Since they feel the mood of others and don’t want to disrupt their mood by displeasing them, they often go out of their way to please them.

While pleasing others can be a wonderful characteristic, it is important to make sure that you are not being used by the other person. Ensure to set healthy boundaries in relationships and to know when enough is enough.

If people-pleasing is something you struggle with occasionally, this book may be life changing for you: ‘Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself’

45. Feeling Energies

Have you ever found yourself walking into a room and feeling that something was ‘off’ with it? Seconds later, you found out that the people in that room just had a conflict. 

Being able to feel energies in a room or amongst people can be related to your heightened amount of mirror neurons. Because you notice subtle changes in the behaviour if others, feeling these energy shifts comes natural to you.

46. Sensitive To Caffeine

Another typical sign that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you are sensitive to caffeine. This is not strange, as caffeine acts as a stimulant to the central nervous system of our brains.

A study shows that there was a significant increase in amygdala activity when caffeine was combined with a threatening situation. 

Actually, highly sensitive people already happen to have a higher amount of amygdala activity. Therefore, adding caffeine to that surely can’t be good. This explains why many highly sensitive people react strongly when consuming caffeine.

47. Easily Getting Distracted During A Conversation

While you love having deep conversations with others, you might often find yourself distracted during those conversations. Usually, this occurs when there is too much external stimuli going on around you.

Loud noises, crowds of people and strong smells might distract you from your conversation. Therefore, it might be wise to look for calm places when you intend to have a deep conversation with someone (without being distracted all the time).

48. Getting Scared Easily

One of the typical signs that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you easily get scared. Because your amygdala – the part of the brain responsible for fear and the fight-, flight- and freeze reaction – already is more active, being scared by someone pushes it over the top.

49. Performing Worse Under Time Pressure

Highly sensitive people prefer slow living and focusing on one task at a time. Because they are perfectionists and pay close attention to detail, they become very stressed when they don’t have the time to practice those skills.

This in combination with their fear of failure results in great stress within them, which again might limit them in performing as well as usually.

50. Becoming ‘Hangry’ Very Easily

Have you ever found yourself binge eating after a rough day? Do you get ‘hangry’ easily on those days? According to this article, highly sensitive people often experience binge eating and weight gaining. This occurs due to their body’s reaction to negative influences from the environment they find themselves in.

By adding a layer of fat to our body, our body attempts to shield itself as protection against negative circumstances and energies. Hence, the eating. 

Therefore, make sure to eat nutritional food that is good for you if you feel hangry. However, the best solution is to find other ways to protect yourself from negative influences by setting healthy boundaries, taking a step back or avoiding negative influences that don’t serve you or your life.

51. Struggling To Deal With Change

Another common sign that you are a highly sensitive person, is that you struggle to deal with changes. Changes often have a major influence on our daily rhythms and the tendency to bring us out of balance.

As highly sensitive people do their best to remain balanced in a rather fast paced world, that is not suited well towards the needs of an HSP, change can be truly frustrating. However, while you’re trying to prepare yourself the best you can for change, unforeseen situations still happen to occur. 

I remember when we moved to our new, beautiful home and it took me 4 (!) months to truly get used to this change. Although we had planned the move for quite a while and made sure to not stress too much, it still was an incredibly stressful event.

If change is one of your biggest struggles, you may want to have a look at this book: ‘Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age’

52. You Were Labeled As Sensitive Or Shy As A Kid

Highly sensitive people were often labeled as shy or ‘too sensitive’ when they were children. Oftentimes, this shyness simply was a coping mechanism for the highly sensitive child, who most likely was overwhelmed and overstimulated. 

Because many people and especially the older generations weren’t aware of the HSP trait, these were common labels to refer to. Nowadays, the HSP trait is recognized more easily in children and more and more people are learning about the trait. 

53. Struggling To Stay Concentrated

Highly sensitive people might have difficulties to stay concentrated and focused while working. For example, when there are unexpected noises or smells in their environment, chances are likely that they will be distracted by it.

These distractions might annoy them so much that their head feels ‘cluttered’ by it and they might feel a spontaneous need to get rid of the disturbance. First when it is cleared, they can continue to focus.

Are you having serious concentration issues? This book may offer some useful insights: ’10-Minute Focus: 25 Habits for Mastering Your Concentration and Eliminating Distractions’

54. Feeling Like You Don’t Fit In The “9 to 5”-Rhythm Of Society

The standard society truly isn’t made for highly sensitive people. Moreover, the idea to work for 8 hours straight with almost no rest, while preferably performing as many tasks as possible at the same time before a certain deadline, was certainly not created by a highly sensitive person.

Highly sensitive people tend to prefer working hours stretched out throughout the day, so they have enough time to rest in between working sessions and recharge their energy. Thankfully, big companies are acknowledging the benefits of this working structure more and more.

55. You Are Very Sensitive To Pain

Questionnaires have shown that highly sensitive people are more affected by pain than less sensitive people.

Due to them processing external stimuli more intensely, it is logical that also internal stimuli such as pain can affect a highly sensitive person deeply.

56. Worrying about the future and the past

If you find yourself worrying much about the future and the past, this might be one of the signs that you are a highly sensitive person. 

Because you might tend towards overthinking things and processing them deeply, it is logical that worrying about the future and the past are part of it as well.

For the ‘worriers’ amongst you, here’s an interesting video:

57. People Easily Open Up To You

Have you ever found yourself walking in public and suddenly being approached by strangers telling you their entire life story? Actually, this is a common experience for highly sensitive empaths.

People sense the sensitive and empathic nature of an HSP and know that they most likely will be able to receive the support that they need. Hence, this is one of the typical signs that you are a highly sensitive person.

58. Feeling When People Aren’t Telling The Truth Or Hiding Something

Because of the heightened amount of mirror neurons, highly sensitive people are able to read the emotions of others exceptionally well. Hence, they also often have the skill to feel when somebody is lying or hiding something.

They notice the subtle changes in body language and tone of voice, which others might seem to look past.

59. Smelling Things Others Can’t Smell

As a result of their heightened processing of external stimuli, highly sensitive people are more sensitive towards smell. Accordingly, they might notice the tiniest changes in the smell of their surroundings.

While this is a wonderful gift when for example smelling pleasant smells like flower fragrances, this can be truly frustrating. Especially when someone in your surroundings has an unpleasant perfume which others don’t seem to be bothered by.

60. Getting Overwhelmed By Doing Too Many Things At Once

Finally, one of the signs that you are a highly sensitive person is that you easily get overwhelmed when doing too many things at once. 

Because you prefer to pay attention to detail and perhaps even are perfectionistic, doing too many tasks at the same time disables you from practicing those skills. Hence, it can become a rather overwhelming experience to multitask.

Frequently Asked Questions About The Signs of Being Highly Sensitive

How many of these 60 signs do I need to relate to, to be an HSP?

There’s no exact cutoff, but if a large portion feels familiar — especially the sensory-overwhelm and emotional-depth ones — it’s a strong signal worth exploring further.

Is being an HSP a diagnosis or a personality trait?

It’s a personality trait, not a clinical diagnosis. It was first named “Sensory Processing Sensitivity” by psychologist Elaine Aron.

Can you become highly sensitive, or are you born this way?

Research points to it being largely innate, though life experiences can shape how it shows up and how well you manage it.

What’s the difference between being an HSP and just being an introvert?

They’re not the same — an estimated 30% of HSPs are actually extroverted. High sensitivity is about depth of processing, not social preference.

Am I Highly Sensitive?

If you would like to confirm that you are a highly sensitive person after reading this article, you can take the official self test here. 

I hope that you found this extensive list of signs that you are a highly sensitive person useful and that you’ll share it with your friends, family and partner.

