Do you want to go on dates without experiencing the emotional rollercoaster as an empath? Discover 3 valuable dating tips in this blog!

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

“I’m not ready to let go.”

My best friend and empath told me these words six months after breaking up with his ex-girlfriend.  

And he is not alone. 

I’ve been helping single men for over 10 years to get and keep the woman they want. 

My experience taught me that dating is more painful and stressful for empaths.

Why? 

Because of their highly sensitive nature, they are more easily triggered to feel negative emotions. This makes finding true love much harder. 

This is why in this article, I’ll show you the top three emotional triggers to look out for while dating. And how to handle them as an empath. So they won’t stop you from getting the love life you deserve.

Let’s begin!

Emotional Trigger #1: Cheating on your ex

“I feel like I am cheating.”

I often hear this while working with empath clients who come out of a serious relationship. Even if it has been months since they broke up, they still feel like they’re being unfaithful and breaking the trust of their ex-girlfriend.

In my experience, the underlying fear is they are afraid their ex is moving on while they still have hope of getting back together.

So when they decide to meet someone new, they compare their date to their ex. And their date can never live up to their expectations. So they close their hearts and avoid giving a chance to someone new to fill the void left by their ex.

The question now is how to get out of this.

First, you must accept how you feel is normal, no matter what anyone says.

For not highly sensitive people, it can feel absurd to feel like cheating on your ex even if you’re not together anymore.

Second, everyone, including not empaths, will go through an emotional roller coaster after a breakup.

It goes something like this:

One day you wake up feeling grateful for being single again.

The next day you miss her, thinking of ways to get her back.

And when you hit rock bottom, you start blaming yourself – reliving every bad moment in excruciating detail, asking yourself: “What could I have done to save our relationship?”

But the day after, things return to normal, and you feel okay again.

Over time you’ll feel these ups and downs less often. But for empaths, it takes way longer to break the cycle since they experience their emotions more intensely.

So you probably feel you’ll never be ready to meet another woman again.

But there are three things you can do to get off the emotional roller coaster much sooner: 

1: When you have a good day, I want you to write down all the reasons why it’s a good idea you’re not together anymore.

It doesn’t matter how big or small they are. Write down everything you can come up with. Do it the old fashion way with pen and paper. 

Afterward, record a memo to yourself. Say everything out loud you wrote on paper. This will come in handy for later.

2: When you’re feeling down, I want you to listen to your recording about why it’s a good idea you’re not together anymore.

It will help you jump out of the negative emotional loop much quicker. 

3: You need to tell her EVERYTHING that is still bugging you.

Hold nothing back. Especially if you still hold grudges. Otherwise, your emotions will eat you from the inside, and you will never be ready to date again. 

You can talk to her in person but if this is too much for you, write a letter and send it to her.

But remember to be civil – no need for insults.

Her reply and reaction don’t matter.

The goal is to cleanse yourself from the negative emotions stopping you from moving on. 

And as a side note: You can finish your letter or talk by saying how grateful you were for the time together and that you wish her all the best.

Do these three things, and you’ll be ready to find someone new deserving of your love faster.

Emotional Trigger #2: Your date is wearing a mask 

“I don’t understand why she is hiding her true self?” – Said by any empath man on a date with a woman who plays hard to get. 

Your natural superpower is you’re in touch with your emotions. You embrace them and don’t see having emotions as a weakness. Of course, not everyone is feeling the same way as you. 

And it can drive you crazy if you sense your date is wearing a mask and not opening up to you. 

Often, highly sensitive people tend to take it personally and blame themselves:

“Maybe I scared her by being so open, which is why now she plays hard to get.”

But in most cases, it has nothing to do with you. 

In fact, this is a chance for you to shine and impress her with your empath abilities. Most guys never go beyond the surface and assume she’s playing hard to get because she’s arrogant.

While in reality, a bad experience caused her to close off and be careful about what she reveals about herself. It can also be a cultural thing or she’s simply nervous to say something to screw up the date because she really likes you. 

No matter what it is, shift your attention towards supporting her to open up instead of blaming yourself. 

Do this, and sooner rather than later, she’ll show her true self and you’ll start seeing signs that she likes you. 

Emotional Trigger #3: You feel like holding back 

“I don’t want to play games.”

This is how an empath would describe his ideal date. 

Just like in tennis, it takes two to play. Both people influence the outcome if the date will be a success or failure. 

Previously we talked about how frustrating it can be if the woman you’re seeing is wearing a mask. But it is also frustrating if you feel you need to hold back on purpose. 

I get it. 

You’re sensitive, and you probably had some bad experiences where someone told you they felt overwhelmed by your emotions. Or you might be afraid to get hurt by revealing too much about yourself too soon.

But guess what?

If you want to get trust, you need to give trust.

And by sharing about yourself first, you make her relaxed to share about herself. 

You don’t achieve the same effect if you hold back and talk about small talk throughout your entire date.

I believe everyone wants to be in a relationship where you can be 100% yourself and your partner appreciates, loves, and respects you for it. 

So why not start building the foundation of a true-love relationship straight away?

Sure, not every woman you’ll go out with will be a good match for you. 

But you only need to find a good partner only once. 

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German

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