Discover empowering strategies and self-care tips for highly sensitive entrepreneurs to build resilience and thrive in freelancing.

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Being a highly sensitive entrepreneur often feels like you’re walking on an emotional tightrope: constantly balancing the need to deliver exceptional results with the challenge of maintaining your emotional and mental health. If you’re anything like me, you know exactly how quickly a good day can spiral into self-doubt after a single critical comment or challenging client interaction. In this article, I’ll share how I build myself up as a highly sensitive entrepreneur when nobody else does. Hopefully, these tips can help you in your own situation!

The Reality of Being an Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur

As a highly sensitive person (HSP), your emotions run deeper and your reactions tend to be stronger than those of others. I vividly remember days when one harsh email would completely derail me, leaving me anxious and unable to focus for the rest of the day. It’s exhausting to feel as if you’re always teetering on the edge of self-confidence and self-criticism.

Unlike traditional employment settings, freelancing doesn’t usually offer the built-in emotional support of a team or manager. There’s no one regularly praising your efforts or buffering client criticisms. You are entirely responsible for managing your work happiness and your emotional state, which can feel incredibly isolating.

What I’ve learned through years of freelancing is that high sensitivity isn’t a weakness; it’s actually one of my greatest strengths. Your ability to pick up on subtleties: whether it’s a client’s unspoken concerns, nuanced emotions, or the intricacies of a creative project, is a gift. But for this gift to truly flourish, you must treat your sensitivity with the care it deserves.

Facing Feedback: My Own Experiences

Let me share a moment that hit me particularly hard in the past. After investing many hours into a project, I presented my work to a client, feeling proud and hopeful. The client’s response felt unexpected and was not at all what I had hoped for. Immediately, my heart sank. I felt this overwhelming wave of inadequacy, sadness, and embarrassment wash over me. In that moment, I genuinely questioned my skills, my worth, and my ability to continue freelancing.

But this moment of emotional crisis led me to a crucial realization: no one was coming to pull me out of this slump. As a freelancer, and particularly as an HSP, I had to learn how to pick myself up. This moment became a catalyst for me to deeply explore what I could do to strengthen myself emotionally as a highly sensitive entrepreneur, especially when external validation was nowhere to be found.

Building a Self-Loving Work Environment

After years of working in the same workspace, one that no longer reflected who I was or who I wanted to become, I knew it was time for a change. I took intentional steps to create a nurturing environment, filled with positive reminders that I was enough and that I was doing my best. Here’s what I did:

The Affirming Mirror

I bought a beautiful heart-shaped mirror, placing it right above my desk, and wrote affirmations like, “You are enough. You’re doing your best.” Now, each glance serves as a gentle reminder to speak kindly to myself, especially on the tough days.

You may also want to buy an affirmation book like ‘Affirmations For Freelancers: 39 Affirmations to help build your confidence, dissolve self-doubt, and grow your business‘. This may help you increase your confidence in yourself.

Cheerful Reminders

I also introduced small, cheerful items to brighten my space. My favorite addition is a little plant pot with a smiling face, affectionately reminding me to approach myself with the same kindness and positivity I offer others. Alongside this, a small decor piece reading “Love it” gently nudges me to find joy, inspiration and positivity in my work.

If you’re looking for something similar for your desk, have a look at this cute hanging planter, which totally is going on my wishlist as well!

Inspirational Art

Lastly, I added an inspiring print that reads, “Make your heart the prettiest thing about you.” This reminds me daily that the essence of my work is deeply heartfelt and that my sensitivity is my strength.

For instance, have a look at these inspirational posters for entrepreneurs on Amazon to brighten up your space.

Deeper Self-Care Practices for HSP Entrepreneurs

However, your physical environment is only the first step to build yourself up as a highly sensitive entrepreneur. You also need more positive self-care practices for your mental health and nervous system regulation throughout the day. Here are some ways I’ve improved my workday:

Emotional Check-Ins

Throughout each workday, I now pause periodically to genuinely check in with myself. How am I feeling? Is there tension in my body? If I’m anxious or overwhelmed, I allow myself to step away, even for a few minutes, to breathe, meditate, or simply sit quietly until I feel more grounded. It doesn’t have to take more than five minutes to reset my energy.

Documenting Success

I bought a journal and started journaling my successes and positive feedback regularly. On days when self-doubt creeps in, I can revisit these entries. They remind me of my value and the impact I’ve made, helping to balance the harsh voice of my inner critic when I receive not so positive feedback.

Setting Stronger Boundaries

I’ve learned that as an highly sensitive entrepreneur, clear boundaries are crucial. I’ve defined my work hours, explicitly communicated them to clients, and carved out time for rest and self-care. It was uncomfortable initially, but the payoff has been profound, reducing feelings of burnout significantly.

Letting Go: The Toughest Yet Most Liberating Act

One of the most challenging yet empowering acts for highly sensitive entrepreneurs is letting go of collaborations or client relationships that no longer align with your emotional and professional well-being. It can be incredibly difficult to step away from partnerships that drain your energy or constantly leave you feeling inadequate or overwhelmed. While it’s natural to worry about disappointing others or seeming overly sensitive, choosing to prioritize your mental health and happiness is crucial. Making room for healthier, more supportive relationships and projects can greatly enhance your overall sense of fulfillment and peace in your work.

Self-Compassion is an Ongoing Journey

Building yourself up as a highly sensitive entrepreneur isn’t a destination you reach and then never have to think about again. It’s a continuous process of reflection, adjustment, and gentle self-care. I’ve come to accept that even though I’m skilled at what I do, there will always be feedback that hurts or days where I question myself. My goal is no longer perfection: it’s kindness, patience, and growth.

If you remember just one thing from reading this, let it be this: You are enough, exactly as you are. Your sensitivity is not a flaw: it’s your biggest power. You deserve the same compassion, understanding, and kindness you give to others, and you absolutely have the strength to give it to yourself.

You’re not alone, even if it sometimes feels that way. Reach out, build your emotional toolkit, surround yourself with reminders of your worth, and always remember: you’re doing an incredible job, precisely because of who you are.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• How To Supercharge Your Income Without Overworking Yourself
• Entrepreneurship As A Highly Sensitive Person: The Do’s & Don’ts
• 4 Ways To Have More Confidence In Yourself
• I’m A Highly Sensitive Person: Should I Start A Business?
• How The Law Of Attraction Influenced My Career

In this article, we collaborated with AI, meaning that the input and stories are original human ideas, but the text itself has been created with support from AI. All AI content is being edited and factchecked by our editor.

The post How to Build Yourself Up as a Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur (When Nobody Else Does) appeared first on HiSensitives.

Welcome to a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, tailored for the highly sensitive and empathic souls among us. In this blog, we delve into 50 inspiring quotes that illuminate the path to overcoming limiting beliefs, guiding us towards unlocking our fullest potential.

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

As highly sensitive people and empaths, we often find ourselves entangled in a web of limiting beliefs. These beliefs, rooted deep in our psyche, can sometimes prevent us from realizing our true potential. Moreover, they whisper doubts and fears, holding us back from embracing the fullness of our abilities and the richness of our experiences. But what if we could break free from these chains?

In the spirit of empowerment and self-discovery, we’ve curated a collection of 50 inspiring quotes about overcoming limiting beliefs. These words of wisdom are not just phrases; they are beacons of light, guiding us towards a path of self-liberation and growth. As you read through these quotes, I invite you to reflect on their meanings and how they resonate with your personal journey. Let them be the gentle nudge you need to start challenging and reshaping the beliefs that no longer serve you.

Before you discover the quotes, we’d like to invite you to explore our membership for HSPs and empaths! Here, you can connect with like minded people on personal growth in a non-overwhelming social media environment!