Do you think that you are highly sensitive after reading this article? Feel free to share your opinion in the comments below!

If a lot of this list feels like reading about yourself, you’re not alone: an estimated 15-20% of people are HSPs. The HiSensitives Growth Tree Bundle is the best place to start exploring what that means for you, with 19 masterclasses and 78+ worksheets across all four growth areas.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Am I Highly Sensitive? The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide To HSP!
• 5 Tips On How To Create A Solid Personal Growth Plan
• 20 Signs That Indicate That You’re An Empath
• Reconnecting with My Past: The Power of Inner Child Healing
• How The Law Of Attraction Influenced My Career

The post 60 Signs That You Are A Highly Sensitive Person appeared first on HiSensitives.

High sensitivity and giftedness are two different traits that often get confused, because high sensitivity is common among gifted people. Giftedness centers on above-average intelligence, creativity, and motivation, while high sensitivity is about how deeply your nervous system processes stimuli: you can be one, the other, or both. This guide breaks down where they overlap and where they differ. In this article, autism coach Nikki talks about the similarities and differences between being highly sensitive and being highly gifted.

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes

Earlier I wrote a guest blog about the differences between high sensitivity and autism, because these two neurodivergencies are often mixed up. Today you will learn more about high sensitivity and being highly gifted, as these traits often are confused with each other as well.

However, that’s not completely strange, as high sensitivity can also be a trait of being gifted. Therefore, in this article, I provide some more information about what being highly gifted entails. You will discover what the differences and the similarities are, so you can distinguish between the two traits.

And while you’re here, make sure to check out our free boundary tracker printable for highly sensitive people!

What Does It Mean to Be Highly Gifted?

There are different definitions of giftedness, but in general professionals use the multi-factor model of Franz Josef Mönks’s. This professor of developmental psychology has added a number of factors to the existing model of the American psychologist Renzulli.

Renzulli stated that giftedness is not so much a trait, but a certain ability that leads to gifted behavior. According to this theory, a person is highly gifted if he has a great amount of creativity, high intelligence (IQ> 130) and a certain motivation.

• High creativity: By creativity people do not only mean “creative” creativity, such as painting, knitting, clay or baking cakes. For many gifted individuals, creativity (also) expresses itself in language and word jokes and in coming up with original solutions to problems. Gifted people can get into discussions with surprising questions and arguments. Their strength is to think outside the box.

• High intelligence: One of the hallmarks of giftedness is high intelligence. An IQ (Intelligence Quotient) of 130 is generally used as a lower limit. Intelligence tests determine the IQ. The average IQ is 100. If you have an IQ of 140, then that score deviates 40 points from the average. In percentage terms, there are as many people with an IQ of 140 as with an IQ of 60.

• High motivation: By this they mean having a great passion, task orientation and the urge to achieve set goals. Gifted people often have an intrinsic motivation to achieve their goals.

How Does Your Environment Shape Whether Giftedness Shows Up?

Mönks added the influence of the environment. The environment partly determines whether the qualities that the person has (highly intelligent, high creativity and high motivation) are also visible in striking performances. He mentions the influence of the family, the school and the circle of friends of the gifted person in its childhood. This influence can be both positive and negative.

Heller expands the story even further in his multi-factor model. He sees “giftedness” as something that is not only about intellectual capacities, but can also be, for example, musical, social or physical gifts. He also says that factors in the person have an influence as well. For example, someone may have great musical talent, but suffer from fear of failure to such an extent that it is not possible to perform in front of an audience.

Being highly gifted appears to be basically innate. There are indications that the nervous system of a gifted person can make new connections more easily and more quickly. Whether the person can also translate these innate qualities into exceptional achievements and whether the person is happy depends on many factors, both in his environment and in himself. A gifted person is “different” from most people in several ways. It is not better or worse, but it is different. That is why the gifted person needs other things to be able to develop optimally.

What Are the Traits of Highly Gifted People?

But how do you know if you are gifted, maybe? Well, you do an IQ test! The result of an IQ test gives many gifted individuals a sense of security or reassurance when it turns out positive. But there are many situations where someone does not perform optimally while taking the IQ test. Somebody might perform worse because they have a fear of failure which makes them do the test less successfully. Therefore, the “negative” result does not necessarily mean that you are not gifted.

Another way is to read into the many traits that gifted people have. You can find many lists of traits online. Gifted people often identify with these lists, but the logic does not necessarily work the other way: recognizing yourself in these lists does not mean that you are gifted.

The traits mentioned are not all actually traits of highly gifted people. A large number of these “traits” are experiences, pitfalls or behaviors that we encounter in the gifted. Many of these are based on the fact that gifted individuals belong to a minority. This list therefore serves as a recognition, not as a “diagnostic” instrument.

I did however, make a list for you. Because I do want you to know what a lot of gifted people have in common, so you can get a broader vision of what it entails to be a gifted individual. I put these traits in different categories (I am a sucker for categorizing things, I am autistic after all). I have three categories listed: sensitivity traits, consciousness traits and traits in relation to intelligence, creativity and perseverance.

#1: Sensitivity Traits

You…

• have always felt different from others.
• have low self-esteem and often low self-confidence.
• are sensitive to (loud) noise, light, crowds, smells and other external stimuli.
• feel easily influenced by the moods of others.
• have perfectionistic traits.
• are intuitive.
• can pick up subtle signals from your environment.
• are easily annoyed or impatient.
• are sensitive to pain.
• need to rest after a day at work to reconnect with yourself.
• are more sensitive than average to the effects of nicotine, alcohol and caffeine.
• feel the emotions of others in your own body.
• usually hate violence.
• can be very moved by the beauty of things, like music.

#2: Consciousness Traits

You…

• often quickly find different solutions to problems.
• are or were an outsider at school.
• participated fairly inconspicuously at school. You got along with everyone, but you didn’t really belong to anything.
• are very loyal.
• can take on the whole world one moment and then lose that feeling the next time.
• are a worrier because you are able to see what may go wrong.
• prefer friends who are older than yourself.
• often have to defend your opinion or ideas or they are ignored.
• sometimes doubt your own ideas because you are the only one who seems to think a certain way.
• are regularly told not to be so difficult or so serious.
• would like to make the world a better place and you are already full of ideas about how that should be done.
• feel that you could achieve more than you have done so far.
• have trouble finding inner peace.
• are very loyal and trustworthy in friendships.
• are afraid to take an intelligence test, because what if you fail and giftedness turns out not to be a part of you.
• sometimes you know things, not knowing why that is the case.
• have extraordinary experiences that you cannot always place or explain.

#3: Intelligence, creativity and perseverance traits

You…

• work best in an independent position.
• set high standards for yourself and others and are very critical.
• have great perseverance when you are working on something that you like or need of yourself.
• often have to repeat something or explain it several times. Others don’t get you.
• have your own way of learning.
• don’t find learning difficult, but the way it is presented has to be appropriate.
• have a very strong sense of justice.
• have a special kind of humor.
• hate repetition.
• can spend hours focused on something if it interests you.
• find parties where you can have a good discussion pleasant.
• often feel bored at parties.
• have a large vocabulary, or you understand a lot, but you use that vocabulary a lot less.
• like the details in a discussion and “pick on” others for irregularities in it.
• have unlimited curiosity.
• feel a hunger for knowledge and information in areas that you find interesting.
• could read early on and you still love to read.
• have a full bookcase.
• work on many cases or projects at the same time.
• sometimes find it difficult to get started because you no longer know how to start.
• procrastinate a lot.
• experience trouble completing projects because your attention already moved on to the following.
• work according to fixed procedures or you have difficulty applying structure.
• work the best prior to a deadline and things usually work out just fine.

