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Highly sensitive person and autism. On the surface they look very similar, but there are differences! In this blog I will happily explain what these differences are.

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Estimated reading time: 12 minutes

For at least ten years I thought I was a highly sensitive person, and that’s actually not all that strange, because the media portrays a very narrow image of autism. If you look at some of the more known characters, like Rain Man and Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, you’d say only white cis males are autistic. Characters like these are often seen as geniuses and non-speakers.

Autism in real life is completely different from what you usually see. Hence, that’s why a lot of the traits are unknown to people. Moreover, that’s why a lot of people with autism don’t know what exactly it entails and identify as a highly sensitive person. On the other hand, masculine people may think they are autistic, while in fact they are highly sensitive. In this blog I’d like to give some clarification!

Before you move on, we invite you to check out our free community for highly sensitive people and empaths. Connect with like-minded people on the topic personal growth in a non-overwhelming, ad-free social media environment.

Here’s What You’ll Learn:

• What Is Autism?
• Are You Secretly Navigating the Challenges of Autism aka Maskin?
• Why I Think That Highly Sensitive People Are Neurodivergent
• The Similarities Between The Highly Sensitive Person Trait And Autism
  • Extremely Sensitive To External And Internal Stimuli
  • Overwhelm
  • Empathy And Intuition
• What Are The Differences Between The Highly Sensitive Person Trait And Autism?
  • Social Communication And Interaction
  • Restricted, Repetitive Behaviors
• Am I Autistic?
• We Need Sensitive Souls In This World
• Additional Literature on Autism and the Highly Sensitive Person
  • Neuro tribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity – Steve Silberman
  • The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism – Naoki Higashida
  • Loud hands: Autistic People, Speaking – Julia Bascom
  • But you don’t look autistic at all – Bianca Toeps
  • Divergent mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You – Jenara Nerenberg 
  • The Highly Sensitive: How to Find Inner Peace, Develop Your Gifts, and Thrive – Judy Dyer

What Is Autism?

Autism is a neuro-type that is not easy to describe. While the exact cause isn’t known, we do know that it is a congenital neurobiological development disorder. In short, this means that the information processing in the brain is different than that of other people.

Most people see the world in conjunction, just like one film is a coherent whole of images. Autistics usually see the world as separate photos. Hence, they see less coherence. Consequently, this makes it very difficult for them to understand what is happening around them.

The diagnosis ‘autistic disorder’ – also known as ‘classic autism’ or ‘Kanner’s syndrome’ – is no longer given. The current edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the DSM-5, only speaks of one term: Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The scientific basis for the earlier autism subtypes were insufficient. People who have had this diagnosis in the past can continue to use them, though.

Not every autistic has the same characteristics and traits. And not only are they different per person, they can also be different from time to time in one person. Moreover, they depend on someone’s mood and the situation they are in. There are, however, symptoms that occur in a large proportion of people with autism. For example, these characteristics and traits can be divided into social and communication limitations, fixed rituals, and difficulty with change.

Are You Secretly Navigating the Challenges of Autism aka Maskin?

Some people may not be aware yet that they are autistic and are highly skilled at masking. “Unmasking Autism” by Dr. Devon Price is like lifting the veil on a hidden world and talks about this topic.

Ever met someone who seems ‘just like everyone else’ but is secretly navigating the challenges of Autism? This book dives deep into that. Dr. Price combines personal stories with a touch of history and research to give us a peek into the lives of those who ‘mask’ their Autism to fit in.

It’s about the personal battles they fight, especially when things like race or gender come into play. But, this isn’t just a book about struggles. It’s packed with hands-on tips for embracing our unique selves and celebrating what makes us different.

Whether you’re Autistic or not, this book invites everyone to step into a world of understanding and acceptance. A must-read for anyone who believes in celebrating individuality!

Discover the book on Amazon!

Why I Think That Highly Sensitive People Are Neurodivergent

Highly sensitive people and autistic people have some things in common. During my research I found out that a lot of people categorize being a highly sensitive person as a character trait. I personally disagree with that. In my opinion both autism and high sensitivity fall under the neurodiversity term.

Neurodiversity really just means that there are differences between brains. Moreover, there are brains that process information in different ways and use different ways of thinking and learning. For example, the autistic brain is one of them, but ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia and Gilles de la Tourette also fall under the neurodiversity umbrella. Therefore, I also consider being a highly sensitive person to also fall under this term, as the brains of HSPs also process information and stimuli in a different way than the “normal” neurotypical brain would.

The Similarities Between The Highly Sensitive Person Trait And Autism

Because autism and high sensitivity both are neurodivergent, they show similarities. These are the similarities between a highly sensitive person and autism:

Extremely Sensitive To External And Internal Stimuli

Both parties know all too well what it is like to experience sensory input from their environment, like (loud) noises or a clothing label that stings in your neck. Moreover, both highly sensitive people and autistics can get overstimulated from their thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Overwhelm

Another similarity is the overwhelming feeling they both get from those stimuli. Both parties can become incredibly overwhelmed by all this input. Hence, this can result in extreme fatigue, shutdowns or panic attacks (if the person hasn’t developed coping mechanisms).

Empathy And Intuition

This is something that a lot of people don’t know because of misinformation in the media. Another trait highly sensitive people and autistic people can have in common is the extreme level of empathy. Autistic people are known for lacking empathy. However, it’s way more common for them to experience too much empathy, just like highly sensitive people do. They also can be very intuitive!

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What Are The Differences Between The Highly Sensitive Person Trait And Autism?

Now that we’ve discussed the similarities, let’s have a look at the differences. There are certain traits that people with autism do have, which highly sensitive people don’t. In order to demonstrate these traits, I applied the DSM-5. To meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD according to the DSM-5, a person must have persistent deficits in each of the criterial areas:

1. Social communication and interaction (in each of the three areas)
2. Restricted, repetitive behaviors (at least two of four types)

Social Communication And Interaction

In autism, there are deficits in social-emotional reciprocity. This might include an abnormal social approach and/or a failure or normal back-and-forth conversation. Also, there may be deficits in sharing of interests, emotions or failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Additionally, there are deficits in nonverbal communication used for social interaction. This may include poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication, abnormalities in eye contact and body language. In addition, it may involve troubles with understanding and using gestures and facial expressions.

Another issue in area of social communication and interaction is developing, maintaining and understanding relationships. This might include having difficulties in adjusting behavior in different social settings, to the absence of interest in peers.

What I have noticed is that most highly sensitive people don’t have as many issues in this field as autistic people do. A highly sensitive person may experience less trouble with connecting to people. Overall, they are social beings and do not experience these problems. In my research I have found that highly sensitive people often find social interaction very rewarding. They thrive on forming strong bonds with people, something that autistic people often find more challenging.

Restricted, Repetitive Behaviors

Another thing that characterizes autism, are the restricted and repetitive behaviors, interests or activities. These are some examples:

• There are stereotyped or repetitive motor movements (like flapping hands, spinning around), use of objects (lining up toys or flipping objects) or speech (echolalia or idiosyncratic phrases).
• Insistence of sameness. This means autistic people are inflexible in their routines, they have ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (extreme distress at small changes), trouble with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals or samefooding.
• Fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus.
• Hyper – or hyporeactivity to sensory input or an unusual interest in sensory aspect of their environment. This might look like excessive smelling or touching or things, or an occupation with lights or movement. Some autistic people might not notice pain.

As you can see, this demonstrates the differences between the highly sensitive person trait and autism. Most highly sensitive people are not as rigid as autistic people are. They are often way more flexible and are struggling less with major changes compared to people with autism. If you do recognize any of the other behaviors listed above, it might be that you are not a highly sensitive, but autistic.

Am I Autistic?

It could be the case that, after reading this blog, you recognize yourself in the autistic traits. It could be that you thought you were a highly sensitive person and that could still be the case! However, if you experience challenges in daily life with overstimulation, problems in social interactions and have troubles with communicating, you may want to look into autism. As I said earlier, a lot of people are overlooked because they don’t fit the one-sighted view of autism.

It might be the case that you are feeling scared or worried after reading this. I want to let you know that you don’t have to be scared. I know that the society we currently live in often sees autism as a negative thing. Being a highly sensitive person is also oftentimes looked at as something negative, because we live in a society that doesn’t value us sensitive people. Neurotypicals oftentimes see sensitivity as something to be ashamed of, as a weakness. But I want you to know that that’s not the truth.

If you think that you might be autistic, you might want to check out the Amazon bestselling book ‘I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults’.

And if you think that you’re a highly sensitive person, but you’re not sure, you should definitely check out the book ‘The Highly Sensitive: How to Find Inner Peace, Develop Your Gifts, and Thrive’.

We Need Sensitive Souls In This World

Please know that if you have the highly sensitive person – or autism trait, you have many strengths to bring to the table. You are probably very loyal and honest. Moreover, you are empathetic and intuitive. Also, you are creative and you are good at thinking outside the box. You view the world in such a beautiful way. Additionally, you have such specific knowledge and expertise. Finally, you’re an observer and have a good eye for detail. Embrace it. Cherish it. It makes you who you are and you’re allowed to be proud of that.

Shed the expectations of the world. The world is busy, crowded, hectic and the pressure is always on. If you’re autistic or a highly sensitive person, please know that it’s okay to follow your own pace. Your own path. It’s okay. It’s why you are here. I promise.

Additional Literature on Autism and the Highly Sensitive Person

If you’d like to discover the topic autism more, here are some books I recommend you to read:

Neuro tribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity – Steve Silberman

“NeuroTribes” by Steve Silberman is an enlightening read that delves into the complex history of autism, offering a comprehensive narrative from its earliest research to the modern understanding of neurodiversity. This groundbreaking book challenges conventional views, presenting autism not just as a disability but as a natural and valuable variation of the human genome. Silberman’s compelling exploration into the evolution of autism diagnoses and the concept of neurodiversity is a vital contribution that reshapes our understanding of cognitive differences in society.

Discover on Amazon

The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism – Naoki Higashida

“The Reason I Jump” by Naoki Higashida offers a profound, intimate glimpse into the autistic mind. Written by a thirteen-year-old boy with autism, this unique memoir reveals how he perceives and interacts with the world in ways that are both enlightening and inspiring. Through his honest and heartfelt narrative, constructed using an alphabet grid, Naoki answers questions about autism with deep insight, changing the way readers view not just autism, but life itself. This book is a transformative read, providing a rare and valuable perspective on the experiences of those with autism.

Discover on Amazon

Loud hands: Autistic People, Speaking – Julia Bascom

“Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking” is a compelling anthology of essays by Autistic individuals, offering a rich tapestry of the lived experiences and perspectives within the Autistic community. This collection, ranging from the early days of the Neurodiversity movement to contemporary blog posts, serves as both a historical document and a deeply personal account of Autism. It provides invaluable insights, preserving and showcasing the diversity and core principles of the Autistic community in their own words.

Discover on Amazon

But you don’t look autistic at all – Bianca Toeps

In her insightful book, Bianca Toeps offers a candid and often humorous exploration of life with autism, moving beyond stereotypes to the reality of daily experiences. She combines scientific perspectives with personal narratives and interviews, providing a well-rounded view of autism. Toeps’ engaging style addresses common misconceptions and offers practical advice, particularly for non-autistic people, on how to interact respectfully and effectively with autistic individuals. This book is an eye-opening read, challenging preconceived notions and deepening the understanding of autism.