Quotes about Belief in Self and Possibility

1. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
2. “The only limits that exist are the ones in your own mind.” – Anonymous
3. “Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” – Jamie Paolinetti
4. “You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” – Andrew Murphy
5. “The mind is everything. What you think you become.” – Buddha
6. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson
7. “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” – Henry Ford
8. “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.” – Richard Bach
9. “Don’t limit your challenges; challenge your limits.” – Jerry Dunn
10. “If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.” – Louise Hay

Quotes about Overcoming Fear and Doubt

1. “You have to believe in yourself when no one else does – that makes you a winner right there.” – Venus Williams
2. “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort
3. “The sky is not the limit. Your mind is.” – Lynette Simeone
4. “Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” – Albert Einstein
5. “What you think, you create. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you become.” – Anonymous
6. “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow is our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
7. “You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” – Deepak Chopra
8. “Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” – Mark Victor Hansen
9. “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” – Richard Branson
10. “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Quotes about Pursuing Growth and Change

1. “Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” – Roy T. Bennett
2. “To achieve something you’ve never had before, you must do something you’ve never done before.” – Anonymous
3. “The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” – Molière
4. “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh
5. “Belief creates the actual fact.” – William James
6. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James
7. “It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” – Sir Edmund Hillary
8. “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn
9. “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” – Mahatma Gandhi
10. “There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” – Alexander the Great

Quotes about Embracing Possibility and Success

1. “If you can dream it, you can do it.” – Walt Disney
2. “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” – Zig Ziglar
3. “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis
4. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
5. “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
6. “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale
7. “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
8. “If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
9. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
10. “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” – Stephen Covey

Quotes about Personal Power and Inner Strength

1. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
2. “Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.” – Les Brown
3. “The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” – Joel Brown
4. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
5. “Your life is controlled by what you focus on.” – Tony Robbins
6. “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein
7. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities!” – Norman Vincent Peale
8. “Limitations are often just an illusion.” – Michael Phelps
9. “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem
10. “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” – Robin Williams

Do You Want To Transform Your Limiting Beliefs?

Each of these quotes about limiting beliefs carries a profound message about the power of belief and the potential for change. As highly sensitive individuals and empaths, understanding and working through our limiting beliefs is crucial for our emotional and mental well-being. Moreover, it’s about recognizing our unique strengths and embracing our sensitivity as a gift, not a hindrance.

Over in the HiSensitives Membership, we dedicated our focus to the topic of ‘Limiting Beliefs’ together with wellness and mindset coach Tiara Ariel. We explore this theme deeply, offering insights, tools, and strategies to help our members identify, heal, and transform their limiting beliefs. Our community of like-minded individuals provides support, encouragement, and a safe space for growth and exploration.

If you’re looking to delve deeper into this topic and embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, we invite you to join the HiSensitives Membership. Here, you’ll find a wealth of resources and a community of empathic and sensitive individuals, all on a journey to overcoming their limiting beliefs and unlocking their true potential. Join us today and take the first step towards a more empowered and limitless version of yourself.

Together, we can break the barriers of limiting beliefs and soar towards new heights of personal growth and fulfillment.

Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Let that step be your decision to join us in transforming your limiting beliefs into limitless possibilities.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• 50 Inspirational Quotes For Highly Sensitive People And Empaths
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• 10 Common Signs that You’re Struggling With Limiting Beliefs
• Limiting Beliefs & Manifestation: What You Need To Know
• Breaking the Chain: Understanding Generational Limiting Beliefs

Disclaimer: In this article, we collaborated with AI while writing articles, meaning that we used it as a personal assistant to provide valuable information to our readers. The personal touch through stories and personal examples and the editing of the article have been performed by the author.

The post 50 Empowering Quotes to Overcome Limiting Beliefs for Highly Sensitive People and Empaths appeared first on HiSensitives.

Do you want to manifest your dream life? Letting go of limiting beliefs is an important first step in manifestation. In this article, we delve into the world of limiting beliefs and manifestation.

Estimated reading time: 1 minute

Manifestation—the art of bringing your deepest desires to life—is a concept embraced by many who seek personal growth.

It’s the process where thoughts and intentions take shape in the real world, a journey that can lead you to the life you’ve always wanted.

However, it’s not just about wishing and waiting; it’s about aligning every part of your being with the future you envision.

But what happens when that alignment is disrupted by the silent saboteurs known as limiting beliefs?

These are the often subconscious notions that whisper words of doubt and paint our capabilities with the brush of inadequacy.

They are the hurdles in the race towards our goals, the invisible barriers to our success.

Understanding the interplay between manifestation and limiting beliefs is not just an exercise in self-improvement—it’s a transformative realization that can redefine the trajectory of your personal growth.

Let’s delve into this intricate dance of desires and doubts, and discover how you can emerge empowered and in tune with your true potential.

The Basics of Manifestation

To manifest is to bring into being.

In the realm of personal growth, it’s about turning the intangible—a thought, a dream, a wish—into tangible reality.

At its core, manifestation is influenced by the law of attraction, a principle suggesting that ‘like attracts like’.

This means that the energy you put out into the world, through your thoughts and feelings, attracts similar energy back into your life.

Your mindset is the canvas upon which the picture of your life is painted.

A mindset attuned to positivity and potential is like fertile soil for the seeds of your desires.

But what many often overlook is the type of mindset you cultivate.

It’s not enough to want or to wish—you must believe, without the shadow of a doubt, that what you seek is within your reach.

In the following sections, we’ll uncover why your beliefs play a crucial role in this process and how identifying and addressing the limiting ones is paramount for your manifestation efforts to bear fruit.

Identifying Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are the stealthy whispers in your psyche that constrain your life’s potential.

They are the internal narratives that declare, “I can’t do this” or “I don’t deserve that.”

These beliefs are barriers, standing between you and the life you aspire to manifest.

They can stem from past experiences, societal inputs, or even self-imposed standards.

Recognizing them is the first step toward dismantling their power over your life.

They might manifest as a sense of unworthiness, a fear of success, or a belief in scarcity—that there isn’t enough of what you want to go around.

The signs that limiting beliefs are at play can be subtle: a hesitation here, a self-deprecating thought there.

They may appear as recurring patterns in your life—goals not met, opportunities not taken, or a persistent feeling that you’re not where you want to be.

Acknowledging these beliefs is uncomfortable but crucial.

In the next section, we’ll explore how these limiting beliefs interfere with the manifestation process, and more importantly, how to recognize them in action.

The Interference of Limiting Beliefs in Manifestation

Alignment is key in manifestation.

Your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs must all point in the direction of your desires.

However, limiting beliefs disrupt this harmony, creating a discord that can derail your manifesting efforts.

Imagine you’re setting sail toward the island of your dreams.

Your belief in your capability is the wind in your sails, but limiting beliefs are like a hidden undertow, pulling you off course.

They might tell you that the journey is impossible or that you’re not skilled enough to navigate the waters.

This creates resistance, making it harder to move forward, no matter how much effort you put into the sails.

Let’s consider a hypothetical scenario: You’re vying for a promotion at work.

You want it, you’ve prepared for it, but deep down, a voice insists, “You’re not leadership material.”

This belief contradicts your conscious efforts and may result in self-sabotaging behaviors, ensuring the outcome aligns with your belief, not your desire.

The interference of limiting beliefs isn’t just about missed opportunities.

It’s about the dissonance between what you consciously want and what you subconsciously believe.

This dissonance can manifest in anxiety, procrastination, or even avoidance behaviors—all of which steer you away from your intended destination.

In the upcoming section, we’ll dive into the pivotal role self-awareness plays in identifying and transforming these limiting beliefs.

The Role of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the light that illuminates the shadows where limiting beliefs lurk.

It’s the process of turning inward to observe your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with an objective curiosity.

When you become aware of the limiting beliefs that influence your actions, you gain the power to challenge and change them.

Reflective self-questioning is a tool that can unearth these deeply embedded beliefs.

Questions like “What’s holding me back?” or “Why do I feel undeserving?” can bring forth insights that are often overlooked.

By identifying these patterns of thought, you are taking the first step towards dismantling their power over your life and your manifestation process.