What Do Highly Sensitive and Highly Gifted People Have in Common?

As you could see in the list of traits, giftedness and high sensitivity overlap in many ways. But they are not necessarily the same thing. Both gifted people and highly sensitive people perceive the world very intense and consciously. Both groups of people notice certain subtleties and discrepancies around them that the gross of the people around them seem to miss.

Next to that, both highly sensitive people and gifted people are aware of their environment and have an above average sensitivity to atmosphere and stimuli. Consequently, this makes both of them react excessively. The information received by the senses is also experienced more intensely and a deeper processing takes place.

Certainly in new environments they can therefore become overwhelmed by the stimuli that they experience. This can make them struggle with certain social matters, such as parties, and really dread it. They will also notice that they need more charging and recovery time than the people around them, who are less sensitive to stimuli.

What’s also the same in both parties, is that they often have the feeling of “not belonging”. Both highly gifted and highly sensitive people might feel a certain distance between them and other people. I’m not saying this is the case for everybody, but it is noticeable more often in these groups of people.

If you are either highly sensitive or highly gifted, there might me a bigger chance of not finding the right connection with other people. Consequently, this may make you feel rejected and misunderstood. Either of these individuals might have heard that they are “too sensitive”, “too emotional”, of “you worry too much, let it go”. Certainly gifted people are regularly called too critical, too difficult, too stubborn or too know-it-all.

What Are the Differences Between Being Highly Sensitive and Highly Gifted?

But next to these similarities, there are differences too. One of the biggest differences between giftedness and high sensitivity is the above-average potency and intelligence that is present in giftedness. This is the case if there is an IQ score of 130+. Gifted individuals also have a stronger analytical capacity, are faster in their thinking, are often one step ahead of others and are ahead in their development, which may be noticeable even when they are just a child.

Walking, talking or reading earlier than peers is a clear sign of being ahead in development. It also can develop later, but then they are already above their level. Some gifted people even skip developmental phases. For example, they start walking without having had the crawl phase. Being ahead in development, at home and at school, is not always noticeable. This can be the case when the child grew up in an environment that stood in their way, developmental or learning wise.

It might be the case that you now wonder if you are “only” highly sensitive, or that you are highly gifted too. You might wonder how to figure that out. It can be the case that you feel like there is more to you than just being highly sensitive. You feel like there is still an undiscovered part of you and that high sensitivity doesn’t cover the entire load.

If you feel this way, why not figure it out? Read more about it, make an appointment with somebody who can test you, if you’re able to afford that. In the end, it helps you to understand who you are and how you are wired. Therefore, even if you are not able to get the “scientific answer”, look for what works for you.

How Can Highly Gifted People Recognize Their Own High Sensitivity?

Let me first start this by saying that some gifted people might not even recognize their own sensitivities. A lot of them do know they are somewhat sensitive, but they might miss their high sensitivity completely.

When I researched this topic, I read that gifted people often are more ratio-oriented. Which means that they are more “thinkers” and that they tend to “think things out” in their own head. Many gifted people believe that the brain has all the answers, while intuition and emotions play an important role in finding answers.

So, what sensitive, gifted people might miss, is their connection to their own sensitivity. For instance, their ratio could be overdeveloped and the feeling-part less developed. Therefore, it sometimes takes years before gifted individuals understand how highly sensitive they are.

This reinforces when there is or was an unsuitable environment. When you have to adapt a lot because you have few like-minded people around you, it becomes a survival mechanism to close off the feeling aspect. You can no longer use your own intuition. You can also harden towards the outside world and become very black and white in your thinking and in relationships with others. For example, you break friendships abruptly because the other person does not meet your “requirements” or disappoints you in some way.

How Can You Reconnect With Your Intuition?

Key is to get back in touch with your intuition and senses. Learn about who you are as a person, what matters to you and try to ignore your ratio. Try to incorporate some moments during the day to do this. Get back in touch with yourself. Make a habit out of it.

For example, sit down for a moment and try to be aware of your own body. Feel how you are sitting. Try to pay attention to how you feel, next. Do you have an itch? Do you feel your clothing on your skin? How is your stomach feeling? Is it hungry?

Go where your attention goes. What does it tell you? Is it a feeling on a thought of your own?

Take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Relax your shoulders. Take a good stretch. What do you feel now?

You can do this little exercise multiple times during the day. When you are behind your laptop. When you are binging a new show on Netflix. Or when you are in the grocery store. Get out of your head and try to feel. It’ll work wonders for getting back in touch with your senses!

If you’d like to read more about being highly gifted, you may enjoy the book ‘Gifted Grownups: The Mixed Blessings of Extraordinary Potential‘

Frequently Asked Questions about Being Highly Gifted And/Or High Sensitivity

Can you be highly sensitive without being gifted?

Yes, high sensitivity and giftedness are independent traits; most HSPs are not gifted in the clinical sense.

Are all gifted people highly sensitive?

No, but sensitivity shows up often enough in gifted populations that the two get confused regularly.

How do I know if I’m gifted, sensitive, or both?

Giftedness is typically assessed through IQ and creativity/motivation measures, while high sensitivity is identified through trait questionnaires like Elaine Aron’s HSP scale — they measure different things, so it’s worth checking both if you’re unsure.

Does giftedness need to be formally tested, or can you just tell?

Self-recognition can point you in the right direction, but a formal assessment is the only way to confirm giftedness with certainty.

Whether you’re gifted, sensitive, or both, understanding your own wiring is the first step to working with it instead of against it: Self-Awareness and the Highly Sensitive Person is built for exactly that.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• How To Help People In Your Life Without Being Manipulative
• Highly Sensitive Person and Autism: What is the Difference?
• How To Understand And Listen To Your Intuition
• 4 Powerful Books That Highly Sensitive People Should Read

The post High Sensitivity Versus Being Highly Gifted: The Differences & Similarities appeared first on HiSensitives.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) and autistic people can look similar on the surface — both often experience sensory overwhelm, deep empathy, and a sense of not fitting in — but they’re different neurotypes. The core differences show up in social communication patterns and repetitive behaviors, which are central to autism but not part of the HSP trait. This guide walks through the overlap and the differences.

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes

For at least ten years I thought I was a highly sensitive person, and that’s actually not all that strange, because the media portrays a very narrow image of autism. If you look at some of the more known characters, like Rain Man and Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, you’d say only white cis males are autistic. Characters like these are often seen as geniuses and non-speakers. 

Autism in real life is completely different from what you usually see. Hence, that’s why a lot of the traits are unknown to people. Moreover, that’s why a lot of people with autism don’t know what exactly it entails and identify as a highly sensitive person. On the other hand, masculine people may think they are autistic, while in fact they are highly sensitive. In this blog I’d like to give some clarification!

What Is Autism?

Autism is a neuro-type that is not easy to describe. While the exact cause isn’t known, we do know that it is a congenital neurobiological development disorder. In short, this means that the information processing in the brain is different than that of other people.

Most people see the world in conjunction, just like one film is a coherent whole of images. Autistics usually see the world as separate photos. Hence, they see less coherence. Consequently, this makes it very difficult for them to understand what is happening around them.

The diagnosis ‘autistic disorder’ – also known as ‘classic autism’ or ‘Kanner’s syndrome’ – is no longer given. The current edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the DSM-5, only speaks of one term: Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The scientific basis for the earlier autism subtypes were insufficient. People who have had this diagnosis in the past can continue to use them, though.