Discover on Amazon

Divergent mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You – Jenara Nerenberg 

“Divergent Mind” by Jenara Nerenberg is a groundbreaking exploration of neurodivergent women, delving into why traits like ADHD, autism, and high sensitivity are often overlooked in women. Nerenberg, a journalist with personal experience, uncovers the rich diversity of mental makeups, highlighting the systemic flaws in diagnosis and societal attitudes. This insightful book offers a new perspective on neurodiversity, celebrates the unique strengths of neurodivergent minds, and provides practical guidance for a more inclusive society that values and supports these differences.

Discover on Amazon

The Highly Sensitive: How to Find Inner Peace, Develop Your Gifts, and Thrive – Judy Dyer

This insightful guide for Highly Sensitive People (HSP) offers practical strategies to navigate a world that often feels overwhelming. It delves into understanding the nuances of being an HSP, managing emotional overload, and turning high sensitivity into a strength rather than a setback. The book is a valuable resource for HSPs seeking to establish healthy boundaries, protect themselves from negative energy, and embrace their unique qualities to lead a fulfilling life. It empowers HSPs to recognize their potential and harness their sensitivity as a gift.

Discover on Amazon

• Empathy And Autism: Can They Really Coexist?
• How To Create A Sensory Garden To Indulge Your Senses
• How To Spend Less Time On Your Phone In 5 Steps

The post Highly Sensitive Person and Autism: What is the Difference? appeared first on HiSensitives.

In this article, guest writer Nikki deep dives into the topic stress and how to deal with psychosomatic symptoms.

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes

Next to being an autism coach, I’ve studied to become an all-round counselor. One of the subjects I learned more about during my education, was stress.

Here, I discovered that stress is actually quite common in highly sensitive people. Consequently, they burnout a lot quicker than the regular Joe. There are a couple of reasons for that, which I would like to explain in this article.

There are tips and tricks to deal with chronic stress, which I will share with you. Next to that, you will learn how to lower the levels of cortisol in your body, which are a product of feeling chronically stressed-out.

What Is Stress?

Today, the term stress is actually an umbrella term. Stress is an English word and literally means ‘tension’ or ‘pressure’.

Stress is not necessarily negative, although the word is often used that way these days. It is usually automatically associated with work situations. But actually, stress is also possible in other situations, so also with fun things.

The following types of stress are most common:

• Work stress;
• Relationship stress;
• Holiday stress;
• Exam stress;
• Money stress;
• Anticipation stress; 
• Memory stress;
• Post-traumatic stress.

Stress permeates all levels of existence. When someone feels stressed, it affects the body, thoughts and behavior. For this reason, the symptoms of stress are classified into three levels: physical, psychological and behavioral.

Factors For Experiencing Stress

Not everyone is equally sensitive to stress. This has to do with several factors:

External Factors Of Stress

People experience stress when they perceive something as threatening. This experience then feels threatening to their mental or physical well-being.

However, not everyone experiences the same stressful situation in the same way. This is because of the way they give meaning to a situation. This concerns the following characteristics:

• Extremity: Some events are more drastic than others. Some are so drastic that everyone experiences them as stressful. Think of wars, (nature)disasters or pandemics.
• Predictability: An event is more likely perceived as stressful if someone didn’t see it coming. You can prepare yourself for stressful events that show a certain regularity or that have been announced. This helps with the perceived stress level.
• Controllability: The stronger we feel that we have control over a situation, the less stressful we experience the event. Situations such as someone’s death, serious illness or dismissal cannot be controlled and are therefore experienced as very stressful.
• The extent to which self-image is tested: Events that require a great deal of adaptability can be extremely stressful. Examples include emigration, physical violence or (medical) gaslighting. People often start to doubt themselves because of such situations, which can cause serious stress.

Next to these external factors, there are also some personal traits that can make a person more susceptible to stress. 

Type A Versus Type B Characteristics:

Psychologists Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman have described two different behavioral styles in the past: type A and type B.

People of type A often have the same characteristics. They are:

• Ambitious.
• Goal oriented.
• Dominant.
• Aggressive.
• Rushed.
• Multi-taskers.
• Impatient.
• Talkers.
• Difficult relaxers.
• Doers.

Type B people also have similarities. They are often:

• Quiet.
• Thoughtful.
• Flexible.
• Attentive.
• Easy relaxers.
• More accepting with adversity.
• Dreamers.

You will probably notice the difference between the two types.

It is not strange to assume that type A will experience much more stress than type B. And it is.

However, it occurs rarely that someone is completely type A or type B. That is why people nowadays also talk about type C. People with type C combine characteristics of both.

For example, they are just as calm as type B, but they are also at risk of developing disorders like type A, because they sacrifice themselves too much and let everything happen too passively, for example.

Personality Traits

One way to look at somebody’s personality, is using the Big Five. This model consists of the five most important personality traits, why someone can score high or low. The Big Five looks at:

• Neuroticism vs Stability: How emotionally stable and adjusted someone is.
• Extraversion vs Introversion: How one is in relation to others.
• Openness to experience vs closeness: How someone experiences the world and whether someone uses their intelligence/creativity.
• Care vs carelessness: How one handles material and personal matters.
• Kindness vs hostility: How one is directed toward others.

These five factors are the most fundamental personality traits. Everyone can be characterized on each of these five dimensions in order to get a good picture of their personality. There also appears to be a logical relationship between these personality traits and stress:

• Neuroticism: Neurotic people are more sensitive to stress and vulnerable than emotionally stable people because they are more anxious in life. In addition to anxiety symptoms, they are also more likely to suffer from insomnia and physical ailments, for example. They also experience less satisfaction in life.
• Introversion: Introverts generally experience more stress than extroverts because they express themselves differently. Extroverted people certainly experience stress, but then it is often about a more positive form of stress, also called eustress.
• Openness: People who are more open to experience and have progressive ideas can be more stressed than people who are more conservative and always think in the same patterns. However, open people probably experience more satisfaction in their lives. They have a broader outlook on life and perceive stressful situations as challenges to grow rather than problems.
• Hostility: People who are positively oriented towards others can count on more support and less hostility, and therefore experience less stress.

Stressful Behavioral Patterns

Next to external factors and being a certain type and having particular personality traits, stressful behavioral patterns can also cause somebody to experience more stress.

These don’t have anything to do with what kind of personality you have, but are more like typical behavioral patterns that can cause stress. This concerns behavior that is not realistic and that has a certain thought pattern behind it.

These are often unconscious and therefore work against someone. The following behavioral patterns are common, to a greater or lesser extent:

• Fanatic perfectionism: Everything has to be perfect and mistakes are a sign of weakness. With this thought, a person can put a lot of pressure on themselves and also increase it regularly. For example, many workaholics suffer from this thought pattern.
• Disaster thinking: Constantly thinking about all the possible disasters that could occur. This overthinking causes stress. As soon as even the smallest thing goes wrong, everything goes wrong in the fantasy.
• Low frustration threshold: Can tolerate little or nothing. As soon as there is criticism or setback, people often complain and/or stop.
• Wanting to be everyone’s friend: Wanting to be friends with everyone and everything and always wanting to be liked. It is clear that this will never work. But it is the fear of not being accepted that is behind this.
• Making demands on others and the world: The world and other people must adhere to certain, often self-invented, rules. This usually does not work, which (unconsciously) can cause a lot of stress.

What Happens In The Body When You Experience Stress?

When you experience stress as a highly sensitive person, there are multiple things that happen in your body. Below, I summarized the most important changes:

The Nervous System:

The nervous system in particular plays an important role in experiencing stress. The human nervous system divides into two major parts: an autonomous and an animate nervous system. The animal nervous system is about conscious processes and the autonomic nervous system is about important, unconscious processes.

The autonomic nervous system divides into two systems, which are alternately more and less active: the sympathetic system and the parasympathetic system.

The sympathetic system brings the body into an active state. During the day, most people are largely in this condition. The parasympathetic system brings the body into a state of rest, in which it can recover and rebuild. This is the case during eating (when digestion is active) and sleeping.

When someone is in a state of increased stress, the sympathetic system prevails. You are alert and ready to take action. This in turn affects, for example, your digestive system.

The Hormonal System

Another system that plays its influence on stress, is the hormone system. Hormones are chemicals that play an important messenger role in the body. For example, they are involved in all growth processes, metabolism and reproduction. But they also play their part in stress.

The hormone system and the sympathetic system play an important role in the process of a stress response. As soon as someone experiences a stressful event, two processes take place:

• The production of the hormone cortisol increases.
• The production of the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline.

Cortisol causes an increase in blood sugar, so that the body has a lot of energy immediately available. It is also referred to as the stress hormone. Adrenaline and noradrenaline enable the body to make extra effort quickly. Noradrenaline only has a blood pressure increasing effect, while adrenaline has a broader effect. Both hormones provide the ‘fight or flight’ response that I will talk about in a moment.

Fight-or-Flight Reactions

In the past, when people were in a dangerous, stressful situation, they had to react quickly to stay alive. The stress response was therefore a useful phenomenon.

In such a moment you decide (often unconsciously) how you react to the stress: do you run away or do you fight?

The psychologist Walter Cannon has examined this stress response and called it the “fight-or-flight response.” Several bodily changes take place during this reaction, such as increasing heart rate, increasing blood pressure, slowing digestion, dilating pupils and increasing blood clotting, in case of damage.

After this acute stress reaction, a lot of energy is available. Something has to be done about that.

However, nowadays we experience few life-threatening situations, that was different with prehistoric humans. However, this reaction is still activated, but there are different situations in which this occurs. The physical dangers have given way to social and/or psychological stress.

Psychosomatic Complaints

When you experience long-term stress, you can develop psychosomatic complaints. “Psycho” stands for mind, where thoughts, behavior, emotions and social influences are stored. And “soma” stands for body. Psychosomatic complaints therefore consist of a combination of mental and physical complaints.

A complaint is called psychosomatic if your mind makes your body sick. Your physical complaints are basically triggered by psychological factors, such as chronic stress. Psychosomatic complaints actually do entail real physical complaints. However, often nothing is found on medical examination. 

Sometimes, it’s the other way around. You get physically sick, which makes you experience a lot of stress. As is known, there is a close relationship between body and mind. Both are connected and influence each other continuously.

For example, because of physical pain, you can feel mentally uneasy and develop psychological problems, such as a burn-out. Therefore it’s very important to take care of your body as well as your mind.

Psychosomatic complaints can vary greatly. And not everybody experiences the same complaints when chronically stressed. For reference, I have compiled a list with both physical complaints and psychological complaints.

Physical Complaints

• Fatigue;
• Tension in the muscles;
• Headaches;
• Changes in digestion and stomach aches;
• Trembling and twitches;
• Ringing in the ears;
• High blood pressure;
• Dizziness and light headedness;
• Shallow breathing;
• Apathy;
• Dry mouth and throat;
• Excessive sweating;
• Skin rashes or worsening of eczema or psoriasis;
• Excessive hair loss;
• Canker sores in the mouth;
• A feeling of tightness in the chest;
• Sleeping issues.

Psychological Complaints

• Confusion;
• Forgetfulness;
• Lack of focus and concentration;
• Intolerance of sensory and/or social input;
• Agitation;
• Depressive feelings;
• Dissatisfaction;
• Intolerance to frustration;
• Feeling extra vulnerable;
• Anxiety;
• Mood swings;
• Extreme worrying;
• Quick overwhelm by emotions.

This is a short list of psychosomatic complaints you can experience when being overly stressed. When not looked after, these complaints can turn into ailments, such as migraines, heart conditions, stomach ulcers, neurasthenia or autoimmune diseases.

Psychological complaints can turn into depression, an anxiety disorder, burnouts or PTSD. So, if you experience a large amount of stress and feel any of the psychosomatic complaints listed above, please contact your doctor or therapist. They can help you and prevent things from getting worse.

How To Relieve Stress

Luckily, there a multiple ways to relieve stress. And most of them are easily accessible and doable from home, which hopefully will make it more convenient to do something about your stress.

