Hi Alex, it’s been a year and Nikki hasn’t answered publicly. I am puzzled by this “social” question as well. But I think, reading what you described, I was able to realized, that it will in all likilyhood be ASD. Please don’t forget that it is also perfectly possible for you to be both, but if I had to pick one, I’d pick and concentrate on ASD.

Hi Marcy! I very much relate to you on this! You aren’t alone! I’ve heard from others who also relate. I’m not formally diagnosed with autism but highly likely. Had a couple people such as a counsellor mention HSP and family mentioned (at the time Asperger’s). I’ve been encouraged to get a proper evaluation to see (as I’m taking university courses and may need accommodations/struggle with).

I think the idea of being stressed in groups is the overstimulation, so much to take into consideration. We probably have been conditioned to overthink our relationship to people based on reactions. Have you heard of ‘masking’? Starting to learn about it but basically there’s these social norms we’re around that aren’t natural to us, so it’s as if we have to act, with can be anxiety inducing and exhausting..hence rather avoided. But when in a safe environment where you feel can be yourself! There’s not that pressure…Now, I’m not an expert on this and I’m not saying you are one or the other, but I have heard that in autism it can be one extreme or the other. Example some over stare (I knew someone who used to do that, which was very uncomfortable) and yes, there can be over sharing. I relate to you on that. I’d suggest reading into it more, by looking up specifics such as masking with autism and social interactions. I hope that helps! Feel free to ask clarification or share any comments/feedback 🙂

i don’t know you, and we will never meet. But I ‘remember’ your personal experiences, even things I had completely forgotten about. Thank you for writing this down.

However, a few days ago someone I was talking with about this suggested HSP to me instead, and while much of it rings true of my entire life, I am confused on the social aspect. I am very communicative, an oversharer, talk “too much”, and am very passionate about my favorite subjects, sometimes talking about them to a point that bores others (I think?). But, since I was a child I’ve struggled with social interaction. It’s not refreshing in and of itself, and I almost always feel “weird” and like I have the unpopular opinion or am too strong in my presentation of topics. And, while I desire to relate to others, I often find the subject coming back around to me and the world inside of my head and heart. As a child, I was considered painfully shy by my mom, and as a teen I began to use drugs to “loosen up” so I could come out of my shell and be social without severe social anxiety.

I usually have to force myself to make eye contact, and often think while doing so, “where should I be looking? Can she/he tell I’m struggling with where to look?” I will often blink a lot as if something is in my eyes or rub my eyes to be able to have an excuse to look away. In addition, when conversations end, I tend to obsess over what I said or didn’t say, what I did wrong, how people might’ve taken what I said, what they meant when they said such-and-such, and so on and so forth. It is emotionally taxing and leaves me feeling like an outcast, even amongst people who are friends and who seem to genuinely accept me despite my quirks. My heart races with anxiety and my IBS flares up when I speak to more than one person at a time (and sometimes even just one) and yet I’ve been told many, many times I am an excellent speaker and teacher, and that it’s not obvious that I’m nervous.

What I’m confused about is whether my experience of social interactions would qualify as a “deficit” pointing more to ASD than HSP, because of the emotional turmoil it causes. I can indeed be very social (which for me means I love deep one on one conversations and fail miserably at small talk, diving deep instantly at times), but social situations take a lot out of me and I have to prepare myself for them with self-talk, “just don’t say too much and you’ll be fine; don’t talk about yourself too much; try to look at people’s faces to see whether you’re talking too much,” etc. The social aspect of HSP vs ASD seems to be the most perplexing to me.

Also worth noting is that I was diagnosed BP1 as a teen, amongst other things like anxiety disorder. As a child I had a number of tics (still do today), vocal and otherwise (unnoticed except by my father who would end up irate over my throat clearing and sniffling), was panicked by certain sounds and feelings of certain materials like carpet, gagged at the sound of brushing teeth, and other sensory things. More recently (in the last 5 years) I’ve been diagnosed with cPTSD, MDD, PMDD, and GAD. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts you have to help clarify things for me. Thank you for your time!