Not every autistic has the same characteristics and traits. And not only are they different per person, they can also be different from time to time in one person. Moreover, they depend on someone’s mood and the situation they are in. There are, however, symptoms that occur in a large proportion of people with autism. For example, these characteristics and traits can be divided into social and communication limitations, fixed rituals, and difficulty with change.

Are You Secretly Navigating the Challenges of Autism (aka Masking)?

Some people may not be aware yet that they are autistic and are highly skilled at masking. “Unmasking Autism” by Dr. Devon Price is like lifting the veil on a hidden world and talks about this topic.

Ever met someone who seems ‘just like everyone else’ but is secretly navigating the challenges of Autism? This book dives deep into that. Dr. Price combines personal stories with a touch of history and research to give us a peek into the lives of those who ‘mask’ their Autism to fit in.

It’s about the personal battles they fight, especially when things like race or gender come into play. But, this isn’t just a book about struggles. It’s packed with hands-on tips for embracing our unique selves and celebrating what makes us different.

Whether you’re Autistic or not, this book invites everyone to step into a world of understanding and acceptance. A must-read for anyone who believes in celebrating individuality!

Why I Think That Highly Sensitive People Are Neurodivergent

Highly sensitive people and autistic people have some things in common. During my research I found out that a lot of people categorize being a highly sensitive person as a character trait. I personally disagree with that. In my opinion both autism and high sensitivity fall under the neurodiversity term.

Neurodiversity really just means that there are differences between brains. Moreover, there are brains that process information in different ways and use different ways of thinking and learning. For example, the autistic brain is one of them, but ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia and Gilles de la Tourette also fall under the neurodiversity umbrella. Therefore, I also consider being a highly sensitive person to also fall under this term, as the brains of HSPs also process information and stimuli in a different way than the “normal” neurotypical brain would. 

What Are the Similarities Between Being an HSP and Being Autistic?

Because autism and high sensitivity both are neurodivergent, they show similarities. These are the similarities between a highly sensitive person and autism:

Extremely Sensitive To External And Internal Stimuli

Both parties know all too well what it is like to experience sensory input from their environment, like (loud) noises or a clothing label that stings in your neck. Moreover, both highly sensitive people and autistics can get overstimulated from their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Overwhelm

Another similarity is the overwhelming feeling they both get from those stimuli. Both parties can become incredibly overwhelmed by all this input. Hence, this can result in extreme fatigue, shutdowns or panic attacks (if the person hasn’t developed coping mechanisms).

Empathy And Intuition

This is something that a lot of people don’t know because of misinformation in the media. Another trait highly sensitive people and autistic people can have in common is the extreme level of empathy. Autistic people are known for lacking empathy. However, it’s way more common for them to experience too much empathy, just like highly sensitive people do. They also can be very intuitive!  

What Are The Differences Between The Highly Sensitive Person Trait And Autism?

Now that we’ve discussed the similarities, let’s have a look at the differences. There are certain traits that people with autism do have, which highly sensitive people don’t. In order to demonstrate these traits, I applied the DSM-5. To meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD according to the DSM-5, a person must have persistent deficits in each of the criterial areas: 

1. Social communication and interaction (in each of the three areas)
2. Restricted, repetitive behaviors (at least two of four types)

Social Communication And Interaction

In autism, there are deficits in social-emotional reciprocity. This might include an abnormal social approach and/or a failure or normal back-and-forth conversation. Also, there may be deficits in sharing of interests, emotions or failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Additionally, there are deficits in nonverbal communication used for social interaction. This may include poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication, abnormalities in eye contact and body language. In addition, it may involve troubles with understanding and using gestures and facial expressions.

Another issue in area of social communication and interaction is developing, maintaining and understanding relationships. This might include having difficulties in adjusting behavior in different social settings, to the absence of interest in peers.  

What I have noticed is that most highly sensitive people don’t have as many issues in this field as autistic people do. A highly sensitive person may experience less trouble with connecting to people. Overall, they are social beings and do not experience these problems. In my research I have found that highly sensitive people often find social interaction very rewarding. They thrive on forming strong bonds with people, something that autistic people often find more challenging.

Restricted, Repetitive Behaviors

Another thing that characterizes autism, are the restricted and repetitive behaviors, interests or activities. These are some examples:

• There are stereotyped or repetitive motor movements (like flapping hands, spinning around), use of objects (lining up toys or flipping objects) or speech (echolalia or idiosyncratic phrases).
• Insistence of sameness. This means autistic people are inflexible in their routines, they have ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (extreme distress at small changes), trouble with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals or samefooding.
• Fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus. 
• Hyper – or hyporeactivity to sensory input or an unusual interest in sensory aspect of their environment. This might look like excessive smelling or touching or things, or an occupation with lights or movement. Some autistic people might not notice pain. 

As you can see, this demonstrates the differences between the highly sensitive person trait and autism. Most highly sensitive people are not as rigid as autistic people are. They are often way more flexible and are struggling less with major changes compared to people with autism. If you do recognize any of the other behaviors listed above, it might be that you are not a highly sensitive, but autistic. 

Am I Autistic?

It could be the case that, after reading this blog, you recognize yourself in the autistic traits. It could be that you thought you were a highly sensitive person and that could still be the case! However, if you experience challenges in daily life with overstimulation, problems in social interactions and have troubles with communicating, you may want to look into autism. As I said earlier, a lot of people are overlooked because they don’t fit the one-sighted view of autism. 

It might be the case that you are feeling scared or worried after reading this. I want to let you know that you don’t have to be scared. I know that the society we currently live in often sees autism as a negative thing. Being a highly sensitive person is also oftentimes looked at as something negative, because we live in a society that doesn’t value us sensitive people. Neurotypicals oftentimes see sensitivity as something to be ashamed of, as a weakness. But I want you to know that that’s not the truth.

If you think that you might be autistic, you might want to check out the Amazon bestselling book ‘I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults’.

And if you think that you’re a highly sensitive person, but you’re not sure, you should definitely check out the book ‘The Highly Sensitive: How to Find Inner Peace, Develop Your Gifts, and Thrive’.

We Need Sensitive Souls In This World

Please know that if you have the highly sensitive person – or autism trait, you have many strengths to bring to the table. You are probably very loyal and honest. Moreover, you are empathetic and intuitive. Also, you are creative and you are good at thinking outside the box. You view the world in such a beautiful way. Additionally, you have such specific knowledge and expertise. Finally, you’re an observer and have a good eye for detail. Embrace it. Cherish it. It makes you who you are and you’re allowed to be proud of that.

Shed the expectations of the world. The world is busy, crowded, hectic and the pressure is always on. If you’re autistic or a highly sensitive person, please know that it’s okay to follow your own pace. Your own path. It’s okay. It’s why you are here. I promise. 

Frequently Asked Questions About the Highly Sensitive Person And Autism

Can you be both autistic and a highly sensitive person?

Yes, the two aren’t mutually exclusive, and many autistic people also identify as highly sensitive.

Is high sensitivity a form of autism?

No, they’re distinct, though overlapping, neurotypes. High sensitivity isn’t a diagnosis and doesn’t involve the social-communication or repetitive-behavior patterns core to autism.

What’s the biggest giveaway that it’s autism and not just high sensitivity?

Persistent differences in social communication and a strong need for routine or repetitive behaviors are more specific to autism than to high sensitivity alone.

Should I get an autism assessment if I relate to a lot of these traits?

If the traits are significantly affecting your daily life or relationships, a professional assessment can offer clarity that self-reflection alone can’t.

If reading this left you with more questions about your own wiring than answers, Self-Awareness and the Highly Sensitive Person is a good starting point, or explore more broadly with the HiSensitives Growth Tree Bundle. And if what you’re noticing sounds like it could be autism specifically, a professional assessment is the right next step, this guide and any course are educational, not diagnostic.