In this article, I’ve listed a few of them, but please know that there are many ways to do it. So if these don’t float your boat, I’d suggest searching this website for other options.

Recovery of Energy and Physical Stamina

It may sound crazy, but for most people who experience chronic stress, just taking rest often doesn’t work well enough. Psychosomatic complaints can reinforce each other.

For example, stress can make it difficult to fall asleep and because of a lack of sleep you handle a lot less during the day, which in turn causes more stress.

Once those patterns are there, they often perpetuate themselves. By restoring the energy balance and physical stamina, you can often break these kinds of patterns. Therefore, recovery is often accompanied by active activities. 

An energizing balance between sport, activity and rest helps to recover faster from chronic stress or burnout. And the word balance is really important here.

In addition, the intensity of movement also has an influence. Relaxation exercises and activities can also help. Look for a nice breathing exercise that fits your needs, make meditation part of your day or go to the wellness center to pamper yourself.

Some Tips To Keep In Mind

• Take plenty of breaks throughout the day. Especially if you feel that you are working too slowly because of your exhaustion. Do not try to compensate for this by continuing to work!
  
• Do not exercise too intensively. Certainly not when the sport is also accompanied by haste. Competitive sports can also increase stress. It is a better idea to go for a walk, cycle or garden, for example. Sports such as yoga or tai chi are also a better idea than, for example, a game of football.
  
• When you’re stressed, you probably need extra sleep and want to take a nap more often. This is of course okay, but do this as much as possible before 3 p.m. so as not to disturb your sleep-wake rhythm. Try to reduce it after a week or three, so that you can build up a normal pattern again.
  
• Try to follow a good daily structure as much as possible. It may help to get up and go to bed around the same time every day, eating, shopping, and resting. This way you can give your busy head some rest. Set an alarm on your phone to get used to a structure, if you’re comfortable doing so.
  
• Gather some support around you. Support from friends and family is still often underestimated. Many people find it annoying to be a burden to others, but it has really shown that this can help you regain your energy. For example, delegate some tasks to your husband, give your children more chores in and around the house or ask that friend to run that errand for you. Many people like to do something for someone else. But you probably recognize that, which is why you probably feel so much stress at the moment.

Good Luck!

Hopefully, these tips help you to relieve stress as a highly sensitive person. Remember to be easy on yourself and allow yourself to rest. And if nothing helps, don’t be afraid to consult a professional to help you in your recovery.

Good luck with reducing stress! If you’d like to revisit this article at a later moment, make sure to pin this article to your Pinterest-board or to share it on other social media channels through the buttons below.

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The post What Is Stress And How To Deal With Psychosomatic Complaints? appeared first on HiSensitives.

Do you want to create a sensory garden that triggers your senses in all imaginable positive ways? Try these practical & easy applicable tips!

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

As a highly sensitive person you naturally feel drawn to the outdoors. Getting into nature has scientifically proven to benefit sensitive people.

A lot of people think they have to get out of their own environment to do so: they might go to a nearby forest of take a trip to the seaside, but I want to tell you that that isn’t particularly necessary.

You could use your own backyard just fine! But there are ways to get the most out of that garden, so you can really stimulate your senses and create a sensory garden. Or you could use the space to really calm down and relax yourself.

In this blog I want to show you how to create that little piece of sensory heaven, right at your doorstep.

The Eight Senses Relevant To Create A Sensory Garden

Information from the outside world (stimuli) enter through our senses. The senses are organs that pick up these stimuli and convert them into electrical energy signals that are sent to the brain through our nerves.

A couple of examples of stimuli are the awful smell of your husband’s aftershave, the red chili peppers in the curry you are eating or sunrays that shine through your window right onto your computer screen. When these signals enter our consciousness, a perception arises. 

The “classic” senses, as once described by Aristotle, are the five senses with which we can make conscious perceptions. These senses are seeing (visual), hearing (auditory), smelling (olfactory), tasting (gustatory) and touching (tactile).

But there are also important senses that people are often less aware of. That is why many scientists now prefer to use a different, somewhat broader classification. They distinguish between eight senses, which also are relevant when it comes to creating your sensory garden:

• Visual: The ability to perceive and interpret light and color stimuli.
• Auditory: The ability to perceive and interpret sound.
• Olfactory: The ability to smell and interpret odors.
• Gustatory: The feeling that perceives and interprets the properties of food and other substances in the mouth.
• Tactile: The tactile system through which touch, pressure, pain and temperature are perceived and interpreted.
• Vestibular: The vestibular system in the inner ear that senses and interprets the position and movements of the head and allows one to orientate oneself in space and time.
• Proprioception: The system that perceives and interprets the state of the muscles in the body.
• Interoception: Feeling what is happening inside your body.

What Happens In The Brain When You Spend Time In Your Sensory Garden?

Every sense is unique. Yet they share basic features and similarities in structure and function. They all use the same neural plan where the sense organs receive stimuli (such as light, sound or pressure) into electrical impulses that are carried to the brain via bundles of nerve fibers.

The Thamalus

Sensory data from spending time in your sensory garden generally goes to the thalamus. The thalamus is a switching station that sits on top of the brainstem, and from there they are directed to their own special area in the cortex.

From this primary cortex, the stimuli can reach large and diverse areas of the brain. For example, a scent can be intense evoke emotions because there are direct connections with the limbic system.

In order for people to survive in their environment, the senses must be highly responsive – to signals as weak as a single photon of light or a molecule of a dust flake in the air – and at the same time selective enough to filter information so that not everything gets immediate attention.

Stimulating A Receptor Cell

Stimulation of a receptor cell (e.g. light on the retina or sound on the eardrum) usually releases a protein that starts a biochemical reaction of messenger and energy-carrying molecules that generate electrical charges in a neuron, causing it to fire.

Sensations themselves are very fleeting: they sometimes remain in the memory for a few seconds, sometimes even shorter. The process by which our brains process and understand this incoming data is called perception. Memory, emotion and cognition are mixed to create an experience.

Perception works in a special way. Certain areas of the brain do not only respond to sensory information, but they also actively condition it. For example, they inhibit irrelevant input and supplement other input. This ensures that you can still follow a conversation at a noisy party, for instance. This is because these brain regions replenish fragments. In this case, words are made from partial sounds.

The Senses And Highly Sensitive People

When you are a highly sensitive person, your brain works differently. Highly sensitive people lack some sort of filter in their brain, which causes them to have to deal with a lot of stimuli.

That’s because that filter inhibits irrelevant input. For example, when you are in a meeting and several people are speaking at the same time, it becomes difficult to focus on the conversation you are having yourself.

It gets almost impossible to focus and you might feel really overwhelmed because of it. Because not only is the input from your conversation partner coming in, the input from the other people as well.

And it’s not only the speaking too. You also might notice the different kinds of perfume people are wearing, you might hear the traffic outside and maybe the fluorescent lighting is making a buzzing sound as well. 

Deep Processing

In addition, these stimuli are also processed more deeply than in people who are not highly sensitive. This deep stimulus processing means that highly sensitive people can quickly become overstimulated.

You can recognize an overstimulation in yourself when you notice that you start to feel a need to withdraw yourself. Perhaps, you might feel yourself getting anxious, frustrated or even angry. Also, you feel exhausted.

Moreover, you might feel your muscles cramping up. It is key to listen to your body in situations like this. If you don’t listen, you could experience extreme fatigue or become burned out.

Need For Sensory Pleasure

But not only do stimuli cause negative symptoms. Sometimes highly sensitive people might actually feel a need for certain stimuli.

Highly sensitive people can have a really intense reaction to negative stimuli, but on the other hand they could really love other perceptions.

For instance, they might want to leave a restaurant because it reeks of fish, but absolutely love a flower shop. Certain movements could help you calm down, like sitting in a rocking chair, or you sleep very well with the scent of lavender on your pillow.

If this is the case, it’s key to embrace that. Because in this busy world, you need every help to unwind that you can get.

Incorporating The Senses Into Your Sensory Garden

Enough theory for now. It’s time to talk about creating the sensory garden and how to optimize it in such a way that it helps you unwind and chill out. Or – if you are sensory seeking – how to give you optimal sensory input. They can even go hand-in-hand: sometimes adding extra sensory input gives you joy, which can feel really relaxing!

Visual

There are multiple ways to incorporate sight in your garden. Pick some colorful plants, for instance. Plants also come in a vast array of shapes and sizes and you could also consider plants with a bold leaf color.

Next to that, you could play with water pieces, like fountains, bird baths or a pond. If the sun shines on it, the (moving) water will sparkle, which can be pleasing on the eyes. If you are sensitive to that, you could choose to put it in a more shadowy side of the garden. 

Auditory

You could tickle your auditory system in different ways as well. I already mentioned water – fountains or a small waterfall – and these could also give you great auditory pleasure. You can lay in your yard and hear the water splashing and rippling.

I’m sure it will calm you down. Or it might just make you have to pee. If you are sensitive to that, ignore this paragraph. Some people might also like the sound of wind chimes. I myself prefer the bamboo ones, since they aren’t as high pitched as some others are.

Olfactory

A sensory garden is the perfect place to indulge yourself with scents. Especially in summertime! Pick some scented, blooming plants for your garden like jasmine, roses, wisteria, lilies or buddleja. And not only do they smell amazing, they will also attract butterflies and honeybees, which is great for the planet.

And planting herbs will also do a lot for your olfactory system. Lavender is a popular one, but herbs like rosemary, thyme and lemon balm will give your nose a treat. And if you’re sitting outside in the evening, a nice scented candle could really accompany the different fragrances. If you burn a lemon scented candle, it will keep mosquitos away from you too!

Gustatory

It’s also not that difficult to add something for you to taste! I mentioned herbs in the previous paragraph. These are also great for the gustatory system. But not only herbs could be added to give you some tasty stimuli, you could also go for a kitchen garden. Pick a spot to plant some vegetables and grow fruit! It could be very pleasing to walk into your sensory garden and eat some fresh strawberries or tomatoes.

If this isn’t really your thing (because it does mean you have to maintain it), edible flowers might be more your cup of tea. Citrus blossom, clover, daisies, dandelions, honeysuckle, lavender, pansies and violets are a couple of them. Pick them and eat them, or add them in your salad!

Tactile

One of my favorite senses is touch. I’m very sensitive to it, but absolutely love certain feels. My feet are delicate, but I love to walk on grass bare feet. If you are like me, you could add some grass to your garden.

Moreover, if you are more sensory seeking in this department, you might want to opt for some pavement which has some textured patterns in it (like cobblestone, for instance). If you walk on it with your shoes of, it serves as a great reflexology exercise.

However, if this is too big of a step for you, you could go for textured plants which feel great to your fingertips. And again, adding water to your garden is also a great way to pleasure your tactile system. 

Vestibular, Proprioceptive And Interoceptive

To please these senses, you can add movement into your sensory garden. Adding a rocking chair or a swing to your garden furniture is a good idea if you love relaxing with the feeling of being swayed. A trampoline could also give a nice feeling if you are sensory seeking.

Another way of incorporating these senses into your garden is to add a place to lay down your yoga mat. If you have space for it, it might be a really nice feeling to do your exercises in your sensory garden.

When You Don’t Have A Garden

This article is written for highly sensitive people who have a garden. But I can imagine that you don’t have access to one, but still want to make the most of, for example, your balcony.

Most of the items I mentioned are also available for balconies. Deliciously tasting herbs and aromatic plants can be planted in pots, a bird bath doesn’t have to be big and maybe you even have space for a rocking chair on your balcony.

If you don’t have a balcony either, you could incorporate some of these tips inside your home. If that’s not an option, you can try to find if outside of your home.