It’s not uncommon to uncover beliefs that no longer serve you, or that are based on outdated narratives from your past.

With self-awareness, you can choose to rewrite these stories, constructing a belief system that supports your aspirations rather than stifles them.

Remember, recognizing your limiting beliefs is not an endpoint—it’s a part of your ongoing journey of personal growth.

With each limiting belief you identify and confront, you pave the way for a more aligned, harmonious approach to manifestation.

The Power of Community in Overcoming Limitations

While the journey of overcoming limiting beliefs is a personal one, the role of a supportive community cannot be overstated.

When you surround yourself with individuals who are on similar paths, the journey becomes less daunting.

A community offers more than just support—it provides inspiration, shared wisdom, and a collective energy that can propel you forward.

In a community, you witness others facing their own limitations and breaking through them.

This collective experience not only motivates but also provides practical insights into how you might approach your own limiting beliefs.

The power of shared stories and experiences in a community setting fosters a sense of belonging and provides a rich soil for growth.

Moreover, the accountability that comes from being part of a community helps to maintain focus on your personal goals.

The encouragement from others who are also working towards overcoming their own limiting beliefs can be the catalyst for profound personal transformation.

As you connect with others, share your challenges, and celebrate your successes, you’ll find that your individual journey of personal growth is enriched.

The community becomes a mirror, reflecting not only what you are but what you have the potential to become.

Ready To Tackle Your Limiting Beliefs and Other Personal Growth Challenges?

The intertwining of limiting beliefs and manifestation is a complex dance that can either anchor you to the spot or propel you towards your dreams.

Addressing these beliefs is essential in the process of manifestation because it’s not just about what you want—it’s also about who you believe you can be.

In this exploration, we’ve touched upon the essence of manifestation, the insidious nature of limiting beliefs, and the transformative power of self-awareness and community support.

The journey is indeed personal and unique for each individual, but it’s also universal in its themes of growth, challenge, and breakthrough.

Now, as you stand at the crossroads of desire and doubt, remember that the path ahead is one of potential and possibility.

The process of overcoming limiting beliefs and embracing a life of manifestation is ongoing and filled with opportunities for learning and growth.

If this journey calls to you, if you’re ready to dive deeper and unlock the full extent of your manifesting potential by shedding your limiting beliefs, consider this an invitation.

Join our Ideal Self Membership where we in the month of November delve into the heart of limiting beliefs with wellness and mindset coach Tiara Ariel. In our membership, we offer guidance, support, and community as you navigate the path to your highest, ideal self.

It’s more than a membership; it’s a voyage towards the life you’re meant to live.

Embark on this journey with us—let’s manifest the incredible together by letting go of patterns that are not serving us anymore.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

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• How to Manifest Financial Abundance as an Empath
• Community
• How The Law Of Attraction Influenced My Career

Disclaimer: In this article, we collaborated with AI while writing articles, meaning that we used it as a personal assistant to provide valuable information to our readers. The personal touch through stories and personal examples and the editing of the article have been performed by the author.

The post Limiting Beliefs & Manifestation: What You Need To Know appeared first on HiSensitives.

Does it matter what people think of you? Too often we seek validation from others, be that from the likes we get on social media or the comments we get from the people around us. In this article, you’ll discover why it doesn’t always matter what people think of you.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Why Do We Seek Validation?

Well, it’s often because we feel better about ourselves when people like us. When we gain their approval, our sense of self-worth goes up and so too do our feelings of confidence. 

Is there anything wrong with this? Not always, no. So long as we’re not people-pleasing to gain approval, we can enjoy the attention we receive. It’s a human need to be liked so don’t feel guilty about wanting some level of approval.

But What About The People Who Judge Us? 

We are thinking of those people at work or within our other social circles that criticize us. Or those online commenters that we don’t really know, but whose words we take to heart whenever they post nasty things on our blog or social media pages.

Should we care about what such people think? No, not always.

But too often, we take to heart what such people say to us and accept their words as truth. This isn’t right.

What Should We Do When People Judge Us?

It’s very easy for people to pass judgment but it’s up to us what we do with it. We shouldn’t believe everything they say is true, and we shouldn’t assume we have to change to please them. 

If we are judged on our looks, we can make the necessary changes if we choose to. We can lose weight, buy veneers for missing teeth, and change our sense of fashion. But we should do these things because we want to and not because we are afraid of what others think of us.

We don’t have to conform to the standards they expect of us, especially if those standards are purely based on their own opinion. So, if we are happy with our appearance, be that before or after any changes we make, that should be all that matters. After all, the only person that needs to like the way we look is ourselves. 

The same thing applies to any other areas where people judgment and criticism. We don’t need to conform to the belief of others unless there is value in listening to what they have to say.

Too often, however, people can attack us with words to hide their own insecurities, as putting us down can make them feel better. In such instances, we should stand back, take perspective, and disregard any word that was meant to diminish us. 

It Doesn’t Matter What People Think Of You Because…

They don’t know you. Yes, they might know you superficially, but they don’t know why you are the way you are or why you choose to do what you do.

Yes, there are times when you might have to consider the opinion of others, especially if they have your best interests at heart. But if their words come from hate and not love, and if they make assumptions about you that aren’t true, you don’t need to listen to them.

So, Remember…

You have no obligation to believe what other people say. 

You don’t need to bend yourself to the will of those who disrespect you. 

And you don’t always need validation because the only person that really needs to like you is you!

So, don’t not make an effort to be liked. But don’t radically change who you are for the sake of pleasing others either.

Be who you are, change what you want to change, and press the mute button on those people who don’t really care about you. 

If you’d like to learn how to let go of worries about what others think of you, have a look at the book ‘Stop People Pleasing: Be Assertive, Stop Caring What Others Think, Beat Your Guilt, & Stop Being a Pushover’.

The post Why It Doesn’t Always Matter What People Think Of You appeared first on HiSensitives.

Researching your own thoughts. It sounds a bit meta, but it can really help highly sensitive people! In this blog autism coach Nikki shares a method to help you conquer your inner critic thoughts with support from ‘The Work’.

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

A little while back I was watching a vlog on YouTube. Just a regular, daily vlog that shows somebody’s life.

After a while, that somebody started talking about negative thoughts and I felt intrigued, because I too experience negative thoughts. I’m a highly sensitive overthinker and I believe I am not alone in that. So when the vlogger started to talk about ‘The Work’ and the inner critic, I was curious. And now I’ve researched the topic, I wanted to share it with you too!

What Is An Inner Critic?

Everybody I know has one: an inner critic. The inner critic could be described like a little external voice inside your head. However, it isn’t. That inner critic is nobody but ourselves. And most of the times, that inner critic can be quite useful for us in our daily lives. For instance, it can help you thrive in life, because it keeps you focused. It keeps your head in the game. Which can be so helpful when you’re at work, for instance. 

However, that inner critic can sometimes go haywire. And when that happens, it can behave cruel and mean towards us. As I said, it feels like that inner critic is a little voice, but it really is our own mind talking to ourselves.

Consequently, with everything we do, it critiques us: ‘You can’t do that, you lack the skill’. Or ‘don’t bother that friend, they think you are annoying’. Moreover, it can cause something called imposter syndrome or it may even ignite social anxiety. The inner critic wants perfectionism, when in fact, perfectionism does not even exist.

As a result, you can end up getting caught up in a net of negative thoughts. And when you are caught, it’s hard to get out of it. Your brain rewires itself in a way that it will start to believe itself. Therefore, the thoughts you create, become you. You’ll start to believe them, and when that happens, you’ll act on them.

This pattern of negativity will follow you around for the rest of your life. You’ll believe that the friend doesn’t want you around, so you’ll stop reaching out. And they’ll stop reaching out to you. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Does this sound familiar? Then you might want to discover The Work from Byron Katie to tackle your inner critic.