Additional Literature on Autism and the Highly Sensitive Person

If you’d like to discover the topic autism more, here are some books I recommend you to read:

Neuro tribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity – Steve Silberman

“NeuroTribes” by Steve Silberman is an enlightening read that delves into the complex history of autism, offering a comprehensive narrative from its earliest research to the modern understanding of neurodiversity. This groundbreaking book challenges conventional views, presenting autism not just as a disability but as a natural and valuable variation of the human genome. Silberman’s compelling exploration into the evolution of autism diagnoses and the concept of neurodiversity is a vital contribution that reshapes our understanding of cognitive differences in society.

The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism – Naoki Higashida

“The Reason I Jump” by Naoki Higashida offers a profound, intimate glimpse into the autistic mind. Written by a thirteen-year-old boy with autism, this unique memoir reveals how he perceives and interacts with the world in ways that are both enlightening and inspiring. Through his honest and heartfelt narrative, constructed using an alphabet grid, Naoki answers questions about autism with deep insight, changing the way readers view not just autism, but life itself. This book is a transformative read, providing a rare and valuable perspective on the experiences of those with autism.

Loud hands: Autistic People, Speaking – Julia Bascom

“Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking” is a compelling anthology of essays by Autistic individuals, offering a rich tapestry of the lived experiences and perspectives within the Autistic community. This collection, ranging from the early days of the Neurodiversity movement to contemporary blog posts, serves as both a historical document and a deeply personal account of Autism. It provides invaluable insights, preserving and showcasing the diversity and core principles of the Autistic community in their own words.

But you don’t look autistic at all – Bianca Toeps

In her insightful book, Bianca Toeps offers a candid and often humorous exploration of life with autism, moving beyond stereotypes to the reality of daily experiences. She combines scientific perspectives with personal narratives and interviews, providing a well-rounded view of autism. Toeps’ engaging style addresses common misconceptions and offers practical advice, particularly for non-autistic people, on how to interact respectfully and effectively with autistic individuals. This book is an eye-opening read, challenging preconceived notions and deepening the understanding of autism.

Divergent mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You – Jenara Nerenberg 

“Divergent Mind” by Jenara Nerenberg is a groundbreaking exploration of neurodivergent women, delving into why traits like ADHD, autism, and high sensitivity are often overlooked in women. Nerenberg, a journalist with personal experience, uncovers the rich diversity of mental makeups, highlighting the systemic flaws in diagnosis and societal attitudes. This insightful book offers a new perspective on neurodiversity, celebrates the unique strengths of neurodivergent minds, and provides practical guidance for a more inclusive society that values and supports these differences.

The Highly Sensitive: How to Find Inner Peace, Develop Your Gifts, and Thrive – Judy Dyer

This insightful guide for Highly Sensitive People (HSP) offers practical strategies to navigate a world that often feels overwhelming. It delves into understanding the nuances of being an HSP, managing emotional overload, and turning high sensitivity into a strength rather than a setback. The book is a valuable resource for HSPs seeking to establish healthy boundaries, protect themselves from negative energy, and embrace their unique qualities to lead a fulfilling life. It empowers HSPs to recognize their potential and harness their sensitivity as a gift.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Empathy And Autism: Can They Really Coexist?
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• How To Spend Less Time On Your Phone In 5 Steps

The post Highly Sensitive Person and Autism: What is the Difference? appeared first on HiSensitives.

A sense of belonging is a basic human need — the security of knowing you’re accepted for who you are, whether that’s tied to a place, people, or your own inner sense of self. This guest piece from wellbeing coach Thomas Lai walks through what gets in the way of belonging, and the practices that helped him build a more grounded sense of identity.

Estimated reading time: 36 minutes

What does it mean to belong? Is our sense of belonging tied to a specific place, particular people, and outer conditions? The sense of belonging is one of our basic human needs. It helps us orient each other in an ever-changing environment. Belonging offers us a secure foundation to develop our capacity for love, self-expression, understanding, and relating to others. It also helps give us a sense of purpose.

In many cultures, belonging means being more or less like everyone else, sharing the same values, views, and attitudes. Even in cultures that celebrate individualism, there is a tendency to align ourselves with people who are most similar to us. But is there more to belonging than defining us and them?

In this article, I am going to share my journey of finding a sense of belonging in the world. I will also share some strategies I learned that helped me along the way.

And while you’re here, make sure to check out our free boundary tracker printable for highly sensitive people!

What Shapes Our Sense of Identity and Belonging?

My struggle with belonging has always been tied to my struggle with identity. Over time, I began to see my identity as a system made up of different aspects. I’m going to present five aspects of my identity system: cultural, social, psychological, gender and sexuality. These aspects intersect with one another. Getting clarity on each one helped me better understand myself and my relation to the world.

Cultural Identity

One of my earliest challenges is related to cultural identity. Growing up in Canada as an immigrant, the Western values I had embraced conflicted with the traditional East-Asian values held by my family. To adapt to both worlds, I created two personas: the ‘outside home me’ and the ‘at home me’. I associated my ‘outside home me’ as the real me and the ‘at home me’ to be the inhibited version of myself. Unfortunately, the split I had created left me feeling estranged from my heritage and my family.

Social Identity 

I’ve always been a social nomad. I would rarely stay in one social group for very long. Like an anthropologist, I was curious about different types of people, but I never saw myself as a committed member. Somehow being a visitor just stopping by felt natural to me. I found change stimulating and being free to roam allowed me to expand and evolve as a person. The downside was that moving around from one group to another made it difficult for me to maintain close and meaningful relationships. 

Psychological Identity 

Before I knew about high-sensitivity, I learned that I was an Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging type (INFJ) – supposedly the rarest personality type according to the Myers Briggs personality assessment. Understanding my typology and psychological traits helped me understand myself better and validated what I had experienced in my life. But getting too attached to these psychological profiles also reinforced my sense of alienation. 

Gender Identity 

As a quiet, meek, and physically frail boy, I never fit into the masculine stereotype. I received many negative comments about my appearance and behavioral traits as I was growing up. Important people in my life would say things to me like: “you’re too skinny” or “you need to deepen your voice and sound more like a man.” Such comments damaged my self-esteem as a young man and their effects continued to impact me as an adult. This also had a great impact on my sense of belonging.

Sexual Identity

Growing up in the 90s, I was fortunate to have access to online communities where other LGBT people connected to share their experiences. At the time, however, we lacked the language to describe the variations of our experiences. So, as someone who currently identifies as gay, gray-ace, and being on the aromantic spectrum, I had a difficult time finding my place in the ‘LGBT’ (pre-LGBTQIA) community.

If you’d like to read more about sexual identity, make sure to check out the book ‘The ABC’s of LGBT+’.

What Happens When You Don’t Know Where You Belong?

Although the identity-based challenges I presented are each distinct, they also influence each other as I engage in the world. As a result of the co-mingling of various identity challenges, I experienced the following consequences in my life. 

Lacking Emotional Support 

Since I struggled to find my place in different communities (Asian, creative, LGBT and spiritual), I found myself often without emotional and social support. While I took pride in being a lone-wolf type, it also meant that I had to really take care of myself. Over time, this fierce independence also made me avoid asking others for help when I needed it. The consequence: I placed a lot of stress on myself which created more overwhelm in my life. 

Living In Fear 

The more I noticed how I was different, the more self-conscious I became. The harder I tried to fit in to develop a sense of belonging, the more embarrassed I felt when the results didn’t turn out well. Sometimes the shame is self-inflicted. Other times, other people’s reactions and insensitivity would trigger my shame. In time, I associated social interaction as a high-risk activity that is best avoided. Life became a fearful experience in which anything during the day could trigger a deep sense of shame. 