Maybe there is a park nearby, or maybe you can dip your feet into the soil of a forest that’s close to your home. Another way is to visit a “barefoot path”. These paths or trails are specifically made for sensory means.

If you go to such path, be ready to throw those shoes off and walk across a trail which has all kinds of different textures. These often include pebbles, bark, soil and even mud. Don’t worry about dirty feet, you can wash them at the end of the path.

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• 100 Ways To Have Fun While Being Stuck At Home
• How To Deal With Sensory Overload When You Are Highly Sensitive
• Discovering Your Sense Of Identity and Belonging In This World

The post How To Create A Sensory Garden To Indulge Your Senses appeared first on HiSensitives.

In desperate need of a deep home cleaning session? In this article, guest writer and professional organizer Nikki shares practical tips on how to cleanse your home physically and energetically.

Estimated reading time: 20 minutes

I know that the season for spring cleaning is practically gone by the time I’m writing this. It’s getting hotter outside, and not everybody has the gift of air-conditioning, so it might be a little bit too uncomfortable to do a big cleaning in this time of year. But I still would like to address this topic, so you might be able to use it later.

Most people think about the actual cleaning when they hear the term spring cleaning. And even though that’s a big part of it, it could also be beneficial to do an energetic cleanse. You can even combine the two together for an ultimate, yearly cleanse!

Why You Need An Ultimate Home Cleanse

We all need to clean our homes. It’s a daily duty that (unfortunately) has a big part in our lives. But there are good reasons for that. A clean home has multiple benefits for us as highly sensitive people. Here are some of them:

Physical Health

One of those reasons is that it’s good for our health. Good hygiene definitely has its impact on our wellbeing. In a clean house, the air is cleaner and fresher.

Because of that, you suffer less from respiratory problems and allergies. Highly sensitive people can be extra sensitive to things like pollen or dust mites, so it’s important to keep those at bay.

Next to that, fungi and bacteria have a lot less chance to settle down when you keep your home clean. Even just the idea of that makes me want to give my home a deep clean.

Mental Health

But not only is a clean home beneficial for your physical health, your mental health will thrive as well.

To me, nothing feels better than coming home to a clean house after a busy day. A clean, tidy home is easier to wind down in. Clutter and dirt are both big distractors and the saying “tidy home, tidy mind” is a well-known saying for a reason.

If you are highly sensitive, you might notice yourself getting overstimulated a lot quicker when all that clutter is staring at you. Because clutter is visual, so your eyes will see it and make your brain process it. And that can cost a lot of energy. Another reason to clean and tidy: less embarrassment if you get unannounced visitors!

So, these are the reasons to keep your house clean and fresh. But as I said, you can also do an energetic cleanse. There are some benefits to that too, and it will really complement your hard efforts to keep your home sparkly and neat.

Everything has energy. And energy can linger in spaces for many different reasons. This can be positive energy, but it can also be the case that it’s not all positive. Here are some reasons to consider an energetic cleanse of your home:

Moving

I myself moved into my new home almost five years ago. It’s a home that’s almost 100 years old and a lot happened there. For instance, it got bombed during World War II. There was a lot of negative energy stuck in our house. I felt like it was very crowded.

Oftentimes, I woke up during the night and had the urge to move to the side of the bed, to make room for others. I felt a pressure whenever I was in the living room and my husband heard footsteps in our hallway. I know not everybody will relate to this story, but just because you can’t sense something, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Stressful Times

If you just had a stressful time, or have been ill (in any form) it can be nice to give your house an energetic cleanse. Especially if the situation mainly took place there. This can also give you an immediate mental boost, because this can bring about a new period, where positivity predominates.

Restlessness and/or Tension

Even if you are not feeling well for a long time due to tension, if you sleep poorly and/or restlessly for a while, it is useful to give your home an energetic cleanse.

Negative energies that keep hanging around can throw you off balance and it’s so important to sleep well when you’re not feeling well. So an energetic cleanse can also really benefit your health.

Usher In A New Period

As a highly sensitive person, it can do you some good to consciously close an old period and enter a new one; this can have all kinds of reasons and you never have to justify why.

But an energetic cleanse can certainly help with this! It can help you to enter the new period full of positive energy, it can give you insights that you need at that moment and performing a cleansing ritual is also very meditative.

If you’d like to learn more about the benefits of a home cleanse, have a look at this video:

Tips For A Physical Home Cleanse

There are multiple ways to clean your home. I bet you already may have some routines set up, but if you really want to get the most out of this cleaning ritual, a deep clean can really do the trick for that “brand-new, fresh feeling”.

I have some tips for you to implement whenever you decide to go for that deep clean:

Cleaning Products

Keep in mind that everything has energy and that everything contributes to the life energy you can feel in your home. Cleaning products are no different.

Try to steer clear from products that are very chemical. Try to work with green products which are free of chemicals as much as you can. This is also a lot more durable and the earth will thank you as well!

Decluttering

We fill our homes with objects. Some we buy ourselves, some we receive from others. And as I said before: everything has energy. Therefore, we need to be thoughtful about what to keep in our home.

It’s important as a highly sensitive person to be aware what our stuff does to us. Therefore, while decluttering, ask yourself if that particular object contributes to your joy. If it does, keep it. If not, you might want to ask yourself if you need it to live your life well.

Some things don’t bring us joy, but are very convenient to keep around. Either way, both of those things send out positivity. Also, please don’t feel bad for getting rid of things. They just don’t serve you anymore. Donate them, so they get a new home instead.

Alongside a thorough physical and energetic cleanse, it’s essential to keep your home pest-safe to maintain a tranquil atmosphere. Regular checking for pests and reaching out for professional help can help avoid infestations and safeguard your well-being. After all, a home free from pests is just as crucial as one cleansed of negative energy.

If you’d like to read more about decluttering, have a look at the book ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing’.

Plan

What I always suggest, is to make a plan beforehand. This enlarges the mindfulness and it helps you stay on track so you don’t forget anything. I always split my chores up in three sections: upstairs, downstairs and outside.

This helps me with preparing: I collect everything I need for those spaces and it also gives me room to breathe, because I know I don’t have to do a whole house at once. I can easily keep track where I left off and what I will be doing next.

Put on some nice tunes:What always helps me to get the positive vibes going, is to put on my favorite music when I’m going to physically clean my home. It boosts my mood which is really helpful to the energy that roams around in my home. And when you bust a little move too, it really makes the energy vibrate, in a good way!

Tips For An Energetic Cleanse

There are also multiple ways to do an energetic cleanse. I will share a couple of them with you today.

Cleansing With Salt

Salt is known for its ability to absorb negative energies. An easy way to use salt as a cleaner is to place bowls of sea salt in the corners of the room to be cleaned. You can also buy a salt candlestick, which you light a candle in and put it in the room.

Cleanse With White Sage

Another way is to cleanse your home by burning a dried, white sage bundle. Place it in a fireproof dish, possibly with a layer of sand. Light the bundle and blow it out. It’ll smolder and smoke will be coming off of it.

Walk from corner to corner along the walls, visualizing how you remove the negative energy. Always work towards an open window or door. Do know that the smell is very typical and will linger for a while.

Cleansing Through Visualization

Another good way to energetically cleanse your home is by using visualization. Use the power of thought and intention. Imagine all the energy released over time being sucked into a whirlwind which is being blown out of the home.

It helps to open a window before you do this visualization, so it can really help you visualize how it ‘flies’ out of your home.

Cleansing With Rock Crystal

If you have done any of the previous cleansing rituals, place a rock crystal in your home. Rock crystal is a neutral and pure gemstone that regulates, absorbs and returns pure energy in your home.

Because rock crystal works well to remove negative energy from the air, it is important that you clean it regularly. You can do this, for example, by placing the stone outside in the moonlight with a full moon.

Combining Physical And Energetic Home Cleansing

Now, to make the most of the physical cleaning and the energetic home cleanse, it’s important to combine the two together. The both of them will really enforce each other, giving you the best feeling there is to get! I found a few ways to do this, and they can be done when you start, during or after the cleaning and cleansing.

Activate New Energy

Also activate new and positive energy with your cleaning, by being grateful for the “closing” of the cold, cozy winter, if you choose to deep clean in the spring.

Receive the scent of spring with open arms, greet the warmth of the sun and exhale while feeling grateful for all that this new period will give you. You can of course also do this at another time in the year, but gratitude really goes a long way when you want to activate that positive energy in your home.

Set Intentions

What also can help with this cleansing, is to set an intention when you start your physical cleaning and energetic cleansing. A few examples of such an intention are:

• Today I let pure energy flow again.
• I scrub away energetic blockages.
• I’m clearing the paths for new moments of happiness in this house.

Be free to come up with an intention that suits you, including wishes and dreams for the house and the people that live there.

Shower Afterwards

After you are done with the physical cleaning and the energetic cleansing you take a shower. Visualize how all negative thoughts, feelings and impressions that you carry with you, are removed by the water. Visualize them going down the drain and step out of the shower squeaky clean, fresh and with good vibrations.

After The Home Cleanse

If all went well, you’ll feel a positive change! Not only will you experience less stress because the dirt and clutter has been taken care off, the home itself will feel remarkably more spacious, clearer, airier, more pleasant and radiant.

Next to that, you’ll probably feel it in your body as well. Your energy level will probably be increased, you feel more cheerful, you’ll sleep better and overall things will run more smoothly. This will all provide so much for you as a highly sensitive person, I promise!

It’s important to live in a healthy environment, that feels safe and provides harmony amongst the people that live there. It’s important to be aware of the impact this negative energy can have on you.

A happy home that vibrates positive energy will benefit you and your loved ones and it will definitely allow more space for personal development and creativity.

Happy cleansing!

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• How To Master Your Emotions When You Are Highly Sensitive
• 13 Things Highly Sensitive People Need In Their Lives
• How To De-Stress With Relaxing Baths As A Highly Sensitive Person

The post How To Cleanse Your Home Physically And Energetically appeared first on HiSensitives.

In this article, autism coach Nikki talks about the similarities and differences between being highly sensitive and being highly gifted.

Estimated reading time: 12 minutes

Earlier I wrote a guest blog about the differences between high sensitivity and autism, because these two neurodivergencies are often mixed up. Today you will learn more about high sensitivity and being highly gifted, as these traits often are confused with each other as well.

However, that’s not completely strange, as high sensitivity can also be a trait of being gifted. Therefore, in this article, I provide some more information about what being highly gifted entails. You will discover what the differences and the similarities are, so you can distinguish between the two traits.

The Basics Of Being Highly Gifted

There are different definitions of giftedness, but in general professionals use the multi-factor model of Franz Josef Mönks’s. This professor of developmental psychology has added a number of factors to the existing model of the American psychologist Renzulli.

Renzulli stated that giftedness is not so much a trait, but a certain ability that leads to gifted behavior. According to this theory, a person is highly gifted if he has a great amount of creativity, high intelligence (IQ> 130) and a certain motivation.

• High creativity: By creativity people do not only mean “creative” creativity, such as painting, knitting, clay or baking cakes. For many gifted individuals, creativity (also) expresses itself in language and word jokes and in coming up with original solutions to problems. Gifted people can get into discussions with surprising questions and arguments. Their strength is to think outside the box.

• High intelligence: One of the hallmarks of giftedness is high intelligence. An IQ (Intelligence Quotient) of 130 is generally used as a lower limit. Intelligence tests determine the IQ. The average IQ is 100. If you have an IQ of 140, then that score deviates 40 points from the average. In percentage terms, there are as many people with an IQ of 140 as with an IQ of 60.