Byron Katie

Byron Katie is the founder of The Work. In her thirties, she was severely depressed. She went through a period of depression, anger about basically everyone and everything and she had suicidal thoughts. This period lasted almost ten years.

However she had a revelation: it was not the world around her that caused her to suffer from this, but it was in fact her own beliefs about it. She noticed a change when she started to disbelieve her thoughts and her inner critic. Consequently, this was the starting point for creating The Work.

“It’s not what happens in life that bothers us. It’s what we’re believing about it that bothers us”

Byron Katie

Byron started to rethink her thoughts about the world, instead of wanting to change the world itself. She chose to see and experience life, and reality, as it was. As a result, her inner critic could talk all it wanted, she was the one in charge of believing what it said. All thanks to The Work.

Consequently, when she did that, she noticed the beauty of the world. She got in touch with her own being. It gave her an unimaginable freedom and joy that never disappeared. 

The Work – A Powerful Way To Tackle Your Inner Critic

It’s important to remember that we can’t change our thoughts. Nor can we stop them from popping up. It’s normal. As I said, we all experience thoughts, positive and negative. It’s a part of human life. Maybe even more so for highly sensitive people, who are usually very aware of their thoughts. However, with Byron Katie’s The Work, we acknowledge that they are in fact there. 

With The Work it is possible to explore this inner critic. We look at our negative self-talk, what it is that is limiting us, what is causing us to feel stressed or what throws us off our balance. Consequently, The Work illuminates these negative thoughts so we can examine them. It’s a way of letting these thoughts come to the surface, all the way into consciousness. You can find out what is the truth for you: is this a thought, or is it something else?

The Work uses four questions, which will allow you to explore all these critiques and negative thought patterns. Moreover, you may find out that it is not the situation that causes you to feel bad, in pain, stressed or angry. It is not other people that are giving you those feelings. It is you. It’s the thoughts you’re having about that particular situation. 

Using The Work

If you consider to use The Work to tackle your inner critic, but don’t know what to expect, here’s an overview:

Putting Your Thoughts Onto Paper

The very first step of The Work is putting your inner critic thoughts onto paper: you formulate the thoughts on which you will later work on. Think of this step as creating a “starting sentence.” For this, you think about a stressful situation (and not the thought yet). Then, mentally return to the time and place of this stressful incident and give an answer to the following questions: 

1. Now that you are in this situation, time and location:
   1. Who makes you angry, confused or disappointed and why?
   2. How do you want this person to change? What do you want this person to do?
   3. Which advice would you give this person?
   4. What do you want the other person to think, say, feel or do so that you are happy?
2. What do you think of this person in this situation? Make a list of everything you think about this person.
3. What exactly of this situation do you never want to experience again?

After doing this exercise from ‘The Work’, you have put some of your inner critic thoughts into short sentences on paper. Now you are ready to start exploring these thoughts one by one with the four questions. Therefore, take a thought and run it through your head. Consequently, keep repeating the relevant thought. Repeat the unwanted thought, obstacle, or judgment that you put in a starting sentence beforehand. I’ll show you an example:

“Ellen doesn’t want me as her friend”.

If you are ready and formulated your sentence, go ahead with the four questions!

The Four Questions

The Work is a meditation practice. Now that you’ve found your one thought and put it in a sentence form, you can start working on your inner critic through The Work. Contemplate each question, one by one and one at a time. Consequently, write them down, think about them. Take your time for this process.

1. Is this true?

What is real about this? What is the truth? What’s actually happening? If this feels true for you, you can answer yes. If it doesn’t feel true, you can answer no. 

“Yes, this feels true for me. Ellen does not want me as a friend”.

2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?

Can you absolutely know that it is true? If you still think it is true, it means that you are attached to the thought. Do know that I’m not trying to change your mind, this question is for research!

“No, I don’t know if it is absolutely true. I have not asked Ellen”.

3. How do you react / what happens when you think that thought?

How is this thought controlling your behavior? Towards yourself and others? How do you treat yourself? How do you treat others when you think this thought? What are you doing? Be specific! How do you live when you believe that thought as if it were true? What images come to mind with that thought? What do you get when you live / think that thought? How does that feel inside? Where do you feel that? Where does it come in? Close your eyes, it hits you there, how far does the feeling travel further into your body? Everywhere, because it takes over you.

“This thought makes me feel alone, sad and insecure about myself. I notice myself getting out less often. Also, I don’t contact Ellen because I’m afraid of rejection. I will lose Ellen as a friend because I don’t reach out anymore. My social anxiety gets worse because of this thought. If Ellen doesn’t want me as her friend, other people might not like me either”.

4. Who would you be without that thought?

Who would you be if you had never heard that thought? How would you feel?

“Without this thought I’d reach out to Ellen. I am much better off because we’d accept each other for who we are and we’d have fun together. I would not feel insecure about myself, I’d be happier and I would not be scared of rejection”. 

Turn It Around

After the 4 questions you are going to turn the thought to yourself, then to the other and then to the opposite. Consequently, these reversals will give you the opportunity to experience other aspects of reality: 

So, if you reverse the thought to yourself, you could say:

“I don’t like myself”.

To reverse the thought to the other, you could say:

“I don’t want Ellen to be my friend”.

To reverse the thought to the opposite, you could say: 

“Ellen does want me as her friend”. 

Ask yourself, how are these sentences true? After every reverse sentence you have written down, you also should ask yourself: is it as true or more true than the original? Miraculously, the answer will always be yes. Is it not a yes just yet? Then it could be the case that you are still attached to that thought. 

Why The Work Is Great For Highly Sensitive People Dealing With A Strong Inner Critic

As a highly sensitive person, you might notice your inner critic taking over. However, know that is very common and okay to experience it this way. Nevertheless, as a highly sensitive person, you are susceptible to overstimulation. Most people will think that overstimulation will only come from external stimuli, like bright lights, hard sounds and noises and/or itchy fabrics. However, that is not always the case!

Overstimulation can also be caused by your own thoughts, made up by your inner critic. And because of that, it is helpful to be aware of this inner critic and thought patterns through The Work. Consequently, when you control your inner critic, you leave more room for positive thoughts, kindness, energy and connection. 

The Work will help you feel more satisfied with your life. As a result, negative thoughts won’t control your life anymore. You will notice them, you will examine them and you will put them to rest and walk away with much happier thoughts.

Have Fun Discovering The Work

Please know that this is a very, very short version of working with your inner critic through The Work. This shows how extensive and powerful this method is! Therefore, if you want to know more about this subject, you could find more on thework.com.

You can find all the information you need, you can find worksheets to do The Work, but you can also look up some certified The Work practitioners for when you want some extra guidance. 

Also, you may find these books very helpful while tackling your inner critic:

A Mind at Home with Itself – Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
Loving What Is – Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
A Thousand Names For Joy – Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
I Need Your Love, Is That True? – Byron Katie and Michael Katz

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Silencing Your Inner Critic With These 5 Powerful Methods
• How To Find Inner Peace As A Highly Sensitive Person
• How To Be More Present In The Here And Now As A Highly Sensitive Person

The post How To Tackle Your Inner Critic With ‘The Work’ appeared first on HiSensitives.

Being positive is a good thing, until it becomes obsessive and you don’t allow yourself to feel ‘bad’ things. In this article, certified autism coach Nikki talks about toxic positivity and why you should avoid it at all costs.

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

Positivity: it’s something we all could use in our lives, especially now that we’re facing a collective historical moment in time. People are forced to change their routines thanks to this pandemic and it’s difficult to see any perspective. Hence, we desperately need positivity!

However, positivity can also drastically turn for the worse when you’re not careful. And when that happens, it’s not helpful at all. Instead, it becomes toxic. In this blog you will learn what toxic positivity is and why it isn’t helpful for your overall well-being.

What Is Positivity?

Positivity is a commonly used term. You can type it into your Google search bar and find loads and loads of information about positivity. But what exactly is positivity? I’ll explain! 