Disconnecting From The Physical World 

To help myself deal with the confusion surrounding belonging and identity, I would often retreat into my inner world of concepts and ideas. Living in my head led me to ruminate a lot which often exacerbated the emotional turmoil. It also disconnected me from my body – I experienced the world as a floating head that dragged a wispy body around. Living outside my body prevented me from being in touch with my own emotional experience as well as my connection with the earth. 

Lacking Long-Standing Relationships 

Seeing myself as an ephemeral cloud that no one can grasp kept me from forming long-term relationships. Part of me wanted to maintain my independence and freedom, and yet there was a part of me that wanted a sense of closeness and intimacy with others. Often, this intimate bond forms over time between people. And since I was a social nomad, I ended up with many underdeveloped short-term relationships that could not fulfill that deeper need. 

Missing Out On Opportunities 

Being an introverted highly sensitive man meant I would sometimes lose out on life and career opportunities. I would be perceived by others as being a ‘beta male’, someone who is less assertive or lacking drive in a capitalist society. Unable to resonate with many of the things our society values – such as money, sex, and power – I began to wonder if perhaps I was broken or lacked personal drive.

How Can You Develop a Stronger Sense of Belonging and Identity?

I can’t say that I’ve completely eradicated these challenges in my life. However, through years of inner work, I’m now at a place where I know and feel a bigger sense of belonging in the world. For me, it was important to realize that this is a life-long journey towards wholeness or individuation. Here are some strategies I learned to help me recognize that I belong. 

Embracing Multidimensionality

Instead of trying to fit into simplistic models, I tried to acknowledge that everyone is multidimensional. I am many things that overlap and intersect to create the unique expression of life that I am. I became more curious and began to learn more about my background and other cultures. This helped me to reconnect with my heritage, various communities, and all the diversity that exists on this planet. 

Recognizing Commonalities

Instead of just noticing what set me apart from others, I now try to also acknowledge where we share commonalities. Everyone is looking to be accepted and understood. And we’re all doing our very best to make life work in a world that is sometimes unpredictable. Realizing the ways we are the same helped me be more compassionate towards myself and others. 

Celebrating Personal Strengths

Focusing on my strengths rather than weaknesses has been particularly helpful. I’ve harnessed my sensitivity to create expressive works of art, tune in to others on a deeper level, draw subtle connections, and sense the unseen patterns that play out in the world. These are gifts that I can further develop to benefit society. When I honor my strengths and nurture my interests, I feel empowered to seize opportunities that align with my values.

Cultivating A Sense Of Embodiment

Through embodiment practices, particularly The Realization Process developed by Dr. Judith Blackstone, I am learning to inhabit my body more while being in the world.  By inhabiting my body, I feel more grounded and fuller within myself. It gives me a sense of stability, which helps keep me from being easily blown away like a paper doll. By developing a better relationship with my body, I’ve also gained insights into the ways I neglect parts of emotional experience. 

Being Fully Present With Other People

When I meet a new group of people, I try to ask myself: what does this relationship invite me to share with them in this present moment? Maybe someday we will move apart, and that’s okay. What’s important is that I commit to being present with who is in front of me so we can together explore the full potentiality of our interaction. By doing so, I find myself building more sustaining relationships over time. 

Coming Into Contact With The Numinous 

I’ve recorded dreams, journaled, and practiced mindfulness and meditation for many years. All this inner work gave me greater insight into my ego self and my true nature. Attending meditation retreats also helped me connect with others who were often also highly sensitive, introverted, and sometimes even queer. My spiritual practice helps me come into greater contact with the deepest part of me – that which is unchanging and ever-present in all of us.

Frequently Asked Questions About A Sense of Belonging

Is a sense of belonging the same as fitting in?

Not quite, fitting in often means changing yourself to match a group, while belonging means being accepted as you already are.

Can you feel like you belong even if you’re different from those around you?

Yes, belonging is less about sameness and more about feeling safe enough to be your actual self around others.

How is identity connected to belonging?

A clear sense of who you are makes it easier to recognize genuine belonging when you find it, rather than reshaping yourself to fit wherever you land.

Why do highly sensitive people often struggle with belonging?

HSPs process social dynamics and rejection more intensely, which can make the ordinary friction of fitting in feel like stronger evidence that they don’t belong.

Finding Myself In The Bigger Whole

In conclusion, I finally found a sense of belonging not by fixating on a specific place or group. Rather, by seeing myself as part of a diverse global community, I feel interconnected with the human condition that we all share. And by having an ongoing relationship with my inner self and body, I found a sense of home within myself. In his book At Home in the World, psychoanalyst John Hill states eloquently: “So rather than a stable state, being at home in the world embodies a process, a dialogue between self and world, the inner and outer, the subjective and the objective.” I hope the insights I’ve gained will also help you uncover a true sense of belonging. 

If this resonates, you don’t have to sit with it alone: the free HiSensitives HSP Community is full of people working through exactly this. And if you want more structured support building a stronger sense of self, Self-Awareness and the Highly Sensitive Person is a natural next step.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

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The post Discovering Your Sense Of Identity and Belonging In This World appeared first on HiSensitives.

Body dysmorphia (BDD) is a diagnosable mental health condition involving obsessive, distressing focus on a perceived flaw in your appearance, while insecurity is a more common, milder form of self-doubt about how you look. The difference comes down to intensity, how much it disrupts daily life, and whether the “flaw” is actually noticeable to others — this guide breaks down both so you can tell which one you might be dealing with.

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes

In the past weeks I have been scrolling through countless TikTok videos. What surprised me is that the term body dysmorphia was mentioned in many videos.

These videos gave the impression that innumerable people suffer from body dysmorphia. For instance, there is this trend where creators share videos of themselves with the ‘Inverted’ filter turned on. (This is a filter that flips the camera screen horizontally, so you can see yourself how others perceive you.) After turning that filter on, these users realized that they perceive their body very differently compared to what others see.

Oftentimes, they add the term body dysmorphia to these videos. This makes it look like body dysmorphic disorder is a very common struggle for many people. Consequently, this awoke the curiosity within me to go down the rabbit hole and learn more about this topic.

Is body dysmorphia actually that common? And how to tell the difference between body dysmorphic disorder and insecurity or low self-esteem? These questions kept me wondering. Therefore, I had to investigate this further. In this blog, I’ll share my findings with you.

What Is Body Dysmorphia?

Before deep diving into the topic body dysmorphia, it is good to know what it is. Body dysmorphia, or body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is the belief that people only see the flaws that you are seeing when you look in the mirror.

For instance, this could be a birth mark on your face, a big pimple or a scar that you are feeling self-conscious about. All of us struggle with insecure thoughts about our believed ‘flaws’. However, it is not automatically body dysmorphia.

Your focus on your flaws becomes body dysmorphia, when your thoughts and feelings about these flaws start to take over and consume too much of your time. Moreover, these convictions of yourself cause you great emotional disstress (like feeling anxious, sad, angry or self-conscious continuously).

In more extreme cases, body dysmorphia results in repetitive compulsive behaviors. For instance, behaviors such as comparing yourself too much to others, always checking the mirror or an overly excessive use of beauty products to hide your flaws. Also, you may avoid certain social situations because of your self-perceived flaws.

If you’d like to read more about body dysmorphic disorder, you may want to read the book ‘Understanding Body Dysmorphic Disorder’.

Where Does Body Dysmorphic Disorder Come From?

Now that you know what body dysmorphia is, you may wonder what causes it. Sadly, science has yet to prove where exactly it is caused. Similarly with many of the other mental health struggles we know about, BDD may be caused by a combination of different factors.