• High motivation: By this they mean having a great passion, task orientation and the urge to achieve set goals. Gifted people often have an intrinsic motivation to achieve their goals.

Influence Of The Environment

Mönks added the influence of the environment. The environment partly determines whether the qualities that the person has (highly intelligent, high creativity and high motivation) are also visible in striking performances. He mentions the influence of the family, the school and the circle of friends of the gifted person in its childhood. This influence can be both positive and negative.

Heller expands the story even further in his multi-factor model. He sees “giftedness” as something that is not only about intellectual capacities, but can also be, for example, musical, social or physical gifts. He also says that factors in the person have an influence as well. For example, someone may have great musical talent, but suffer from fear of failure to such an extent that it is not possible to perform in front of an audience.

Being highly gifted appears to be basically innate. There are indications that the nervous system of a gifted person can make new connections more easily and more quickly. Whether the person can also translate these innate qualities into exceptional achievements and whether the person is happy depends on many factors, both in his environment and in himself. A gifted person is “different” from most people in several ways. It is not better or worse, but it is different. That is why the gifted person needs other things to be able to develop optimally.

The Traits Of Highly Gifted People

But how do you know if you are gifted, maybe? Well, you do an IQ test! The result of an IQ test gives many gifted individuals a sense of security or reassurance when it turns out positive. But there are many situations where someone does not perform optimally while taking the IQ test. Somebody might perform worse because they have a fear of failure which makes them do the test less successfully. Therefore, the “negative” result does not necessarily mean that you are not gifted.

Another way is to read into the many traits that gifted people have. You can find many lists of traits online. Gifted people often identify with these lists, but the logic does not necessarily work the other way: recognizing yourself in these lists does not mean that you are gifted.

The traits mentioned are not all actually traits of highly gifted people. A large number of these “traits” are experiences, pitfalls or behaviors that we encounter in the gifted. Many of these are based on the fact that gifted individuals belong to a minority. This list therefore serves as a recognition, not as a “diagnostic” instrument.

I did however, make a list for you. Because I do want you to know what a lot of gifted people have in common, so you can get a broader vision of what it entails to be a gifted individual. I put these traits in different categories (I am a sucker for categorizing things, I am autistic after all). I have three categories listed: sensitivity traits, consciousness traits and traits in relation to intelligence, creativity and perseverance.

#1: Sensitivity Traits

You…

• have always felt different from others.
• have low self-esteem and often low self-confidence.
• are sensitive to (loud) noise, light, crowds, smells and other external stimuli.
• feel easily influenced by the moods of others.
• have perfectionistic traits.
• are intuitive.
• can pick up subtle signals from your environment.
• are easily annoyed or impatient.
• are sensitive to pain.
• need to rest after a day at work to reconnect with yourself.
• are more sensitive than average to the effects of nicotine, alcohol and caffeine.
• feel the emotions of others in your own body.
• usually hate violence.
• can be very moved by the beauty of things, like music.

#2: Consciousness Traits

You…

• often quickly find different solutions to problems.
• are or were an outsider at school.
• participated fairly inconspicuously at school. You got along with everyone, but you didn’t really belong to anything.
• are very loyal.
• can take on the whole world one moment and then lose that feeling the next time.
• are a worrier because you are able to see what may go wrong.
• prefer friends who are older than yourself.
• often have to defend your opinion or ideas or they are ignored.
• sometimes doubt your own ideas because you are the only one who seems to think a certain way.
• are regularly told not to be so difficult or so serious.
• would like to make the world a better place and you are already full of ideas about how that should be done.
• feel that you could achieve more than you have done so far.
• have trouble finding inner peace.
• are very loyal and trustworthy in friendships.
• are afraid to take an intelligence test, because what if you fail and giftedness turns out not to be a part of you.
• sometimes you know things, not knowing why that is the case.
• have extraordinary experiences that you cannot always place or explain.

#3: Intelligence, creativity and perseverance traits

You…

• work best in an independent position.
• set high standards for yourself and others and are very critical.
• have great perseverance when you are working on something that you like or need of yourself.
• often have to repeat something or explain it several times. Others don’t get you.
• have your own way of learning.
• don’t find learning difficult, but the way it is presented has to be appropriate.
• have a very strong sense of justice.
• have a special kind of humor.
• hate repetition.
• can spend hours focused on something if it interests you.
• find parties where you can have a good discussion pleasant.
• often feel bored at parties.
• have a large vocabulary, or you understand a lot, but you use that vocabulary a lot less.
• like the details in a discussion and “pick on” others for irregularities in it.
• have unlimited curiosity.
• feel a hunger for knowledge and information in areas that you find interesting.
• could read early on and you still love to read.
• have a full bookcase.
• work on many cases or projects at the same time.
• sometimes find it difficult to get started because you no longer know how to start.
• procrastinate a lot.
• experience trouble completing projects because your attention already moved on to the following.
• work according to fixed procedures or you have difficulty applying structure.
• work the best prior to a deadline and things usually work out just fine.

The Similarities of Highly Sensitive And Highly Gifted People

As you could see in the list of traits, giftedness and high sensitivity overlap in many ways. But they are not necessarily the same thing. Both gifted people and highly sensitive people perceive the world very intense and consciously. Both groups of people notice certain subtleties and discrepancies around them that the gross of the people around them seem to miss.

Next to that, both highly sensitive people and gifted people are aware of their environment and have an above average sensitivity to atmosphere and stimuli. Consequently, this makes both of them react excessively. The information received by the senses is also experienced more intensely and a deeper processing takes place.

Certainly in new environments they can therefore become overwhelmed by the stimuli that they experience. This can make them struggle with certain social matters, such as parties, and really dread it. They will also notice that they need more charging and recovery time than the people around them, who are less sensitive to stimuli.

What’s also the same in both parties, is that they often have the feeling of “not belonging”. Both highly gifted and highly sensitive people might feel a certain distance between them and other people. I’m not saying this is the case for everybody, but it is noticeable more often in these groups of people.

If you are either highly sensitive or highly gifted, there might me a bigger chance of not finding the right connection with other people. Consequently, this may make you feel rejected and misunderstood. Either of these individuals might have heard that they are “too sensitive”, “too emotional”, of “you worry too much, let it go”. Certainly gifted people are regularly called too critical, too difficult, too stubborn or too know-it-all.

Common Differences Between Highly Sensitive And Highly Gifted People

But next to these similarities, there are differences too. One of the biggest differences between giftedness and high sensitivity is the above-average potency and intelligence that is present in giftedness. This is the case if there is an IQ score of 130+. Gifted individuals also have a stronger analytical capacity, are faster in their thinking, are often one step ahead of others and are ahead in their development, which may be noticeable even when they are just a child.

Walking, talking or reading earlier than peers is a clear sign of being ahead in development. It also can develop later, but then they are already above their level. Some gifted people even skip developmental phases. For example, they start walking without having had the crawl phase. Being ahead in development, at home and at school, is not always noticeable. This can be the case when the child grew up in an environment that stood in their way, developmental or learning wise.

It might be the case that you now wonder if you are “only” highly sensitive, or that you are highly gifted too. You might wonder how to figure that out. It can be the case that you feel like there is more to you than just being highly sensitive. You feel like there is still an undiscovered part of you and that high sensitivity doesn’t cover the entire load.

If you feel this way, why not figure it out? Read more about it, make an appointment with somebody who can test you, if you’re able to afford that. In the end, it helps you to understand who you are and how you are wired. Therefore, even if you are not able to get the “scientific answer”, look for what works for you.

(Re)Cognizing Your High Sensitivity As A Highly Gifted Person

Let me first start this by saying that some gifted people might not even recognize their own sensitivities. A lot of them do know they are somewhat sensitive, but they might miss their high sensitivity completely.

When I researched this topic, I read that gifted people often are more ratio-oriented. Which means that they are more “thinkers” and that they tend to “think things out” in their own head. Many gifted people believe that the brain has all the answers, while intuition and emotions play an important role in finding answers.

So, what sensitive, gifted people might miss, is their connection to their own sensitivity. For instance, their ratio could be overdeveloped and the feeling-part less developed. Therefore, it sometimes takes years before gifted individuals understand how highly sensitive they are.

This reinforces when there is or was an unsuitable environment. When you have to adapt a lot because you have few like-minded people around you, it becomes a survival mechanism to close off the feeling aspect. You can no longer use your own intuition. You can also harden towards the outside world and become very black and white in your thinking and in relationships with others. For example, you break friendships abruptly because the other person does not meet your “requirements” or disappoints you in some way.

(Re)Connect With Your Intuition

Key is to get back in touch with your intuition and senses. Learn about who you are as a person, what matters to you and try to ignore your ratio. Try to incorporate some moments during the day to do this. Get back in touch with yourself. Make a habit out of it.

For example, sit down for a moment and try to be aware of your own body. Feel how you are sitting. Try to pay attention to how you feel, next. Do you have an itch? Do you feel your clothing on your skin? How is your stomach feeling? Is it hungry?

Go where your attention goes. What does it tell you? Is it a feeling on a thought of your own?

Take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Relax your shoulders. Take a good stretch. What do you feel now?

You can do this little exercise multiple times during the day. When you are behind your laptop. When you are binging a new show on Netflix. Or when you are in the grocery store. Get out of your head and try to feel. It’ll work wonders for getting back in touch with your senses!

If you’d like to read more about being highly gifted, you may enjoy the book ‘Gifted Grownups: The Mixed Blessings of Extraordinary Potential‘

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• How To Help People In Your Life Without Being Manipulative
• Highly Sensitive Person and Autism: What is the Difference?
• How To Understand And Listen To Your Intuition
• 4 Powerful Books That Highly Sensitive People Should Read

The post High Sensitivity Versus Being Highly Gifted: The Differences & Similarities appeared first on HiSensitives.

It is a common misconception that people with autism cannot feel empathy. In this article, autism coach Nikki discusses whether empathy and autism can coexist.

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes

One of the things you hear a lot, is that “autistic people do not experience empathy”. “They are incapable of putting themselves in other people’s shoes”. “People with autism can’t express emotions very well.” Although that is the case for some autistic folks, it doesn’t mean that every autistic person is like that.

Autism is a broad spectrum with many different traits which all express themselves in another way. There are a lot of people with autism and empathy, and in this article I would like to share some valuable insights about this with you.

The Origin Of The ‘People With Autism Cannot Feel Empathy’-Myth

It’s quite a persistent myth that people with autism don’t have empathy. Moreover, many people believe that they cannot understand feelings and emotions. As I said, some autistic people do have issues in this field. However, many autistics actually do experience empathy, compassion and feel a whole bunch of feelings.

Theory of Mind

You may wonder where this particular ‘autism empathy’-myth (there are many more myths surrounding autism) originates from. It had to come from somewhere.

Well, one of the reasons this myth is here, is because of the term “theory of mind” (abbreviated: “ToM”). This is one of the most popular theories about autism, which has been researched for decades. Consequently, many experts use this theory to explain the social issues that autistic people have.

In short, the “theory of mind” in autism means that autistic people have difficulty putting themselves in the perspective of the other. The ability to “read” others is also called cognitive empathy.

According to the theory, the “theory of mind” in autistics is delayed or has limited development. However, this does not mean that the “theory of mind” is absent in people with autism. Of course, one person with autism is not the other and it differs per person to what extent there are difficulties in the field of empathy.

The Sally-Anne Test

One of the first scientific studies of the “theory of mind” in autism was performed in 1985 by scientists Baron-Cohen, Leslie, and Frith. They examined the “theory of mind” of a group of children, some of whom were autistic, using the so-called “Sally-Anne” test.