In the literal term it means “affirming” or “agreeing”. When something is positive, it means that you agree with it as it is. Literally, positivity means consenting and having no problems with what actually is there.

However, the society we live in changed the meaning of the word somewhat. Our society has adapted the idea, that positivity means you should always focus on the beautiful aspects of life. You should be a “the glass is half full”-kind of person and stay away from negativity. You should always have a great attitude towards life and not complain about things that don’t go the way you’d like them to go.

Don’t get me wrong: it helps to look at life situations with a positive view. When you have a positive outlook on life, it might actually benefit you in multiple ways.

If you experience positive feelings, it sets the tone for becoming more creative. You are able to express your creativity and also think in a different way. Positive emotions can also make you become more flexible. You might react to things in a way you wouldn’t do if you had a negative view, which may open new doors for you. It also makes you more resilient when things become more difficult. 

Additionally, positivity reduces feelings of stress, which is also beneficial for your health. If you experience stress, it increases your blood pressure, tenses your muscles and it shoots out stress hormones like adrenaline and even cortisol (when you’re under stress for a longer period of time). I think you can imagine what that does to your health.

The ‘Good Vibes Only’ Culture

If you read all of this, you’d think that positivity is the way to go! And yes, it’s great to have a positive outlook on life. In my opinion however, our society’s view on positivity has taken a shift in the negative direction. Nowadays it’s expected of you to be that “glass half full”-kind of person. For example, when you go to social media, you’ll see a lot of hashtags like #GoodVibesOnly.

Nevertheless, hashtags and phrases like that leave no room for the wider range of emotions we as human beings are capable of feeling. There is a whole spectrum of emotions that are less positive, but they do exist. The #GoodVibesOnly-culture can quickly shift towards toxic positivity because of that. As I said, I’m all for being optimistic and I’ll always try to see the good in any situation, but sometimes it just won’t work. Sometimes you can’t see the positive side of something. Sometimes, you should feel the negative emotions instead of neglecting them. And society now tells us that those feelings are not welcome. 

What Is Toxic Positivity?

According to Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, toxic positivity is defined as “the assumption, either by one’s self or others, that despite a person’s emotional pain or difficult situation, they should only have a positive mindset or positive vibes”. This can be harmful, especially when you tend to feel these, more negative emotions, often. Or when you feel them deeply, as a lot of highly sensitive people and empaths do. You might get the idea that these feelings are bad and that therefore, it is a mistake to feel them. And this is where it gets toxic.

Our society tells us to “stay positive” when you get sick. Did you lose your job? Stay positive! Got divorced? People will tell you that there are other fish in the sea, there is no need for that depressing attitude. Phrases like these aren’t helping anyone. They are actually really bad and harmful for your mental health. 

Toxic positivity is a silencing tactic. It’s a kind of positivity that makes people ashamed for their negative feelings. It guilts people into stuffing their emotions away and it makes people build a wall around them, so they don’t have to feel bad for not showing #GoodVibesOnly. But if you do not work through your emotions, they will surface sooner or later. However, these emotions might surface in a different way. For instance, they might express themselves through anxiety, depression or even PTSD.

Internalized Toxic Positivity

Unfortunately, this kind of positivity is entwined in our society now. You can see it everywhere, on social media, tv or just in daily life. When you take a look on Instagram, for instance, you’ll see all the influencers living their best life. If something bad happens, you see people shoveling it away. They’ll say things like “somebody else might have it worse than I do, I’ll just stay positive!”. Or they’ll say that everything happens for a reason, or to just look on the bright side of life. Things will work out just fine in the end. 

Hearing or reading this on a daily basis will cause you to start believing it. And of course, a lot of things will work out just fine over time. And not every problem you encounter will be huge and can be easily resolved. But when your mind starts to believe toxic positivity and hears it repeatedly, it can turn into internalized toxic positivity. And when that happens, you might start to think that you’re not worthy of help and support. That you’ll just have to deal with it, because you’re not allowed to feel bad about it. 

Having thoughts like that can cause you to feel afraid to share your grief. You may be scared to talk to your friends about it, because they might think you’re being a Debby Downer. Moreover, you might only share the good things in life on your social media accounts. Additionally, you could start wearing a mask, so others won’t see that you’re actually hurting on the inside. 

Relearning Emotions

What we need to learn as a society, is that it’s okay to embrace the full spectrum of emotions. You can have an overall positive outlook on the world, but still feel rage, frustration, fear or sadness. Gratitude can exist alongside anxiety. Hope can exist alongside the feeling of loss. And we don’t have to feel happy and strong all the time. It’s okay to not smile for a while. Also, it’s okay to cry and perfectly okay to experience a whirlwind of feelings and acting on them. We do not need to put it away somewhere, so nobody will see them. Remember that it is a human thing to have a response to them. You do not have to hide them.

Allow yourself to feel. If you’ve had to deal with (internalized) toxic positivity it might feel strange for a while. That’s normal! You have to recalibrate your brain and that will probably take some time. But you can train your brain and give it some help to achieve some knowledge about your feelings. Whenever you notice that you dislike a situation or when you feel yourself suppressing your emotions, try to stay in that moment. Try to actually feel what it is that you are feeling. Then try to release it. You could yell or scream, cry or dance it out. But you could also journal or meditate about it, for instance.

What Is Genuine Optimism?

You can practice changing toxic positivity into genuine optimism. I have some examples for you, to help you shift your thought pattern. Here are some ways to rephrase your thoughts and support towards others:

• “Being negative won’t help you” > “It’s important to let it out”
• “Good vibes only” > “I love you through all your emotional states”
• “You’ll get over it” > “You are resilient and even if it takes a while, you will get through it”
• “Other people are struggling more” > “You are not alone and I will support you”
• “Crying won’t help” > “It’s okay to cry, we all do it”
• “Just stay positive” > “Things are tough right now, can I do anything for you?”

You can use these examples on yourself, when you notice you’re in a bad place and feel shame or guilt about it. However, you can also use these if you see a friend, family member or colleague struggling. With these little shifts in your thought pattern you’ll stop forcing people to feel positive about things, and you’ll acknowledge their actual feelings. This will help them to go through them instead of hiding them away deep down in their soul. 

Allow Yourself To Feel What You Need To Feel

I know that a lot of highly sensitive people have dozens and dozens of empathy to give and will probably know what it’s like to feel all the feels. But you might not actually see it return to you. You might be the recipient of toxic positivity. People might have said to you to stop being so sensitive and “just get over it already”.

I hope this post will make you feel a little bit more validated. It’s really not you, it’s them. It’s society. And you do not have to get over it. You’re allowed to feel. Take your time to work through it. To feel sad. To cry. Using positivity to bypass emotions does not heal you. Accepting and expressing them will. Because if you’ll let it out, you will have more room for genuine optimism.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Protect Yourself From Toxic People With This Effective Method
• 12 Common Signs Of Narcissistic Abuse
• The Ultimate Guide To Happiness For Empaths
• How To Formulate Strong Personal Growth Objectives

The post What Is Toxic Positivity And Why Isn’t It Helpful? appeared first on HiSensitives.

Are you struggling with silencing your inner critic? In this blog, I share 5 powerful methods on how to tackle that inner bully once and for all!

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Estimated reading time: 9 minutes

Are you constantly bashing yourself? Do you always talk badly about yourself, both to other people as well as in your mind?

You might be dealing with a strongly present inner critic. It can be truly exhausting to deal with this issue. In fact, I myself am dealing with this too.

For years I’ve been telling myself that I am not good enough, that I am worthless, that I am less deserving of good things than others.

Now that I am 28 years, I have decided that enough is enough. Time to tackle that inner critic once and for all! Therefore, I started researching ways to manage to silence that nagging voice inside me.

In my search of methods that are effective for silencing your inner critic and reduce overthinking, I have found some super helpful tips that I’d like to share with you in this blog.

However, before we dive into the methods for silencing your inner critic, let’s have a look at what an inner critic actually is.

What Is An Inner Critic?