For instance, family history may be one of the causes. Other causes are abnormalities in the brain or negative evaluations of experiences regarding your body or self-image.

Additionally, recent research suggests that abuse or bullying, low self-esteem, perfectionism or competition with others, genetics, depression, anxiety or OCD are risk factors to experience BDD.

However, science still needs to discover the exact cause of body dysmorphia.

How Common Is Body Dysmorphia?

About 1 out of 50 people in the United States suffers from body dysmorphic disorder. Approximately 5 to 10 million people in the U.S. have this mental health disorder. Consequently, 1.7% to 2.9% of the overall population experience BDD.

Looking at these numbers, it becomes clear that the most of us most likely would not be diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder. Even though social media makes it seem like many of us have BDD, this is not the case.

Therefore, it is wise to differentiate between body dysmorphia and the more common mental health struggles like insecurity or low self-esteem.

What’s the Difference Between Body Dysmorphia and Insecurity?

When I started digging into the topic, I could not help but wonder. Was I ‘just being insecure’ or could it be body dysmorphic disorder? Therefore, I investigated the differences in symptoms between these two.

What Are the Common Symptoms of Body Dysmorphia?

Do you wonder if you have body dysmorphia? Here are some of the common symptoms of BDD:

• Being convinced that your appearance is ‘flawed’ and that you are ugly or deformed.
• Comparing your appearance with others continuously.
• Asking for reassurance from others about your appearance.
• Avoiding common social situations like work, school or parties.
• Being convinced that others will judge or mock you for your ‘flaws’.
• Perfectionistic characteristics.
• Covering up the ‘flaws’ in every way possible.
• Being overly preoccupied with the self-perceived flaws that others do not seem to notice.
• Continuously checking the ‘flaw’ in the mirror with the need to fix it immediately.
• Struggling to stop focusing on the self-perceived ‘flaw’.
• Feeling anxiety when being around other people because of the ‘flaw’.

What Are the Common Symptoms of Insecurity?

Insecurity, or low self esteem, is a common mental health struggle. According to Dr. Joe Rubino, approximately 85% of the world population are affected by low self esteem. Here are the common symptoms for low self-esteem:

• Strong inner critic and negative self-talk.
• Being sensitive towards criticism.
• Withdrawing socially and not wanting to be around other people.
• Hostility as a defense mechanism.
• Worrying excessively about personal problems.
• Feeling depressed and anxious.
• Comparing yourself to others and thinking that others are better than you.
• Struggling with accepting compliments.
• Focusing on negative aspects and neglecting your positive achievements.

Low Self-Esteem Or Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

After reading through these symptoms, it becomes clear that there is an overlap between these two. For instance, within both it is common to compare yourself to others and feel that others are better than you. In addition, anxiety and depression are also overlapping symptoms.

However, it becomes clear that body dysmorphia is focusing excessively on body ‘flaws’, while low self-esteem focuses on all areas of how we perceive ourselves – both physically and in terms of characteristics.

In addition, looking at the numbers, it is more likely that most of us belong to the 85% of the people suffering from low self esteem. Sure, most of us may worry about that pimple or the shape of our bodies every now and then. However, in most cases these insecurities do not shape our lives and overall self-value. Also, they do not limit us in our daily life and choices.

Nevertheless, for someone suffering from body dysmorphic disorder, this is a great struggle and takes up much space in their lives. In addition, it limits them to a much bigger degree compared to those struggling with low self-esteem.

Can Body Dysmorphia Be Self Diagnosed?

Now that you have read more about body dysmorphia, you may want to self diagnose. I get it, it is common for us to do that. However, please don’t self diagnose body dysmorphia.

It is a serious mental health disorder that should always be diagnosed by a mental health professional. Therefore, if you suspect that you have body dysmorphic disorder, make an appointment with somebody qualified to diagnose you.

Frequently Asked Questions About Body Dysmorphia

Below, you’ll find the answers to some of the most commonly asked questions about body dysmorphia:

Is body dysmorphia the same as low self-esteem?

No: low self-esteem is a general negative self-view, while BDD is a specific, intense fixation on a perceived physical flaw that causes real distress and disrupts daily functioning.

Can insecurity turn into body dysmorphia?

They’re different conditions, but persistent, unaddressed insecurity can deepen over time — it’s worth paying attention if it starts interfering with daily life.

When should I see a professional about body image concerns?

If the concern is taking up significant time each day, causing distress, or affecting your relationships, work, or daily functioning, it’s worth speaking with a mental health professional rather than self-diagnosing.

Is body dysmorphia more common in highly sensitive people?

There’s no strong research directly linking HSP status to BDD specifically, though HSPs’ deeper processing of self-perception and social feedback can make body image concerns feel more intense.

Conclusion

After diving into the topic body dysmorphia, I can conclude that it is most likely that most of us don’t experience it the way social media makes it appear like.

This emphasizes the importance of doing your research before using terms like this in your social media content. It is good to raise awareness about body dysmorphic disorder. However, numbers show that the term should not be associated with something all of us could be diagnosed with. That is misinformation that we should avoid.

Do you believe that you experience low self-esteem or dysmorphia? Let us know in the comments!

If what you’re noticing sounds more like insecurity than clinical body dysmorphia, that’s something you can work on. Somatics for Self-Love is a HiSensitives masterclass using body-based practices to help you build a kinder relationship with how you see yourself.

If what you’re noticing sounds closer to the symptoms above under body dysmorphia, please reach out to a mental health professional, that’s outside what any course can address, and the right first step.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Diagnosed With A Mental Illness? 5 Tips to Move You Forward with Life
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• What Is The Difference Between ADHD and HSP?

The post Body Dysmorphia Or Insecurity? How To Tell The Difference appeared first on HiSensitives.

Certain foods can help calm anxiety in highly sensitive people by supporting the nervous system directly – think magnesium-rich nuts, omega-3s from fish, and blood-sugar-stabilizing whole grains – while others, like caffeine and sugar, tend to spike it. This guide covers the 10 best foods to add and the ones worth limiting.

Estimated reading time: 11 minutes

As a highly sensitive person, you may experience anxiety and stress on a regular basis. These feelings may overwhelm you and significantly impact your day.

If you struggle with anxiety and perhaps even depression, you may want to find ways to reduce these mental health struggles. While working on your personal growth and mindset is helpful, adapting your nutrition and reducing the intake of bad food may be worth a shot.

In fact, there are plenty of foods out there to help you calm your anxiety. In this article, we share 10 foods that help you as a highly sensitive person to calm your nervous system and thereby reduce your anxiety.

How Can Food Reduce Anxiety?

First of all, you may wonder whether food actually can help with anxiety. And more so, why does food reduce anxiety?

Throughout the years, researchers have found various correlations between food and mental health. After all, food is what powers our ‘engines’.

Our body needs a broad variety of vitamins and minerals. These fuel our bodies and help us to function normally in daily life. Moreover, each food contains different elements and impacts our bodies in different ways.

Have you ever had a cup of coffee in the evening and struggled with falling asleep? That’s your body reacting to the caffeine that is found in coffee.

Consequently, it is logical that you are what you eat. Therefore, focusing on what you consume on a daily basis has a significant effect on your overall wellbeing. Especially when it comes to reducing anxiety as a highly sensitive person, choosing the right foods can be beneficial for you.

Additionally, various studies show that specific food types reduce anxiety, while others actually trigger anxious feelings. By being aware of what you eat, you can impact your mental health in a positive way.

What Foods Are Good To Reduce Anxiety?

Now that you are aware of the benefits of focusing on good nutrition, you may wonder what food relieves stress and anxiety. There are many natural food alternatives that help you to reduce anxiety.