This test consists of a short sketch with dolls: Sally takes a marble and hides it in her basket. She then leaves the room and goes for a walk. While gone, Anne takes the marble from Sally’s basket and puts it in her own box. Then, Sally is reintroduced and the child is asked the most important question. The faith question: “Where will Sally look for her marble?”. A question to test the theory of mind.

Since only four out of twenty autistic children gave the correct answer, the study assumed that children with autism lack “theory of mind”.

This study took place in a social setting created by non-autistic people according to their standards regarding empathy. Consequently, that influences the results. For example, an analysis of video recordings shows that the researchers did not pick up certain non-verbal empathy signals that the children with autism gave.

This made the children doubt themselves and they adapted their answers. Oftentimes, autistic children learn not to trust their own feelings. However, the interpretation of the results is also laced with neurotypical assumptions. Consequently, a researcher who thinks someone has a problem if they don’t answer by non-autistic standards is wrong – in my opinion – anyway.

If you’d like to see how they did the Sally Anne test, here is an interesting video for you:

Alexithymia

Another reason why people assume that people with autism have less empathy is because of alexithymia. A term introduced in 1972 by Peter Sifneos. Alexithymia is Greek for “no words for emotions”.

People who suffer from this are not (completely) aware of their emotions or are unable to process or express them. They also fail to recognize other people’s emotions and therefore appear less empathetic.

Rebecca Brewer and Jennifer Murphy researched the overlap between autism and alexithymia. About 10 percent of the population has alexithymia. This turned out to be 50 percent in people with autism.

Brewer and Murphy investigated whether the alexithymia or the autism causes the emotional difficulties that people often assume occur in autistic people.

To research this hypothesis, the researchers measured the empathy for other people’s pain within four groups of people. People with…

1. Autism and alexithymia;
2. Autism but not with alexithymia;
3. Alexithymia but not with autism;
4. Neither autism nor alexithymia.

It found that people with autism but without alexithymia have normal levels of empathy, while people with alexithymia, regardless of whether they have autism, are less empathetic. Consequently, autism is not associated with a lack of empathy, but alexithymia is.

But because alexithymia occurs more often in autistic people, it’s easy to just write every autistic person off as somebody that does not understand emotion and therefore cannot feel empathy. This is too short-sighted, and it upholds the myth.

A book that perfectly describes all the myths somebody with autism has to encounter, is the book ‘But you don’t look autistic at all – Bianca Toeps‘.

The Double Empathy Problem

So, we now know where the myth that people with autism don’t have empathy comes from. But there is more to the story.

Because autistics can feel emotions and they can have empathy. However, autistic people might show it in a different way than other people do. And that’s where a lot of misunderstanding gets in the way of things. This phenomenon is called the “double empathy problem”, as described by Damian Milton in a scientific study in 2012.

The “double empathy problem” assumes that empathy should be a two-way street. In reality, however, neurotypical people often don’t put themselves in the shoes of autistic people. They also have much less reason to do so, as the dominance culture is, after all, neurotypical.

As a result, autistic folks have to put in a lot more effort to understand the other and often with less result. And that’s because people without autism still assume they don’t “have to”, because of the prejudice that autistic people lack empathy.

For autistic people, this can be a heavy burden – possibly related to the psychiatric problems that many autistics have, especially those who camouflage their autistic traits.

Experiencing The World Intensely: The Intense World Theory

Furthermore, there is a theory that’s called the “intense world theory”, originating from a scientific study performed in 2010 by Kamila and Henry Markra. It’s getting a whole lot of attention, and as an autistic person – and coach I totally understand why.

This particular theory states that certain local neural networks in the brains of autistic people are hyperactive and that this is accompanied by a very strong perception, attention, memory, and emotionality.

This intense experience of the world can make it seem as if someone with autism has a limited “theory of mind”, because they withdraw themselves, or show avoidance.

However, in reality, people with autism are flooded with feelings of empathy and thoughts. Autistic people often need some processing time, to understand what they are feeling and to link it back to the world around them. I think a lot of highly sensitive people might actually relate to this.

This hyper empathy in people with autism is often not talked about a whole lot and I think we need to address this more often.

What Hyper Empathy Can Feel Like For People With Autism

To me, hyper empathy really hits home. It was the reason why I didn’t think I was autistic for a very long time. I thought I was a highly sensitive person because autistic people don’t feel such big feelings and they can’t be empathic.

However, now I know that the opposite can be true as well. Both sides can exist on the spectrum. I’m going to share some experiences from people with autism that feel hyper empathy, starting with myself:

“When I was a child, I slept with stuffed animals. Sometimes one of them would fell out of my bed when I was asleep. And when I woke up, I cried. I sobbed and felt so awful because one of my stuffed animals had to sleep on the floor, away from his friends, away from the warmth of my comforter. I always felt it deep inside. And the same goes for food now, for instance. Whenever something goes bad before I had the chance to eat it, I feel such an amount of guilt. That food didn’t get to live up to its potential. And again, I could easily cry over that.”

Yours Truly

“I can’t seem to handle world tragedies or negative news reports because I feel a highly personal connection to the pain in those people with no way to help them. It hurts me physically.”

Aiden

“When I receive bad news, my instinct is to laugh. I’m not laughing at what is said, but my body is reacting to the physical discomfort I am experiencing. I’m often not given a chance to explain before being labeled rude or weird. So now, in a crisis, I focus on how I will be perceived, rather than on healing and being myself. Being autistic means I experience so much.”

Bibi

How Do People With Autism Experience Emotions?

If you wonder how people with autism experience emotions, here are a few personal experiences:

“Emotions can feel very big. So big that they are bigger than myself. Whether it is a nice or unpleasant emotion does not matter. Being bigger than myself always feels uncomfortable. Although, of course, I would rather be very happy than very angry. It feels completely limitless and then I desperately look for limits. Literally and figuratively. Sometimes it goes so far as to hurt myself.”

Anonymous

“Emotions that arise from a negative situation and / or experience are the most difficult for me. I start rocking (from front to back), close myself off, pace myself, get restless. I often panic and become anxious about what I experience. And that can turn into a meltdown. When I am very happy I will flap, rock (from left to right), jump, hum (make noise). However, this can also end in an angry mood because I cannot process it.”

Anonymous

Can Autism and Empathy Coexist?

To answer the question in the title – “Empathy and autism, can they coexist?” – we now looked at how autistic people can experience emotions and empathy. And the conclusion is: Yes. Autism and empathy can definitely coexist, unlike what the common myth suggests.

Although some autistic people may lack cognitive empathy, they can have an excess of emotional empathy (feeling the other person’s emotions).

It is also the case that autistic folks can express their feelings and emotions in an atypical (different) way, which can create the appearance that they cannot or insufficiently empathize.

Therefore, not all autistics feel empathy or understand their emotions, but a lot of other autistics can actually feel empathy, sometimes even so much it physically hurts.

If you’d like to read more about autism, I highly recommend the following books:

Neuro tribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity – Steve Silberman
The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism – Naoki Higashida
Loud hands: Autistic People, Speaking – Julia Bascom
But you don’t look autistic at all – Bianca Toeps
Divergent mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You – Jenara Nerenberg 

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• Highly Sensitive Person and Autism: What is the Difference?
• 4 Types Of Highly Sensitive People You Should Know About

The post Empathy And Autism: Can They Really Coexist? appeared first on HiSensitives.

In this article, autism coach Nikki shares an effective method to transform your wellbeing: forest bathing! You will learn what it is, what the benefits are and how to get started with the art of forest bathing.

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes

As an autism coach, I’m always on the lookout for new ways and methods to help clients with their overstimulation and overwhelm.

A lot of the times I read about meditation and mindfulness, but not all tactics work for everybody. Also, I noticed this often is the case for highly sensitive people. Some people find it hard to meditate at home.

Here’s an easier self care method that can help you to recharge your energy and increase your wellbeing: Forest Bathing!

What Is Forest Bathing?

Forest bathing is a meditative art and practice that finds its origin in Japan. The Japanese word is Shinrin-yoku, and the practice involves connecting yourself with nature through your senses.

However, I know some people might have other associations with the word “bathing”. Nevertheless, you can see that forest bathing has nothing to do with swimming and is all about wellbeing. Instead, it is more comparable to the word “sunbathing”, but instead of wallowing in the sun, you wallow in nature.

Forest bathing is preferably practiced in a tree-rich environment. That’s why most people use the forest to connect with nature. Moreover, it’s easier to ground yourself and refine your senses, calm down, relax and perceive life as it is in nature. Especially for you as a highly sensitive person, it’s key to calm your senses once in a while. Forest bathing may help you to increase your wellbeing and reconnect to yourself.

The art of forest bathing is actually not that old. As mentioned, Forest Bathing was launched in Japan in the 1980’s. In fact, they actually launched it as a media campaign. The creators wanted to inspire people to revisit forests and get more involved in protecting nature as a whole.

Later on, Japanese researchers discovered more about the positive effects it has on the body and the mind. For instance, it turned out to be helpful as a natural remedy against burn-outs and other stress related complaints. Now, Forest Bathing rapidly conquers the rest of the world. 

If you’d like to read more about forest bathing, you may want to read the popular book ‘Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness’.

Forest Bathing And Your Wellbeing: The Benefits

We hear it all the time: spending time in nature is good for you! And I believe that, but as someone who believes in science, I wanted to know why this is. Luckily, science did its research and found out that this statement – which we already instinctively knew – is true!

Journalist Florence Williams wrote a book about the effects that nature has on us as people: The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative.

In this book, Williams writes about how she traded mountainous Boulder, Colorado, for the US capital Washington DC, and how she began exploring the benefits of being outdoors since then. Below, I’ll list a few of these benefits.

Forest Bathing Improves Your Memory

Multiple studies have shown that being in nature improves your memory. For instance, this research showed an increase of 20% in short term memory by walking in nature or even looking at a picture of nature!

Spending Time In Nature Lowers Stress

Multiple studies have shown that being in nature lowers your stress. For instance, this study looked at student that spent two nights in nature.

They turned out to have lower cortisol levels than the control group that spent the night in the city. Cortisol is the hormone that indicated the experience of stress.

Another research showed that people who spent time in nature also have a decreased heart rate next to the lower levels of cortisol compared to the control group. 

Nature Helps Restore Mental Energy

When you notice that you are mentally low on energy, studies have shown that you need to restore your brain. And the best way to do that, is to go out in nature. Another study has also shown that looking at a calming picture of nature already renewed some mental energy, something that didn’t happen when people looked at a picture of a city.

Forest Bathing Decreases Feelings Of Anxiety And Depression

This study shows that forest walks are related to lower levels of anxiety and less gloom. Also, another research states that walks are useful in addition to existing treatments for major depression. 

Being In Nature Can Boost Your Immune System

In 2010 there was a review of a couple of studies that concluded that all the findings point to the healing effects of forests on the human immune system. However, they do need to do more research into causality. 

In addition, there are more positive benefits for being in nature more often, like better concentration, improvement of creativity and it’s good for your eyes. Moreover, some studies even say that being in nature on a regular basis even lowers the chance of an early death.

You can imagine that Forest Bathing therefore has an extremely positive effect on both your body, mind and overall wellbeing. However, what highly sensitive people and empaths might even need more, is to slow down. And that’s what being in nature can do you for you.

This effect is an important one. Because as soon as you slow down, you’ll notice the silence. The silence around you, but also inside of you. And this is when the forest can heal you and bring you back home, to who you really are. 

Consequently, this illustrates the positive effects of forest bathing on your wellbeing. If you’d like to deep dive further into this topic, you may find the book ‘Your Guide to Forest Bathing: Experience the Healing Power of Nature’ interesting.