The inner critic is the voice in your mind that has taken the role of the evaluator.

It evaluates every single step you take, everything you say, how you act around others, how you divide your day and it is in fact truly obsessed with you.

This voice isn’t going to sugarcoat its opinion. It is going to launch it at you, not caring about how it is going to make you feel.

Many of us might experience this as frustrating and want to get rid of our inner critic once and for all. However, it is important to notice why the inner critic is there in first place.

Why Do We Have An Inner Critic?

Good news: the inner critic is there for a reason, believe it or not!

Actually, our inner critic is trying to protect us from shame and pain by preparing us for what others may tell us. 

In fact, your inner critic helps you at a young age, when your parents tell you how to dress in order to fit in, when your church provides you with guidelines on how to act properly in society or when you are being called out on your behavior. It remembers all that criticism and tries to help you to improve yourself according to the standards you have learned. Moreover, it wants you to feel accepted and loved by others.

Therefore, the inner critic can be useful and the original thought behind it is logical. Your inner critic helps you to feel accepted and liked by others.

When Should You Consider Silencing Your Inner Critic?

While the initial thought behind the inner critic function is good, there is a downside to it. It does not always know when to stop. The inner critic may not be aware when enough is enough.

In fact, the inner critic may start to take over the thoughts in your mind and desperately try to control your every move.

Once you feel that your inner critic is underminding you and limiting you from living your best life, it is a sign. That is when you know it is time to start silencing your inner critic. 

Not silencing it 100%, but giving it a less prominent position in your mindspace. Remember, the function of the inner critic is still useful to protect you from pain and shame.

5 Powerful Methods For Silencing Your Inner Critic

Now that you are aware of the inner critic and its function, it is time to truly start tackling it.

Below, I have listed 5 methods that I have found in my search for tips on silencing your inner critic.

1. Monitor Your Thought Patterns

Before you start silencing your inner critic, it is important to know what your inner critic actually is telling you throughout the day. After all, you can’t silence your inner critic when you don’t really know when it is present.

Therefore, the first step in order to learn silencing your inner critic, is to monitor your thought patterns.

For example, you may consider trying this exercise, which I did a year ago with my life coach. It is an effective method to monitor your thought patterns.

Awareness is the first step towards change and the same goes for your inner critic. Therefore, try to become aware of your inner critic and what it is telling you.

2. Listen To Your Inner Critic

One of the most powerful methods I discovered, is to consciously allow your inner critic to talk to you every now and then. Usually, we tend to try to push away negative thought patterns, because they are unpleasant.

However, if you choose to give your inner critic 2-3 minutes to express themselves, while you write down everything they are telling you, you will notice something funny:

Your inner critic usually always tells you the same old story. It doesn’t really have new input for you. In fact, it just seems to shout the same thing over and over again throughout the day. Most likely, you will recognize many of the thoughts from method 1.

Once you have let your inner critic talk to you and written down everything it told you, you can visualize thanking them for their input and that you’ll consider it. Just like you would do when a friend would tell your their concerns about something. After your ‘talk’ wave them goodbye.

That’s when its time to (re-)evaluate the thougths on paper, with the help from your positive voices. Take each thought and evaluate it from a positive angle. 

• Is it true?
• Is it new or repetitive?
• What is the function of this thought?
• Where does this thought origin from?
• How will I respond to this thought in the future?

3. Give Your Inner Critic A Persona

If your inner critic won’t stop ‘bullying’ you with the same old thought patterns, you might consider this method. One of the most powerful methods I have discovered on silencing your inner critic, is to give your inner critic a persona.

At first, it will feel weird and you will feel a bit crazy doing it. I know I did. However, it has helped me greatly to do this exercise, which is why I am sharing it with you.

For example, my persona is a strict and dominant business man in his suit, who is sitting at a meeting table and not giving room for anyone else to talk. I imagine him as this obnoxious know-it-all who just makes random claims without supporting them with evidence. I call him my inner bully.

Whenever my inner bully is acting up and taking over the meeting I literally call him out mentally. I tell him that his input is not supported by evidence and that other members of the team also should have a say in this. That is when I am giving room to the other, more positive thoughts in my mind (while ‘the inner bully is sitting in the back of the meeting room for his timeout).

It sounds really strange, but I promise you that this visualization of your thought patterns is incredibly powerful! Therefore, I am challenging you to label all your inner voices (both positive and negative) with a persona and to call them out if needed.

4. Practice Affirmations

Just like you nurture your body by eating healthy, exercising and sleeping enough, it is important to feed your mind with positive thoughts.

One of the most powerful ways I have found to tackle my inner bully, is to repeat affirmations every day. I have created personal affirmation statements that build me up and that often are going against what my inner bully is shouting.

These affirmations pop up on my phone with the app ‘Affirm it‘. However, you can also write down your affirmations on a post it and put it on your mirror. Or you could tell it to yourself whenever you brush your hair or take off your make-up. 

The most important thing is to truly get into the energy of your positive affirmation statement. Believe that it is true and you will feel a shift in your energy. 

However, please remember that practicing affirmations is something that should be implemented as an habit, in order to truly work well for you.

*Please note, that I am a big fan of positive psychology, because I have already healed the core of my challenges through therapy with a professional. If you are struggling with dark thoughts and trauma, I highly recommend you to first heal those traumas, before moving on to positive psychology.

5. Reflect On Your Achievements

The final method that I’d like to share with you on silencing your inner critic, is to reflect on your achievements.

We often tend to be incredibly happy and grateful about a certain achievement one day, while forgetting about it a couple of weeks later and moving on. However, when something bad happens in our life, we seem to remember it so much longer.

Therefore, I have a journal where I write down 3 daily successes and achievements every day. Whenever my inner critic is dominating my mind and nothing else seems to work, I grab my journal and read through the different achievements.

This method is incredibly powerful to remind the inner critic that you have been successful, despite their predictions and influence. 

Are You Dealing With A Strong Inner Critic?

Now that you’ve read more about the inner critic, what its function is and methods on silencing your inner critic, I am curious to hear from you:

Do you struggle with a strongly present inner critic? What have you tried so far to reduce your inner critic?

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• How To Tackle Your Inner Critic With ‘The Work’
• How To Silence Overthinking When You Are A Highly Sensitive Person
• How To Find Inner Peace As A Highly Sensitive Person
• Release Anger And Resentment Within 10 Minutes with this Meditation

The post Silencing Your Inner Critic With These 5 Powerful Methods appeared first on HiSensitives.

Is your past haunting you? Forgive yourself by applying this one wisdom to your life. It will change the way you look at mistakes.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Do you struggle with things that have happened in the past?

Are you continuously trying to forget the memories attached to certain traumatic experiences?

Do you blame yourself for certain aspects of those experiences? 

Time to let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself! In this blog, I’ll share one wisdom with you, that helped me tremendously to accept my past mistakes and move on. Learn to forgive yourself and live a happier life with this amazing wisdom.

Does Your Past Cause You Anxiety?

If you are anything like me, you suffer from anxiety on a regular basis. Highly sensitive people and empaths have a tendency to suffer from anxiety more frequently. As a result, the most unproductive and destructive thoughts enter our minds on a regular basis. This can result in negative self-talk and low self-esteem. 

When I experienced that unresolved issues from the past continuously entered my mind, I found it to be a major trigger for my anxiety. Oftentimes, I found myself going to bed, dwelling about past mistakes for hours. Although I could not change anything that I had done or allowed, I would beat myself up for it over and over again.

Why This Is Destructive

Think about it. You have gone through something traumatic and feel incredibly bad for putting yourself in that situation. Then, you dig up that experience over and over again, blaming yourself for what happened to you. Why are you so hard on yourself?

I know how tough it is to not do this anymore, as I have been guilty of it for a long time too. However, I figured that by dwelling on the past, I would punish myself repeatedly, even years after the incident. As if the experience itself wasn’t bad enough already?