If you haven’t given them a try yet, we highly recommend you to experiment with these different food types:

#1 Nuts & Seeds

First of all, you may want to consider adding nuts and seeds to your daily diet. It is a healthy snack with wonderful health benefits to reduce anxiety as a highly sensitive person.

For instance, brazil nuts contain high amounts of selenium. Selenium is an element that helps reduce inflammation. Inflammation is often found among people struggling with anxiety. Also, selenium alters levels of neurotransmitters in your brain and thereby may help you to reduce anxiety and even depression. Hence, implementing more food with selenium in your daily diet may help you to tackle your anxiety.

Other nuts and seeds you may want to consider are walnuts, almonds, and chia seeds. These foods contain healthy elements that are positively linked to improving your mood and reducing anxiety.

#2 Fatty Fish

Another great food type to reduce anxiety as a highly sensitive person is fatty fish. Think of fish types such as salmon, mackerel, or tuna.

These fish types contain high amounts of omega-3, which is responsible for decreasing inflammation and stress on your body. In addition, omega-3 helps to increase serotonin and dopamine – the feel-good hormones.

Consequently, if you’d like to reduce your anxiety by eating specific foods, you should try to implement eating fatty fish once or twice every week.

If you are vegan, there are alternatives out there to increase your omega-3 intake. For instance, you may try plant oils such as flaxseed oil, soybean oil, and canola oil. Also, walnuts, flaxseed, and chia seeds contain omega-3s.

#3 Whole Grains

Different studies show that whole grains contain high amounts of magnesium. Magnesium deficiency may result in anxiety. Therefore, by increasing your magnesium intake by eating whole grains, you may positively influence your nervous system.

Additionally, whole grains contain tryptophan, which ultimately becomes serotonin. Ultimately, you’ll want to increase your serotonin levels in order to feel less anxious. Eating whole grains may help you with that.

Foods that contain whole grains are pasta and bread. Therefore, try to find recipes that include this ingredient on a regular basis. Eating these foods may help you to reduce anxiety significantly.

#4 Dark Chocolate

Do you love chocolate, but are you worried about the high amounts of sugar? Try to switch to eating dark chocolate instead. Dark chocolate contains high amounts of flavanols like epicatechin and catechin.

Studies show that flavanols benefit brain function and contain neuroprotective effects. What does that mean? It means that these flavanols increase the blood flow to your brain and thereby improve cell-signaling pathways.

Consequently, this helps you to be able to deal more efficiently with stressful situations that may trigger your anxiety. Therefore, try eating more dark chocolate to reduce anxiety.

#5 Avocado

Avocados are rich in vitamin B. This vitamin is crucial for the development of healthy nerves and brain cells. Moreover, a deficiency of vitamin B in your body may be causing your feelings of anxiety.

This vegetable is a must-have on your list of healthy foods for highly sensitive people. As it helps to reduce stress and lowers your blood pressure, avocado is an absolute superfood.

Hence, purchase some avocados and add them to your dishes. For instance, make a healthy avocado toast or avocado pasta – yummy!

#6 Blueberries

One of our absolute favorite foods to reduce anxiety is the famous blueberry. In this tiny berry, there are plenty of health benefits!

For instance, blueberries are bursting with antioxidants and vitamin C. These are components that help to provide anxiety relief and therefore great if you want to feel less anxious.

In fact, one cup of blueberries contains 24% of our recommended daily allowance of vitamin C. Therefore, if you are looking for healthy fruits that reduce anxiety, put blueberries on your grocery list.

You can include it in a smoothie, your morning cereal bowl, or eat it as a snack during your day.

#7 Tea

Besides foods, there are also certain beverages that you may want to include in your daily food pattern. For instance, drinking green tea, herbal tea and black tea is incredibly good to reduce anxiety.

Green tea includes a high amount of L-theanine, which is an amino acid that reduces anxiety. Studies have shown that people who drink green tea experience less stress compared to those who don’t.

Drinking black tea is beneficial for reducing anxiety, because it increases dopamine turnover in your brain. Due to its theaflavins, it is a healthy beverage to involve in your tea assortiment.

Finally, herbal teas such as chamomile tea, mint tea and lavender tea have the effect to reduce anxiety significantly and soothe your mind.

Therefore, drink a cup of tea every day and notice how your anxiety decreases. For instance, get started with these tea products to reduce anxiety as a highly sensitive person.

#8 Ginger

As a highly sensitive person who wants to experience less anxiety, you should definitely add ginger to your weekly diet.

Studies show that ginger may reduce anxiety as effectively as benzodiazepines drugs! Due to its influence on serotonin levels, this is a wonderful way to naturally feel less anxious.

Moreover, it contains more than 14 bioactive compounds and antioxidants – all providing you with health benefits such as sharpening your cognitive functions and protecting your brain. Therefore, it is a great ingredient to add to your tea and recipes.

#9 Turkey

Another powerful ingredient to relieve anxiety as a highly sensitive person is turkey.

Studies have shown that turkey contains large amounts of tryptophan, which is an essential amino acid that produces niacin. Niacin produces the neurotransmitter serotonin and thereby helps you to increase your mood.

Additionally, eating turkey may help you to regulate your sleep pattern and overall mood. These are helpful adaptions for people struggling with anxiety.

So, next Thanksgiving make sure to ask for some extra turkey on your plate. After all, it is anxiety-reducing!

#10 Oranges & Grapefruit

Finally, oranges and grapefruits should be added to your list of anxiety-decreasing foods! These fruits have the natural power to reduce your anxiety because of their high amounts of vitamin C.

As you know, vitamin C is a powerful stress reducer that also helps you to regulate stress levels and lower your blood pressure.

Therefore, include oranges in your daily diet. For instance, make yourself fresh orange juice or eat it as a snack during the day.

What Foods Trigger Anxiety for a Highly Sensitive Person?

Now that you have discovered foods that reduce anxiety, it is wise to also discover foods and beverages that trigger your anxiety. Below, you can find a list of foods to consume in moderation:

Frequently Asked Questions about Food to Reduce Anxiety

Below, we’ve answered some of the commonly asked questions about food to reduce anxiety:

Can changing my diet alone cure anxiety?

No, diet is a supporting factor, not a standalone cure. It works best alongside other regulation tools (sleep, movement, stress management), not as a replacement for them.

How quickly can changing my diet reduce anxiety symptoms?

Some effects, like avoiding a caffeine-driven spike, are near-immediate. Others, like the benefits of omega-3s or magnesium-rich foods, tend to build over several weeks of consistent intake.

Is caffeine really that bad for highly sensitive people?

Many HSPs are more sensitive to caffeine’s stimulating effects on the nervous system than the average person, so even a normal-sized dose can trigger jitteriness or anxiety that others wouldn’t notice.

What should I eat to avoid an anxiety spike first thing in the morning?

A protein- and fiber-forward breakfast that stabilizes blood sugar, think eggs, oats, or nuts, tends to work better than sugary or caffeine-heavy options that can trigger an energy crash later in the morning.

As you can see, being aware of what you eat can be incredibly beneficial for you as a highly sensitive person. By eating the right foods, you can effectively reduce your anxiety. Therefore, try to implement some of the above mentioned suggestions in your diet and see how it positively impacts your overall well-being.

Good luck with eating healthier!

Food is one lever for calming anxiety: ‘Reduce Anxiety and Overwhelm as an HSP‘ gives you the rest of the toolkit, with yoga and mindfulness techniques designed specifically for a highly sensitive nervous system.

Would You Like To Learn More About How To Reduce Anxiety With Food? Have A Look At These Books:

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