How To Get Started With Forest Bathing

But how do you start with Forest Bathing? Well, Forest Bathing is very accessible and practically anyone can do it. That is one of the reasons why I love this practice. You don’t need anything, except nature. And nature can be found in a lot of places.

One of the places is – of course – a forest, but if you don’t have access to a forest, you can just as well use a park, the beach or even your garden or balcony. Next to that, you need to bring an open attitude and surrender yourself to nature. 

Forest Bathing has three phases: the preparation, the Forest Bathing itself and the aftermath. Per phase I will share some tips with you.

The Preparation

Preparation is key towards a successful forest bathing experience. Here are some practical tips:

Find The Right Spot

Know where you want to go for your Forest Bath. Therefore, pick a place in nature where you want to go, which is accessible to you and where you can find your peace and quiet. Moreover, it’s important that you choose a spot where you feel comfortable and relaxed and where you (if possible) won’t be disturbed.

Pick A Time That Works For You

Forest Bathing can take some time, so make sure you have it! My research suggest you take about two hours to practice this meditation. Choose a time which is suitable for you and when you feel most at ease. Most of the times it’s quieter in the mornings, but you could also pick a time in the afternoon or even in the evenings. Moreover, choose what feels right for you.

Be Aware Of Your Outfit

Forest Bathing is done outside, so please be aware of your outfit! Dress appropriately according to the season and the weather conditions. When you are Forest Bathing, you won’t be moving actively, so it’s easy for your body to cool down quickly, so please keep this in the back of your mind when you are dressing to go out. Next to that, you don’t need any specific clothing or gear. Just wear what is comfortable for you.

Other Needs And Necessities

Because you’ll  be in nature for a couple of hours, it can be convenient to bring some stuff with you! Grab a backpack and put something to eat and drink in it. A tip I read online is to bring a thermos with some hot tea in it, to drink after your Forest Bath.

You can also put a notebook with a pen in your backpack, to write down your observations and insights that you might have gotten during your Bath. And if needed, put some sun lotion and bug spray in your bag as well. Minimize electronics (turn your phone off during your Forest Bath) and bring something to sit on, like a yoga mat or a pillow. 

While Forest Bathing

Once you start forest bathing to increase your wellbeing, consider these tips:

Arriving In Nature

When you have arrived in nature, open your senses. Walk in a calm, but aware manner, trying to make contact with nature through all of your senses. Smell the forest, listen to the wind going through the leaves and hear the birds chirp. Feel the leaves underneath your shoes.

Try to look at the environment with a child-like view, like everything is new to you. Try to look at the details of every single tree. Be present in that moment and let expectations and thoughts about your busy schedule go as much as you can.

Slowing Down

When you walk in nature, with that open attitude, try to slow down as well. Forest Bathing has nothing to do with hiking or other active exercise, but more so with taking things slowly. You can do this by often standing still, stopping to access your senses and moving as slowly as you can. I think walking isn’t even the best word when you talk about Forest Bathing. I think wandering is a better fit.

Be Aware

When you have slowed down and have used your senses, for a moment think about what you are feeling. What are you perceiving? What’s there with you? How does your body feel? Do you experience light and energy, or do you feel tired? Let all these questions flow through you. Let it happen. If you notice yourself getting distracted or when you start to feel rushed, just stop and focus your attention on something near you. Try to get back into the moment. And when you feel calm again, you can move further. One of the tips I read online for this, is to take off your shoes and walk barefoot. It keeps you grounded and in the moment even more!

Go To Your Favorite Spot To Sit Down

At the end of your Forest Bath you find a spot to sit. This usually takes at least 20 minutes and this part of Forest Bathing is one of the best methods of connecting with nature. This part also looks a lot like regular meditating, except you already opened up your senses by wandering to your sit-spot and you already had some thoughts go through you. By sitting still in nature, you’ll connect with your environment. It cultivates awareness of yourself and others around you. You’ll probably notice that things will reveal itself to you, the longer you sit. You can write these down when you are done, so you can bring them into practice later.

What To Do After Forest Bathing?

After finishing your forest bathing session, you will notice improvements in your wellbeing. It would be a shame to leave that in the nature. Here are some tips on what to do after your forest bathing session.

Take It Home With You

Every time you’ll Forest Bathe, you’ll take something home with you. An insight, a memory or even a revelation. You can use these in daily life, also on days where you don’t have time for Forest Bathing or another meditation.

But that’s not all. You can also use the techniques you use in your Forest Baths at other times. The mindfulness of Forest Bathing can easily be used around your house or your workplace.

Just stop your daily schedule for a moment, get a good look at the things that surround you. What do you hear? What do you smell? How does your clothing feel on your body? How does that make you feel? These questions keep you grounded.

Going Back

It may take you a while before finding a spot for Forest Bathing that really suits you. So it may be the case that you have to try out different locations. But if you have found that nice place in nature, don’t hesitate to return to it!

Going back to the same place stimulates a stronger connection with nature, because you will get to know this place and learn all about it. You can see how nature changes within seasons and over time.

How To Implement Forest Bathing In Daily Life

I already said a few things about how to take the practice of Forest Bathing into your daily life. But I’d also like to mention a few ways to Forest Bathe at home. Because not everybody has the time to go Forest Bathing on a regular basis and it’s also not always as accessible. 

Nature Sound Apps

Exercise your ears with nature sounds! Nature sounds are relaxing and they can easily be accessed with apps like Spotify! Just type in nature sounds or forest sounds and you are good to go. Another tip I received was the app Naturespace which apparently is amazing because they record the sounds in a different way. Somebody said to me that listening to it through headphones is a delight!

Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy is actually one of my favorite things. You can practice your nose with scented candles, diffusers or incense. You get a bonus point if you use scents like cedar or pine, which will really make you feel like you’re in a forest. It’s a great way to add a little bit extra Forest Bath-feel when you are practicing the techniques at home.

For instance, you may want to have a look at this forest pine scented oil. It will bring the smell of the woods into your home. Amazing!

Plants

Next on we move to sight! I already mentioned that looking at nature will help you feel more relaxed because it lowers your blood pressure and cortisol levels. So why not add a little bit of nature to your home? It’s okay if you don’t have green fingers, there is a plant out there for everybody. And not only are plants good for Forest Bathing at home, they also improve the air quality in your home, so that’s a win-win in my opinion!

Time To Use Forest Bathing To Improve Your Wellbeing

Now that you have discovered all these tips, it is time to implement forest bathing as part of your wellbeing routine. If you’d like to read more about this topic, here are some books that you may enjoy:

Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness – Qing Dr. Li

Forest Bathing Retreat: Find Wholeness in the Company of Trees – Hannah Fries

The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative – Florence Williams

Shinrin Yoku: The Japanese Art of Forest Bathing – Yoshifumi Miyazaki

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

• 13 Things Highly Sensitive People Need In Their Lives
• 7 Ways To Become More Spiritual As An Empath

The post How To Transform Your Wellbeing With The Art Of Forest Bathing appeared first on HiSensitives.

Researching your own thoughts. It sounds a bit meta, but it can really help highly sensitive people! In this blog autism coach Nikki shares a method to help you conquer your inner critic thoughts with support from ‘The Work’.

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

A little while back I was watching a vlog on YouTube. Just a regular, daily vlog that shows somebody’s life.

After a while, that somebody started talking about negative thoughts and I felt intrigued, because I too experience negative thoughts. I’m a highly sensitive overthinker and I believe I am not alone in that. So when the vlogger started to talk about ‘The Work’ and the inner critic, I was curious. And now I’ve researched the topic, I wanted to share it with you too!

What Is An Inner Critic?

Everybody I know has one: an inner critic. The inner critic could be described like a little external voice inside your head. However, it isn’t. That inner critic is nobody but ourselves. And most of the times, that inner critic can be quite useful for us in our daily lives. For instance, it can help you thrive in life, because it keeps you focused. It keeps your head in the game. Which can be so helpful when you’re at work, for instance. 

However, that inner critic can sometimes go haywire. And when that happens, it can behave cruel and mean towards us. As I said, it feels like that inner critic is a little voice, but it really is our own mind talking to ourselves.

Consequently, with everything we do, it critiques us: ‘You can’t do that, you lack the skill’. Or ‘don’t bother that friend, they think you are annoying’. Moreover, it can cause something called imposter syndrome or it may even ignite social anxiety. The inner critic wants perfectionism, when in fact, perfectionism does not even exist.

As a result, you can end up getting caught up in a net of negative thoughts. And when you are caught, it’s hard to get out of it. Your brain rewires itself in a way that it will start to believe itself. Therefore, the thoughts you create, become you. You’ll start to believe them, and when that happens, you’ll act on them.

This pattern of negativity will follow you around for the rest of your life. You’ll believe that the friend doesn’t want you around, so you’ll stop reaching out. And they’ll stop reaching out to you. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Does this sound familiar? Then you might want to discover The Work from Byron Katie to tackle your inner critic.

Byron Katie

Byron Katie is the founder of The Work. In her thirties, she was severely depressed. She went through a period of depression, anger about basically everyone and everything and she had suicidal thoughts. This period lasted almost ten years.

However she had a revelation: it was not the world around her that caused her to suffer from this, but it was in fact her own beliefs about it. She noticed a change when she started to disbelieve her thoughts and her inner critic. Consequently, this was the starting point for creating The Work.

“It’s not what happens in life that bothers us. It’s what we’re believing about it that bothers us”

Byron Katie

Byron started to rethink her thoughts about the world, instead of wanting to change the world itself. She chose to see and experience life, and reality, as it was. As a result, her inner critic could talk all it wanted, she was the one in charge of believing what it said. All thanks to The Work.

Consequently, when she did that, she noticed the beauty of the world. She got in touch with her own being. It gave her an unimaginable freedom and joy that never disappeared. 

The Work – A Powerful Way To Tackle Your Inner Critic

It’s important to remember that we can’t change our thoughts. Nor can we stop them from popping up. It’s normal. As I said, we all experience thoughts, positive and negative. It’s a part of human life. Maybe even more so for highly sensitive people, who are usually very aware of their thoughts. However, with Byron Katie’s The Work, we acknowledge that they are in fact there. 

With The Work it is possible to explore this inner critic. We look at our negative self-talk, what it is that is limiting us, what is causing us to feel stressed or what throws us off our balance. Consequently, The Work illuminates these negative thoughts so we can examine them. It’s a way of letting these thoughts come to the surface, all the way into consciousness. You can find out what is the truth for you: is this a thought, or is it something else?

The Work uses four questions, which will allow you to explore all these critiques and negative thought patterns. Moreover, you may find out that it is not the situation that causes you to feel bad, in pain, stressed or angry. It is not other people that are giving you those feelings. It is you. It’s the thoughts you’re having about that particular situation. 

Using The Work

If you consider to use The Work to tackle your inner critic, but don’t know what to expect, here’s an overview:

Putting Your Thoughts Onto Paper

The very first step of The Work is putting your inner critic thoughts onto paper: you formulate the thoughts on which you will later work on. Think of this step as creating a “starting sentence.” For this, you think about a stressful situation (and not the thought yet). Then, mentally return to the time and place of this stressful incident and give an answer to the following questions: 

1. Now that you are in this situation, time and location:
   1. Who makes you angry, confused or disappointed and why?
   2. How do you want this person to change? What do you want this person to do?
   3. Which advice would you give this person?
   4. What do you want the other person to think, say, feel or do so that you are happy?
2. What do you think of this person in this situation? Make a list of everything you think about this person.
3. What exactly of this situation do you never want to experience again?

After doing this exercise from ‘The Work’, you have put some of your inner critic thoughts into short sentences on paper. Now you are ready to start exploring these thoughts one by one with the four questions. Therefore, take a thought and run it through your head. Consequently, keep repeating the relevant thought. Repeat the unwanted thought, obstacle, or judgment that you put in a starting sentence beforehand. I’ll show you an example:

“Ellen doesn’t want me as her friend”.