Therefore, I knew that I had to find a way to learn about forgiveness towards oneself. In this discovery process, I found one wisdom that helped me tremendously to let go of the past and move on.

So, are you ready to forgive yourself for past mistakes? Apply this mindset to your life:

The One Wisdom To Learn To Forgive Yourself

When you know better, do better. -Maya Angelou

It is such a simple sentence, yet so powerful. I came across this wisdom in one of Oprah’s podcasts. Here, she talks about how she learned this wisdom from Maya Angelou.

So, how does this wisdom relate to learning to forgive yourself? It is simple: When you know better, you do better.

Every mistake in life that we make, is there to teach us a lesson. This lesson helps us to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Accordingly, we do better. We know better, so we do better.

How To Forgive Yourself With This Wisdom

I can imagine that you struggle with applying this to your past, so let me give you an example:

For many years, I have been blaming myself for having weak boundaries. I was a true pushover and said yes to many things while my heart and body said no. As a result, I often dwelled in the past, blaming myself for having no self-respect and letting myself down. Whenever I had the chance to dwell in the past, I did and it became a major anxiety trigger.

However, Maya Angelou’s wisdom has helped me to embrace the past situations. In fact, they have been learning moments for me, so that I can do better. Moreover, I actually started feeling grateful for them, rather than bashing these experiences. As a result of these experiences, I am stronger than ever and I know that I will become better at not being a pushover anymore. I know better, so I do better.

Apply It To Your Own Situations

Now that you are aware of this wisdom, try to apply it to your past. Write down every situation that you are struggling with regularly.

Once you have done that, it is time to evaluate what you learned from each situation. How has the knowledge from those moments enhanced your character?

By being aware of the positive learning aspects from these experiences, you can look at them from the perspective of a survivor, rather than a victim.

You survived these situations, came stronger out of them and learned from them. You know better, so you do better now.

Ready To Forgive Yourself?

Whenever you feel anxious or upset about your past and its negative experiences, remember this wisdom and the things you learned from the experiences. 

You know that through these experiences, you are more aware of warning signs in the future. When you encounter a similar situation, you won’t go blind into it, because you know better. The survivor in you protects you!

So, are you ready to forgive yourself? Apply this wisdom and see how your anxiety decreases!

If you’d like to learn more about this wisdom, watch Oprah’s explanation below:

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

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• Common Mistakes Many Highly Sensitive People Make

The post This One Wisdom Helps You To Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes appeared first on HiSensitives.

Are you highly sensitive and/or empathic and struggling with negative self-talk? Fight it once and for all with this effective method!

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Do you talk negatively to yourself on a daily basis?

Are your insecure thoughts taking control over your life and knocking you down?

Do you sometimes wish that you could shut off your mind and find some peace from your anxiety?

Good news! There are ways to re-program your mindset. In this blog, I explain how you can tackle negative self-talk once and for all. With the effective method discussed in this blog, you will set your first steps towards a happier and more peaceful mind.

What Is Negative Self-talk And Where Does It Origin From?

Before diving into how to stop negative self-talk, let’s look at what negative self-talk is defined as by psychologists. Psychology Today defines self-talk as the inner voice, which basically runs on autopilot all day long, providing you with monologues. These monologues can be both positive and negative.

Negative self-talk occurs within all of us, but more frequently within people with depression and anxiety. Within them, the inner dialogue becomes self-destructive and dysfunctional, to a degree where the monologue is extremely critical and attacking.

As highly sensitive people and empaths are prone to experience anxiety, negative self-talk often is a challenge they have to deal with, too. 

Awareness Is The Key To Change

By becoming aware of your inner voices and the effect they have on your emotions and daily life, you can start making the necessary changes to your mindset. For this  you should know more about schema therapy and schema modes.

The different voices within you, are called schema modes. These schema modes are the emotional states and coping mechanisms we experience throughout the day. Usually, these are triggered by certain situations that we are more sensitive towards. 

Throughout the entire day, some of our schema modes are inactive, while others have been activated through relatable life situations and occupy our mood and behavior. 

In psychology, there have been identified 10 different schema modes. You can find a complete list of them – including descriptions of each mode – here.

Negative Self-talk Exercise: Who Sits In The Front Seat Of Your bus?

Now that you know the theory behind inner monologue, it is time to identify which thoughts are predominant in your mind. Afterwards, you can relate them to the different schema modes. By being aware of your schema mode, you can start taking directed action towards a healthier mindset.

In order to identify your thoughts, I’d like to share an amazing exercise with you, that I did with my life coach, when I first analyzed my inner voices.

This exercise enables you to visualize your inner monologue by placing your thoughts (passengers) in a bus.

You are the bus driver and all these passengers are telling you where to go. However, you hear the passengers in the front more clearly than those in the back.

It works the same with your thoughts. Some are louder in your mind than others. Therefore, it is good to become aware of which voices are your front seat-passengers at the moment and which voices are placed all the way in the back of ‘your bus’. Let’s dive in!

What You’ll Need:

For this exercise, you need the following items:

1. A big paper with a bus drawn on it. Feel free to download this drawing and print it out.
2. Post-its
3. Markers

Step 1: Pick A Situation

The first thing you need to do, is to pick a situation in your life, where you often experience negative self-talk. Make it specific, so that the following steps become easier.

I, for example, picked the following situation: Oftentimes, I am very insecure about my business and entrepreneurial skills. In those moments, negative self-talk takes control within me and I feel more paralyzed to undertake action. I formulated the following situation for myself:

“How do I feel in the moments, where I am working on my business?”

As you can see, I picked a specific situation in life and used it as a base for the rest of the exercise. Go ahead and think of a scenario now, where your negative self-talk is predominant.

Step 2: Write Down All Your Thoughts

Now that you have your situation clear, it is time to write down all thoughts, that usually pop up in your mind during this situation. These can be both positive and negative thoughts. Nothing is wrong and all answers are good, remember that. It’s your mind we’re talking about!

So, take your time and put each thought on your post-it. 

For my situation, some common thoughts where:

• Not good enough;
• Have to be succesful;
• Am going to fail;
• I feel inspired inspired.

In total, I had approximately 31 different thoughts that I had to place in my bus, just to give you an idea of how far you can go with this.

Let’s get started. Write down all your thoughts. Both positive thoughts and those that pop up in your mind when you are struggling from negative self-talk.

Step 3: Give Your Thoughts An Archetype

Now that you have all your post-its with your thoughts in front of you, it is time to attach an archetype to them. At the bottom of this article, you can find a complete list of 300 archetypes to choose from.

Here’s how I archetyped some of my thoughts:

• Not good enough -> Bully
• Have to be succesful; -> Nerd
• Am going to fail; -> Loser
• I feel inspired. -> Idealist

Once you named all your thoughts, you might see that some archetypes show themselves more often than others. 

Step 4: Place Your Current Thoughts In Your Bus

Now that you have all your thoughts in front of you, it is time to place them in the bus. Think of your situation and place the loudest thoughts in front of the bus. The most silent ones go all the way in the back.

Once you have placed all your thoughts, look at your bus. What do you recognize? Which thoughts are the most loud at the moment? Take a picture of your bus as it is right now.

Warning; this can be very confronting. When I did this, I was truly shocked by how much negative self-talk is taking over my mind and it was quite emotional for me. Therefore, I recommend you, to do this exercise at a moment, where you have time to let your emotions flow freely without judgement from others.

Step 5: Time To Kick Out Some Passengers!

Now that you have your bus in front of you, it is time to visualize your ideal situation. 

Which passengers do you want where? Who do you not want in your bus at all? Which ones are allowed to be there, but all the way in the back? 

When I did this exercise, I decided to kick out some really self-destructive thoughts. However, I kept some ‘negative’ ones, which in some way still are useful for my professional growth, all the way in the back of the bus. Initially, these thoughts were sitting in my front seats. 

Moreover, I placed the encouraging thoughts in my front seat. 

After this round, you will notice that your bus looks completely different. Take a picture of it again.