If you are ready and formulated your sentence, go ahead with the four questions!

The Four Questions

The Work is a meditation practice. Now that you’ve found your one thought and put it in a sentence form, you can start working on your inner critic through The Work. Contemplate each question, one by one and one at a time. Consequently, write them down, think about them. Take your time for this process.

1. Is this true?

What is real about this? What is the truth? What’s actually happening? If this feels true for you, you can answer yes. If it doesn’t feel true, you can answer no. 

“Yes, this feels true for me. Ellen does not want me as a friend”.

2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?

Can you absolutely know that it is true? If you still think it is true, it means that you are attached to the thought. Do know that I’m not trying to change your mind, this question is for research!

“No, I don’t know if it is absolutely true. I have not asked Ellen”.

3. How do you react / what happens when you think that thought?

How is this thought controlling your behavior? Towards yourself and others? How do you treat yourself? How do you treat others when you think this thought? What are you doing? Be specific! How do you live when you believe that thought as if it were true? What images come to mind with that thought? What do you get when you live / think that thought? How does that feel inside? Where do you feel that? Where does it come in? Close your eyes, it hits you there, how far does the feeling travel further into your body? Everywhere, because it takes over you.

“This thought makes me feel alone, sad and insecure about myself. I notice myself getting out less often. Also, I don’t contact Ellen because I’m afraid of rejection. I will lose Ellen as a friend because I don’t reach out anymore. My social anxiety gets worse because of this thought. If Ellen doesn’t want me as her friend, other people might not like me either”.

4. Who would you be without that thought?

Who would you be if you had never heard that thought? How would you feel?

“Without this thought I’d reach out to Ellen. I am much better off because we’d accept each other for who we are and we’d have fun together. I would not feel insecure about myself, I’d be happier and I would not be scared of rejection”. 

Turn It Around

After the 4 questions you are going to turn the thought to yourself, then to the other and then to the opposite. Consequently, these reversals will give you the opportunity to experience other aspects of reality: 

So, if you reverse the thought to yourself, you could say:

“I don’t like myself”.

To reverse the thought to the other, you could say:

“I don’t want Ellen to be my friend”.

To reverse the thought to the opposite, you could say: 

“Ellen does want me as her friend”. 

Ask yourself, how are these sentences true? After every reverse sentence you have written down, you also should ask yourself: is it as true or more true than the original? Miraculously, the answer will always be yes. Is it not a yes just yet? Then it could be the case that you are still attached to that thought. 

Why The Work Is Great For Highly Sensitive People Dealing With A Strong Inner Critic

As a highly sensitive person, you might notice your inner critic taking over. However, know that is very common and okay to experience it this way. Nevertheless, as a highly sensitive person, you are susceptible to overstimulation. Most people will think that overstimulation will only come from external stimuli, like bright lights, hard sounds and noises and/or itchy fabrics. However, that is not always the case!

Overstimulation can also be caused by your own thoughts, made up by your inner critic. And because of that, it is helpful to be aware of this inner critic and thought patterns through The Work. Consequently, when you control your inner critic, you leave more room for positive thoughts, kindness, energy and connection. 

The Work will help you feel more satisfied with your life. As a result, negative thoughts won’t control your life anymore. You will notice them, you will examine them and you will put them to rest and walk away with much happier thoughts.

Have Fun Discovering The Work

Please know that this is a very, very short version of working with your inner critic through The Work. This shows how extensive and powerful this method is! Therefore, if you want to know more about this subject, you could find more on thework.com.

You can find all the information you need, you can find worksheets to do The Work, but you can also look up some certified The Work practitioners for when you want some extra guidance. 

Also, you may find these books very helpful while tackling your inner critic:

A Mind at Home with Itself – Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
Loving What Is – Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
A Thousand Names For Joy – Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
I Need Your Love, Is That True? – Byron Katie and Michael Katz

You May Also Enjoy Reading These Articles

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The post How To Tackle Your Inner Critic With ‘The Work’ appeared first on HiSensitives.

Being positive is a good thing, until it becomes obsessive and you don’t allow yourself to feel ‘bad’ things. In this article, certified autism coach Nikki talks about toxic positivity and why you should avoid it at all costs.

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

Positivity: it’s something we all could use in our lives, especially now that we’re facing a collective historical moment in time. People are forced to change their routines thanks to this pandemic and it’s difficult to see any perspective. Hence, we desperately need positivity!

However, positivity can also drastically turn for the worse when you’re not careful. And when that happens, it’s not helpful at all. Instead, it becomes toxic. In this blog you will learn what toxic positivity is and why it isn’t helpful for your overall well-being.

What Is Positivity?

Positivity is a commonly used term. You can type it into your Google search bar and find loads and loads of information about positivity. But what exactly is positivity? I’ll explain! 

In the literal term it means “affirming” or “agreeing”. When something is positive, it means that you agree with it as it is. Literally, positivity means consenting and having no problems with what actually is there.

However, the society we live in changed the meaning of the word somewhat. Our society has adapted the idea, that positivity means you should always focus on the beautiful aspects of life. You should be a “the glass is half full”-kind of person and stay away from negativity. You should always have a great attitude towards life and not complain about things that don’t go the way you’d like them to go.

Don’t get me wrong: it helps to look at life situations with a positive view. When you have a positive outlook on life, it might actually benefit you in multiple ways.

If you experience positive feelings, it sets the tone for becoming more creative. You are able to express your creativity and also think in a different way. Positive emotions can also make you become more flexible. You might react to things in a way you wouldn’t do if you had a negative view, which may open new doors for you. It also makes you more resilient when things become more difficult. 

Additionally, positivity reduces feelings of stress, which is also beneficial for your health. If you experience stress, it increases your blood pressure, tenses your muscles and it shoots out stress hormones like adrenaline and even cortisol (when you’re under stress for a longer period of time). I think you can imagine what that does to your health.

The ‘Good Vibes Only’ Culture

If you read all of this, you’d think that positivity is the way to go! And yes, it’s great to have a positive outlook on life. In my opinion however, our society’s view on positivity has taken a shift in the negative direction. Nowadays it’s expected of you to be that “glass half full”-kind of person. For example, when you go to social media, you’ll see a lot of hashtags like #GoodVibesOnly.

Nevertheless, hashtags and phrases like that leave no room for the wider range of emotions we as human beings are capable of feeling. There is a whole spectrum of emotions that are less positive, but they do exist. The #GoodVibesOnly-culture can quickly shift towards toxic positivity because of that. As I said, I’m all for being optimistic and I’ll always try to see the good in any situation, but sometimes it just won’t work. Sometimes you can’t see the positive side of something. Sometimes, you should feel the negative emotions instead of neglecting them. And society now tells us that those feelings are not welcome. 

What Is Toxic Positivity?

According to Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, toxic positivity is defined as “the assumption, either by one’s self or others, that despite a person’s emotional pain or difficult situation, they should only have a positive mindset or positive vibes”. This can be harmful, especially when you tend to feel these, more negative emotions, often. Or when you feel them deeply, as a lot of highly sensitive people and empaths do. You might get the idea that these feelings are bad and that therefore, it is a mistake to feel them. And this is where it gets toxic.

Our society tells us to “stay positive” when you get sick. Did you lose your job? Stay positive! Got divorced? People will tell you that there are other fish in the sea, there is no need for that depressing attitude. Phrases like these aren’t helping anyone. They are actually really bad and harmful for your mental health. 

Toxic positivity is a silencing tactic. It’s a kind of positivity that makes people ashamed for their negative feelings. It guilts people into stuffing their emotions away and it makes people build a wall around them, so they don’t have to feel bad for not showing #GoodVibesOnly. But if you do not work through your emotions, they will surface sooner or later. However, these emotions might surface in a different way. For instance, they might express themselves through anxiety, depression or even PTSD.

Internalized Toxic Positivity

Unfortunately, this kind of positivity is entwined in our society now. You can see it everywhere, on social media, tv or just in daily life. When you take a look on Instagram, for instance, you’ll see all the influencers living their best life. If something bad happens, you see people shoveling it away. They’ll say things like “somebody else might have it worse than I do, I’ll just stay positive!”. Or they’ll say that everything happens for a reason, or to just look on the bright side of life. Things will work out just fine in the end. 

Hearing or reading this on a daily basis will cause you to start believing it. And of course, a lot of things will work out just fine over time. And not every problem you encounter will be huge and can be easily resolved. But when your mind starts to believe toxic positivity and hears it repeatedly, it can turn into internalized toxic positivity. And when that happens, you might start to think that you’re not worthy of help and support. That you’ll just have to deal with it, because you’re not allowed to feel bad about it. 

Having thoughts like that can cause you to feel afraid to share your grief. You may be scared to talk to your friends about it, because they might think you’re being a Debby Downer. Moreover, you might only share the good things in life on your social media accounts. Additionally, you could start wearing a mask, so others won’t see that you’re actually hurting on the inside. 

Relearning Emotions

What we need to learn as a society, is that it’s okay to embrace the full spectrum of emotions. You can have an overall positive outlook on the world, but still feel rage, frustration, fear or sadness. Gratitude can exist alongside anxiety. Hope can exist alongside the feeling of loss. And we don’t have to feel happy and strong all the time. It’s okay to not smile for a while. Also, it’s okay to cry and perfectly okay to experience a whirlwind of feelings and acting on them. We do not need to put it away somewhere, so nobody will see them. Remember that it is a human thing to have a response to them. You do not have to hide them.

Allow yourself to feel. If you’ve had to deal with (internalized) toxic positivity it might feel strange for a while. That’s normal! You have to recalibrate your brain and that will probably take some time. But you can train your brain and give it some help to achieve some knowledge about your feelings. Whenever you notice that you dislike a situation or when you feel yourself suppressing your emotions, try to stay in that moment. Try to actually feel what it is that you are feeling. Then try to release it. You could yell or scream, cry or dance it out. But you could also journal or meditate about it, for instance.

What Is Genuine Optimism?

You can practice changing toxic positivity into genuine optimism. I have some examples for you, to help you shift your thought pattern. Here are some ways to rephrase your thoughts and support towards others:

• “Being negative won’t help you” > “It’s important to let it out”
• “Good vibes only” > “I love you through all your emotional states”
• “You’ll get over it” > “You are resilient and even if it takes a while, you will get through it”
• “Other people are struggling more” > “You are not alone and I will support you”
• “Crying won’t help” > “It’s okay to cry, we all do it”
• “Just stay positive” > “Things are tough right now, can I do anything for you?”

You can use these examples on yourself, when you notice you’re in a bad place and feel shame or guilt about it. However, you can also use these if you see a friend, family member or colleague struggling. With these little shifts in your thought pattern you’ll stop forcing people to feel positive about things, and you’ll acknowledge their actual feelings. This will help them to go through them instead of hiding them away deep down in their soul. 

Allow Yourself To Feel What You Need To Feel

I know that a lot of highly sensitive people have dozens and dozens of empathy to give and will probably know what it’s like to feel all the feels. But you might not actually see it return to you. You might be the recipient of toxic positivity. People might have said to you to stop being so sensitive and “just get over it already”.

I hope this post will make you feel a little bit more validated. It’s really not you, it’s them. It’s society. And you do not have to get over it. You’re allowed to feel. Take your time to work through it. To feel sad. To cry. Using positivity to bypass emotions does not heal you. Accepting and expressing them will. Because if you’ll let it out, you will have more room for genuine optimism.

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The post What Is Toxic Positivity And Why Isn’t It Helpful? appeared first on HiSensitives.