I Am Finished With This Exercise, Now What?

Now that you have confronted your mindset with your two busses, you can start to undertake action to re-program your inner monologue. 

Look at all your thoughts and try to relate them to one of these 10 schema modes (which I talked about earlier in this article). By being able to place them within these modes, you will know, what schema modes are more common within you. Once you know that, you can continue your personal growth journey and eliminate negative self-talk, by finding techniques to tackle your most predominant schema mode(s). Also, you will know which schema modes require more attention. 

Every now and then, look at your ideal bus and analyze how far you have come. If you do this on a structural basis and become more aware of the voices within you once they occur, you will soon notice a change in mindset. This will help you to truly thrive in life. Good luck with waving negative self-talk goodbye once and for all!

Once you have become truly aware of your inner critic, you can silence this voice with these 5 powerful methods.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• The Ultimate ‘Pick Yourself Back Up’ Guide For Empaths
• Radical Self-Love Guide For Highly Sensitive People And Empaths
• Archetypes Of Your Soul: Life Path And Soul Purpose
• How To Find Inner Peace As A Highly Sensitive Person

The post Struggling With Negative Self-Talk? Try This Simplistic Approach! appeared first on HiSensitives.

Are you thinking things over and over again until you find yourself exhausted? In this blog, you’ll get tips on how to silence overthinking!

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

If you are anything like me, you overthink… a lot. Highly sensitive people tend to think thoughts that go into dimensions where no one’s ever been before. I am not over-exaggerating, it’s true! If you are highly sensitive, you totally get what I mean.

Just thinking a thought and then letting it go seems like mission impossible. In fact, that’s how it felt to me for a long time. I was so exhausted from the ‘simple’ act of thinking. People looked at me and my daily life as a student, and couldn’t get how I possibly could be that exhausted! However, they didn’t see what was going on inside my head…

I was worrying about my past, my present and my future, all at the same time. Actually, it was pretty chaotic in my mind back then. So what has changed since then? I have learned several techniques that help me to be more in the present and that taught me how to silence overthinking.

In this blog, I share practical tips on how to silence overthinking. I find these tips to be very useful on days where I lean towards overthinking it. Therefore, I hope that they will have the same effect on you!

1. Deal With Past Traumas

The first thing I did in order to silence overthinking, was to deal with past traumas. Easier said than done, I get it! However, this is the first step in your journey towards a happier you! It certainly was for me. 

You might wonder why on earth you would open up old wounds and feel the pain all over again. Ask yourself; would you rather prefer a quick but intense pain, or a long-term aching pain that never stops? I bet most people choose the first option. 

In fact, when you choose NOT to heal your past traumas, you are hurting yourself over and over again each day. The pain tries to subside in your thoughts. Hence, the overthinking!

Working on healing from your past bad experiences is a very vulnerable but also empowering time of your life. Whereas it feels physically and mentally exhausting at first, you’ll soon feel so much relieve when you finally understand certain thought patterns, their source and how to tackle them.

How To Deal With Your Trauma

There are multiple ways in which you can face your demons. For me, the most effective way to start healing past traumas, was to see a therapist. My therapist helped me to dig up the stuff that really hurt me in the past and see where certain thought patterns originate from. In fact, the knowledge from these sessions was the very base for my emotional healing and start towards a better life.

For example, when I find myself in situations where I overthink, I almost immeditately am able to identify where the thought process started. 99% of the time it originates from one of my limiting beliefs about myself. Thanks to my therapist, I became very aware of these limiting beliefs.

If you prefer to do the work on your own, you might consider to try guided meditations. Often, they guide you in certain directions and help you to look at your situations from a different angle. Perhaps, you could try this meditation:

2. Become Emotionally Balanced

After understanding what my limiting beliefs are and where they come from, I started working on tackling them. For this, I had to become more emotionally balanced.

It is a shame to be reacting to every single trigger around you, while sometimes it is better to sit back and think rationally. Back when I started working on my emotional balance, I reacted to everything and everyone. Instead of rationalizing the input first, I immediately leaned towards my emotional side. This could sometimes result in unneccesary conflicts and misunderstandings. In fact, this was a sign that I was out of balance emotionally.

If you feel the same way, chances are big that you currently lean more towards the emotional at first and the rational when the heat is over. And that’s when the overthinking starts. Could I have said something differently? Did I offend the other person with my emotion? What if they are mad at me? All of these thoughts occur when you’re rushing into emotions without reassuring if they are justified.

So how can you get more emotionally balanced when you feel all the feels? In this blog, I share the methods that I used to become more emotionally balanced. You might want to take a look at it. 

In the end, it is all about balance. Emotions are good and should definitely be felt, but sometimes it is good to confirm with rationality first, if you are interpreting things the right way. In most situations, we interpret what someone says or does in a different way than they intended it to come across. It would be a shame to shed tears on something that in the end is just happening inside your mind, right?

3. Maintain Good Habits

Once I felt that I was more emotionally stable, I decided to maintain my (mental) health. Our health needs to be checked up on regularly, just like a car. It needs to be maintained. Therefore, once you feel more at peace with your past and are more emotionally stable, I highly recommend you to develop healthy habits.

For me, I decided to make conscious self care a daily priority and I also chose to eat healthier and exercise more. This has helped me to maintain a rather stable level of happiness. Of course, I still do have bad days sometimes, but I manage to deal with them much better now. I believe that my conscious attitude with regards to self-care and good health have much to do with this. Moreover, maintaining my (mental) health has helped me to silence overthinking to a great degree. 

If you want to improve your health, you might want to try one of these free apps to help you with that.

4. Journalling

One of my favorite methods for how to silence overthinking is to journal. Once I acknowledge that I am overthinking it, I grab my journal and write down my thoughts. This is an amazing technique to see where your thought started and to understand where it is heading. Also, it helps you greatly to get the thoughts out of your mind. 

If you are someone who struggles with overthinking before bedtime, I highly recommend you to journal before going to bed. In this way, you can empty your mind and sleep more peacefully.

Highly sensitive people are known to often be very creative, so why not get a bullet journal which you can design according to your own needs?

5. Meditate

I swear by meditation. It truly is one of the best ways for me to silence overthinking. Not only does it help me to be more present in the here and now, but it also is a fantastic way to tackle anxiety. Overthinking and anxiety often go hand in hand for me, so once I meditate, I tackle both of these challenges.

There are different ways to meditate and there are meditations out there for everyone. I myself prefer spiritual meditations, but I can imagine that many of you want something that is less spiritually loaded. In that case, I highly recommend you to download the app Calm, which is a mindfulness– and meditation app that brings you to the here and now.

If you want to give meditation a go right after reading this article, you might want to try this meditation:

6. Yoga

Finally, one method which I truly love (but do wayy too rarely) is Yoga! Yoga helps you, just like meditation, to be in the here and now. Also, being consciously active with your body helps you to silence overthinking. 

Often, doing Yoga brings along wise lessons which you can take with you into your daily life. It is a beautiful activity that truly aligns mind and body. Therefore, I highly recommend you to try Yoga when you feel that you overthink too much.

Ready To Silence Overthinking? You Can Do It!

Right now, you might overthink this and wonder if you will manage to silence overthinking. Believe me, you can! I was very anxious and continuously overthinking everything back when I first started my journey towards a happier life. Also, I criticized myself continuously. Now, I feel so at peace with who I am and what I do. It has been a long road and I still am not there, but the inner peace the activities above gave me is amazing!

If I can make it, you can make it! Believing in yourself and the progress is the first step. Good luck with your journey towards a more calm life!

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Silencing Your Inner Critic With These 5 Powerful Methods
• How To Master Your Emotions When You Are Highly Sensitive
• How To Maintain Your Mental Health As An Empath
• The Secrets to Balancing Work and Family Life for Highly Sensitive People

The post How To Silence Overthinking When You Are A Highly Sensitive Person appeared first on HiSensitives.